Do not panic.
Lord Thistlebottom's Book of Pitfalls and How to Survive Them has taught Roxie Warbler how to handle all sorts of situations. If Roxie's ever lost in the desert, or buried in an avalanche, or caught in a dust storm, she knows just what to do. But Lord Thistlebottom has no advice to help Roxie deal with Helvetia's Hooligans, the meanest band of bullies in school.
Then Roxie finds herself stranded on a deserted island with not only the Hooligans but also a pair of crooks on the lam, and her survival skills may just save the day and turn the Hooligans into surprising allies.
About the Author
Phyllis Reynolds Naylor has written more than 135 books, including the Newbery Award–winning Shiloh and its sequels, the Alice series, Roxie and the Hooligans, and Roxie and the Hooligans at Buzzard’s Roost. She lives in Gaithersburg, Maryland. To hear from Phyllis and find out more about Alice, visit AliceMcKinley.com.
Alexandra Boiger is the illustrator of numerous children’s books, including the #1 New York Times bestseller She Persisted by Chelsea Clinton and The Little Bit Scary People by Emily Jenkins. Ms. Boiger lives in Northern California with her husband and daughter. Visit her at AlexandraBoiger.com.
Read an Excerpt
When Uncle Dangerfoot came to visit, everything in the house had to be just so.
The footstool was arranged in its place, the tea piping hot, the crumpets and jam on a platter, and Roxie Warbler watched for him at the door. The man who had wrestled alligators and jumped from planes was not to be kept waiting.
"And there he is!" cried Mrs. Warbler as her brother stepped handsomely out of a cab and came briskly up the walk. He wore a jungle helmet, a tan safari jacket with brass buttons, and he carried a long slender cane, which could, in an instant, become a harpoon, a gun, an umbrella, or a walking stick, depending on the circumstances and the weather.
Nine-year-old Roxie looked forward to his visits, for he had traveled all over the world with Lord Thistlebottom from London. And Thistlebottom was famous for his book, Lord Thistlebottom's Book of Pitfalls and How to Survive Them.
"Hello, Uncle Dangerfoot!" Roxie called, throwing open the door as he came up the steps.
The man with the handlebar mustache smiled down at his niece and tapped her fondly on the head with his walking stick. And that was about all the attention Roxie would get from her uncle, for although she had put on her best blue dress and her patent-leather shoes and she had brushed her hair till her scalp tingled, Uncle Dangerfoot was not a man of emotion and never hugged anyone if he could help it.
"Come in! Come in!" said Roxie's father, shaking Uncle Dangerfoot's hand and ushering him to the big easy chair with the footstool at the ready. "We are so glad to have you."
"So eager to hear about your latest adventure!" said Roxie's mother.
Roxie just stood to one side beaming, holding the platter of crumpets until her uncle noticed and helped himself. Then she sat down on the floor at his feet, waiting to leap to attention should he need some extra cream for his tea or a second lump of sugar.
"Oh, it was harrowing, let me tell you!" said Uncle Dangerfoot, taking a small sip of tea, then biting into his crumpet and jam. "It was uncharted territory in Australia, and our canteens had long since run dry...."
Roxie hung on every word, even though her uncle's stories tended to go on all evening. The crumpets and tea would be gone, and her uncle would still be talking. The flames in the fireplace would have died down and gone out, and he would still be talking. Sometimes Roxie was embarrassed by drifting off to sleep in spite of herself, and her father would carry her upstairs and tuck her in bed. But parts of her uncle's stories always lingered in her head:
"...So there we were, our lips parched, our mouths full of dust, our throats so dry we could scarcely speak. 'Do not panic!' Lord Thistlebottom said to me as we followed the dry streambed. 'Look for a sharp bend in the bed and keep an eye out for wet sand.' I, of course, having the sharper eye, spied it shortly, and there we dug down, down, down until we found seeping water...."
"I'm thirsty," Roxie murmured, her own lips
feeling parched, her throat dry. She opened her eyes to find that, once again, she was back in her bed, a glass of water on the night table, the first faint glow of morning coming through her window shade, and Uncle Dangerfoot, of course, gone.
She drank a little of the water and pulled the covers up under her chin. If only she could be as brave as her uncle. What a disappointment she must be! Not only did she sometimes fall asleep during his visits, but while he was afraid of nothing, Roxie Warbler was afraid of a lot of things: thunder, lightning, tornadoes, floods, and, most of all, Public School Number Thirty-Seven, where Helvetia's Hooligans seemed to have chosen Roxie to be their Victim of the Year.
It was her ears, of course. They were round ears, pink ears, ears of the normal variety, and Roxie scrubbed them daily inside and behind. But they stuck straight out from her head like
the handles on a sugar bowl, the ears on an elephant, the wings on a bat.
And though Roxie Warbler was neither fat nor thin, short nor tall, pretty nor plain, smart nor stupid a perfectly average child in the fourth grade at Public School Number Thirty-Seven her ears were the first thing anyone noticed when they looked at her and the only thing they seemed to remember.
From that first day of school a month ago, when Roxie started up the walk to the building, Helvetia Hagus had watched her come, and
her eyes narrowed. So did the eyes of her little band of hooligans: Simon Surly, Freddy Filch, and the smallest, leanest, meanest hooligan of them all a wiry little hornet of a girl called Smoky Jo.
When Roxie had got up close to them, it was Smoky Jo who squealed, "Why, Grandma, what big ears you have!" and the other hooligans laughed and hooted.
Helvetia brayed like a donkey: "Hee-yah, hee-yah!"
Simon howled like a hyena: "Hoo-hoo ha-ha, hoo-hoo ha-ha!"
Freddy cawed like a crow: "Ca-haw! Ca-haw!"
And Smoky Jo squeaked like a mouse: "Eeeka. Eeeka. Eeeka."
Together, their braying and howling and cawing and squeaking sounded to Roxie like feeding time at the circus and trouble for Roxie Warbler. Roxie had tried her best to smile and be friendly, but that only made the teasing worse.
"I think we ought to tape those ears to the sides of her head where they belong," said Helvetia Hagus, a large-boned girl with a square face and a square frame who wore her kneesocks rolled down around her ankles.
"I think we ought to find something to hang on those ears," said Simon Surly, who was as tall and skinny as a broom. When he was feeling nasty, his lips curled down on the left side and up on the right.
"I think we ought to find something to pour in those ears," said Freddy Filch, a round, red-faced boy who wheezed when he talked.
Smoky Jo had eyes that positively gleamed, and her short hair circled her head like a barbed-wire fence. "I think we should hang her up by the ears!" she squealed, and they brayed and howled and cawed and squeaked some more.
Every day it happened again, only each day the hooligans crowded a little closer around Roxie. It did not happen in the classroom, where the teacher, Miss Crumbly, could see. And Roxie did not want to bother her parents about it, for how could the niece of the man who braved sandstorms and avalanches tell her parents that she was afraid of a small band of hooligans on the playground?
She had almost memorized Lord Thistlebottom's book by heart. Every bit of advice was followed by the admonition Do not panic. Roxie knew that if she were ever lost in the desert, she should try to sit at least twelve inches off the ground, because the ground could be thirty degrees hotter than the air. Do not panic.
She knew that if you are jumping from a plane and your parachute does not open, head for water if you can. Do not panic.
Roxie knew that if she found herself on top of a moving train, she should not try to stand up. Do not panic.
But she did not know what to do about Helvetia's Hooligans, who had chosen Roxie Warbler to tease and torment and otherwise make miserable for every day of her life in Public School Number Thirty-Seven.
Text copyright © 2006 by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
This book is good for people who like fiction books. Roxie is a nice girl who is being bulled by a nasty band of people called the hooligans. You should get tjis book. Its awsome!!!
Roxie loves listening to her uncle's adventures, but she has never done anything exciting until the day a she and a group of bullies accidentally get trapped on an island in the middle of the ocean. Thankfully, Roxie stays clam and remembers the advice her uncle gave her about survival. The thing I liked about this book was that Roxie started off not particularly brave or adventurous. But she rose to the challenge and did what was necessary to survive, even when the other kids were too scared or too lazy to help out. By the end, she had not only turned her bullies into her admirers, but she also managed to save the day and get everyone home in one piece. This book is perfect for kids ages 7-10 that like adventure and survival. Content: Clean
Do you like crazy and adventurous books? Then read Roxie and the Hooligans by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. In the beginning Roxie goes to school to face her worse enemies, the hooligans. When Roxie steps on the garbage pile she falls in and comes out on an island with some bad to the bone men. Will Roxie and the hooligans make it out alive or will the bad guys get the best of them? Read the book to find out. I liked the book because it was exciting and the author made it feel real. I recommend this book to second or third graders who like adventure. You should read it because it was awesome. by Lacey
Fourth Grader Roxie Warbler, a young girl with round, pink, sugar-bowl-handle ears, is teased unmercifully by Helvetia Hagus and her band of rag-tag Hooligans: Simon Surly, Freddy Filch, and Smoky Jo. They all attend Public School Number Thirty-Seven. Roxie does everything in her power to avoid the mean bullies. She and her friend Norman (who is also bullied by the Hooligans)get to school extra, extra early and leave extra, extra late to avoid them. But, Helvetia and her wicked crew catches up to them and in her attempt to escape their wrath, she falls into the school dumpster. A smelly problem, but an even bigger one looms when she finds out the the Hooligans are in the garbage container with her...and it is being hoisted up in the air and taken out to sea to be dumped! They swim, and swim, and swim, to a small deserted (so they think) island. Good thing for Roxie that her Uncle Dangerfoot taught her how to survive every dangerous adventure. As Roxie becomes the brains of the crew, they outwit every disaster on the island. Three cheers for Roxie and her 'don't panic' attitude! A delightful story of resourcefulness, courage, and survival. The illustrations by Alexandra Boiger are endearing and add humorous visualization to the story
A delightful story of a fourth-grade girl who, stranded on an island with the group of bullies who have been tormenting her for the whole school year, uses the survival skills she's learned from her adventurer uncle.The way they're stranded is, I promise, actually believable, though unlikely. Roxie's smart thinking under pressure makes her a wonderful role model, especially since she's convinced she's a coward (the story proves her wrong)!Completely charming and I look forward to discussing this with my book group! (made up of girls going into 3rd-5th grade)Highly recommended!
"Don't Panic" -- This is a cute book!I liked how Roxie used what she had read to help her when she was in trouble.
Read this as a part of In2Books, where I discussed it with a child pen-pal. Highly developed coming of age story that shows how to overcome adversity and school bullies, and have some adventures along the way! Some of the vocabulary might be a challenge for younger readers, but is understandable in context. All in all, Roxie emerges as a strong leader who knows how to stand up for herself- and even turns the bullies into friends once she tries to understand them.
Dear Reader, This book is great. I absolutely HATE reading and I've already read this book twice. You have to read this!!!
I think that this book is the most enjoyable book I have ever read because it was so exciting and fun to read. It rocks. I wasn't able to put it down! I've already read it two times! and I'll probably read it again!
If you like to read adventure stories, this one is very good. It's about running from bullies and running from thieves and being stranded on a deserted island with bullies and thieves. Yikes! Roxie remembers her uncle's good advise to get her through her perils. Don't panic. A very good story.