Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships

by Kate Loree LMFT

Overview

A full one-fifth of the United States has engaged in consensual non-monogamy (CNM) at some point in their lives, and 29 percent of adults under thirty today consider open relationships to be morally acceptable—yet there are few resources to turn to when it comes to navigating this more non-traditional and explorative territory.

Picking up where CNM self-help books like Polysecure, The Ethical Slut, and More Than Two leave off, Open Deeply tackles the most difficult challenges posed by CNM. Therapist Kate Loree—who has practiced non-monogamy since 2003, and who specializes in treating clients who also practice non-monogamy—pulls no punches as she uses vignettes based on her own life, as well as her clients’ experiences, to illustrate the highs, lows, and in-betweens of life as a consensual non-monogamist. Interwoven with these stories are thorough explanations of how attachment theory impacts non-monogamy, how blending cutting-edge, neurobiology-informed grounding skills with effective communication skills will make even the most challenging conversations regarding non-monogamy manageable, and more. The result is a compassionate, attachment-focused template for non-monogamy that will allow readers to avoid pitfalls and find adventure while concurrently building healthy relationships.

Non-monogamy is a wild and woolly ride—and Open Deeply is here to help make it a great one.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781647423360
Publisher:	She Writes Press
Publication date:	04/19/2022
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Sales rank:	170,171
File size:	1 MB

About the Author

Kate Loree, LMFT, is a sex-positive licensed marriage and family therapist with a specialty in non-monogamous, kink, LGBTQ, and sex worker communities. In addition to her master’s in marriage and family therapy, she also has an MBA and is a registered art therapist (ATR). She is an EDSE certified sex educator and an EMDR certified therapist with additional training in the Trauma Resiliency Model (TRM) for the treatment of trauma. She has been practicing psychotherapy since 2003. She cohosts her own sex-positive podcast, Open Deeply, with Sunny Megatron, has been featured in Buzzfeed videos, and has been a guest on Playboy Radio and many podcasts, including American Sex, Sluts and Scholars, and Sex Nerd Sandra. She has written for Good Vibrations and Hollywood Magazine and is a frequent public speaker. Her private practice resides in Encino, CA. For more information, please visit her on the web at KateLoree.com.

Editorial Reviews

An excellent, well-structured, and thorough guide for readers seeking nonmonogamous relationships.”
—Kirkus Reviews

 “Kate has written the perfect primer for anticipating and coping with the inevitable roadblocks that most of us experience along the road to the relationships we want. Clear, direct, and well informed, this is an excellent book for explorers and would-be explorers of the pathways that lie off the edges of our culture’s tidy Ozzie-and-Harriet map.”
—Janet W. Hardy, coauthor of The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love

“A deeply compassionate book that offers grounded, somatic, practical skills for navigating non-monogamy. Kate Loree’s depth of knowledge and experience creates an accessible, thoughtful, jam-packed guide to attachment styles, communication practices, coping with triggers, and healing old wounds. I feel like I got two years’ worth of therapy with a seriously gifted therapist by reading this book!”
—Tristan Taormino, author of Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

“This is the book every consensually non-monogamous person has been waiting for! Going well beyond the basics, Open Deeply is a practical guide for navigating the messy, tender, imperfect parts of open relationships.”
—Sunny Megatron, Certified Sex Educator and host of the Showtime Original Series Sex with Sunny Megatron

“HOLY SH*T! I wish this was around twenty years ago! In a world where the prevalence of ‘alternative’ relationships is emerging at lightning speed, Open Deeply is a long-awaited foundational tool for a lifetime of loving ourselves and others.”
—Jessica Drake, sex educator, creator/director/producer of The Guide to Wicked Sex educational series, and brand strategist for Wicked Sensual Care

“Open Deeply is BRILLIANT! As much as it is for anyone who wants to explore consensual non-monogamy, this book is also for any relationship that could use a tune-up or tune-in. Plus, Open Deeply should be on every mental health professional’s must-read list. Full of insights and examples that will help you feel empowered to navigate any form of relationship model with compassion and understanding, Open Deeply is the non-monogamy book we all need to read right now.” 
—Jamye Waxman, LMFT, author and sex educator 

From the Publisher

2022-02-07
A comprehensive relationship manual focuses on nonmonogamous couples.

Loree uses her experience as a therapist and as someone who is fluid (moves between monogamous and nonmonogamous relationships) to shape the lessons in this well-crafted book. This guide “allows you to avoid pitfalls and find adventure as you build healthy” nonmonogamous relationships. From the beginning, the author emphasizes transparency, consent, and communication as the qualities that are the cornerstone of a strong nonmonogamous bond. Relationship quality, not longevity, is the measure of success that Loree uses throughout her manual. To orient readers, she defines terms such as polyamory relationships(the triad, the quad, the V), primary partners, and hierarchical attachmentswhile underscoring the fact that nonmonogamous bonds can be customized for each person. The book covers how to build trust with partners, practice self-compassion, and cope with jealousy. To strengthen her theories, Loree uses examples of LGBTQ+ and heterosexual couples she has helped in therapy to demonstrate how to handle conflicts that may arise in nonmonogamous relationships. She provides tangible strategies for building vigorous connections, even drawing on her own experiences in a nonmonogamous relationship. For example, when Loree began to feel jealous of her partner’s girlfriend and the fun they had, she made an important discovery. She recognized that she did not have to be everything to her partner. There is no aspect of a relationship that Loree doesn’t cover. She explains how to break down cultural programming, examines how mood disorders and personality can affect relationships, and analyzes different types of attachments. She also guides readers through the coming out process to friends, family, and children. Loree’s tone is professional, compassionate, and informative. Her credibility and expertise as a therapist inform the valuable guidance that she delivers in each chapter.

An excellent, well-structured, and thorough guide for readers seeking nonmonogamous relationships.

Kirkus Reviews