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Shopping for a Booty Call

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Getting a 3:00 a.m. booty call from one of Scotland's hottest footballers is every woman's dream, right?

No.

It's my worst nightmare.


My sister's marrying a billionaire. I'm a bridesmaid, and the groom's Scottish cousin, Hamish, is a groomsman. We're paired together in the ceremony, and the man is so full of himself, he's bulging at the seams.

Biceps bulging. Thigh muscles bulging. Everything bulging...

Overflowing with charm and oozing animal attraction, Hamish is irresistible sunshine.

And he k...