Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century Parenthood

Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century Parenthood

by Drew Magary


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 A sharp, funny, and heartfelt memoir from the author of The Hike and The Postmortal about fatherhood and the ups and downs of raising a family in modern America 

No one writes about family quite like Drew Magary. In Someone Could Get Hurt, he reflects on his own parenting experiences to explore the anxiety, rationalizations, compromises, and overpowering love that come with raising children.

In brutally honest and funny stories, Magary reveals how American mothers and fathers cope with being in over their heads—from getting drunk while trick-or-treating and telling dirty jokes to make bath time go smoothly to committing petty vandalism to bond with a five-year-old.

Someone Could Get Hurt offers a hilarious and heartfelt look at child rearing with a glimpse into the genuine love and compassion that accompany the missteps and flawed logic. It’s the story of head lice, almost-dirty words, flat head syndrome, and a man trying to commit the ultimate act of selflessness in a selfish world.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781592408764
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 05/06/2014
Pages: 256
Sales rank: 384,632
Product dimensions: 5.20(w) x 7.80(h) x 0.80(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

Drew Magary is a correspondent for GQ and a columnist for Deadspin and Gawker. He’s also the author of the upcoming novel The Hike, the critically acclaimed novel The Postmortal, and Men with Balls: The Professional Athlete’s Handbook. He lives in Maryland with his wife and three kids.

Table of Contents

A Note from the Author ix

Malrotation 1

Merriweather Post Pavilion 11

Chicken 19

Gymboree 35

Slow Guy 43

Princesses and Paleskins 53

Caesarian 63

Evening at the Improv 75

Flathead 83

Dui 93

Spinning Wheel of Death 115

Faka 127

Hoddub 145

The Creek and the Coffee Cup 153

Electric Toothbrush 165

Nits 169

The List 185

Funland 195

Pizza Night 205

Nicu 213

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

“It’s an honest and hilarious portrayal of how aggravating it can be to raise a family.”  —Justin Halpern, author of the New York Times bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says

“The world needs Drew Magary’s wonderfully funny, breathtakingly honest book about parenting.”
—Jen Doll, memoirist and senior writer at The Atlantic Wire

“The Father's Day book for dads who hate getting books for Father’s Day.”
—Will Leitch, author of Are We Winning? and God Save the Fan

“If you are a parent, I challenge you to not simultaneously laugh and sob through this entire book.”
—Rachel Dratch, comedian and author of Girl Walks into a Bar...

Customer Reviews

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Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century Parenthood 4.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 16 reviews.
Heather_Wietz More than 1 year ago
This is a great book about being a parent in modern America. The stories range from laugh out loud funny to serious, and all are well worth reading. A five star book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Parents Buy This! This is a frank look at one man's account of raising children. Anyone who is a parent will laugh out loud at his stories. 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great book. So funny and totally relatable.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
As a 30-something dad of two children, I thought this would be an interesting read. Truthfully, the title and cover art caught my eye while I was browsing, and so I bought the book. I was a little familiar with Drew Magary from Deadspin and Esquire, so this wasn't a completely blind buy. Overall, the book was enjoyable and many of the stories relatable. Magary's trademark writing style is on full display and he doesn't disappoint. He is vulgar at times, and mostly his exclamations were well placed, but there were times when I thought his language was too much. This isn't a huge distraction from the pieces, but some of the stories would have read better without them. What I liked best about Magary's book is that these stories don't hold any punches; there is no "rainbows and lollipops" mindset and Magary is honest about his own shortcomings and the challenges of parenting. Also, as a thirtysomething dad, I could relate to Drew's frustration with the "bumbling dad" stereotype and that 21st century parenting is tough because it feels like someone is always watching you, and it's harder to be a good parent rather than the parent everyone else thinks you should be. As far as the individual stories go, "Faka" made me laugh the most (we should all be able to relate in some way), and we've all had to deal with peeing in the pool, and I could definitely relate to the challenge of parenting your child when your parents are around. Magary's best pieces are the first and the last story which are both about his third child who was born a preemie with a life-threatening birth defect. These stories stick with you because Magary does a wonderful job relating the emotions that he and his wife were dealing with throughout their ordeal. I found myself on the verge of tears at several points (not just when he's talking about his own children, but also when he discusses other babies and their parents in the NICU). This honest retelling of his experience reinforced the value of life and how grateful I am for my own children. Without these two pieces, this book is a 3-star book; however, these give the book some heft beyond the lighter comedic tales and make it a 4-star work.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I read this book while I was nursing, and laughed so hard the baby had to look up to see what was going on. There are very poignant bits, but mostly it is about how crazy kids and parents are.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A fun and honest book about parenting... lots of situations I could relate to personally.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Some of the early parenting stories are pretty damn funny, laugh out loud on the bus like an insane person funny. But after awhile it became a little boring reading about the author letting his kids walk all over him while he cries. And while the closing story is a nightmare no one should have to live through, kind of a buzz kill for the closer. Always leave em laughing.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The Magary book I was waiting for.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Go to DeadSpin and read the HATE this author writes about a Sports team and their fan-base. I will NEVER take advice from a man who goes into such detail about his passion of hate for a town and people he's never met! He's a liar in this book, he just wants your money. His true colors show during his newest blog, "Why Your Cardinals Suck".