Take Back Your Life: A Caregiver's Guide to Finding Freedom in the Midst of Overwhelm

by Loren Gelberg-Goff

Overview

What starts as loving, compassionate care becomes an isolating, stressful, never-ending race to get everything done. Inevitably, anger and resentment creep in toward the person being cared for and other family members who don't pitch in or to both. Guilt and shame for not feeling loving all the time get added to the mix. Worst of all, most caregivers have no support system and no plan for taking good care of themselves first so they can keep going without falling apart. Is there hope for a better life? Yes! In Take Back Your Life: A Caregiver's Guide to Finding Freedom in the Midst of Overwhelm, psychotherapist, hypnotherapist and experienced family caregiver Loren Gelberg-Goff shows you exactly how to have a life, feel that loving connection you thought was gone, stop arguing and get cooperation from your siblings and others to find other resources to guarantee that much-needed you time.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780999401101
Publisher:	Well Within
Publication date:	02/06/2018
Pages:	202
Sales rank:	380,130
Product dimensions:	5.25(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.46(d)

Table of Contents

Introduction ..................................................................................................xi

Chapter 1: My Desired Outcome .............................................................1

Chapter 2: From Deprivation to Self-Care .........................................13

Chapter 3: Boundaries .............................................................................30

Chapter 4: Preventing Self-Sabotage ....................................................48

Chapter 5: Anger and Resentment ........................................................67

Chapter 6: Overcoming Guilt, Shame & Emotional Blackmail ....91

Chapter 7: Forgiveness Is Key ..............................................................103

Chapter 8: Making Changes ................................................................121

Chapter 9: Pop Quizzes ........................................................................133

Chapter 10: Siblings Without Rivalry ..............................................144

Chapter 11: And We Breathe ..............................................................154

Appendix 1: Caregiver’s Step-by-Step Guide...................................167

Appendix 2: Resources and References for Caregivers ..................179

Acknowledgments ...................................................................................185

Editorial Reviews

"As an Aging Life Care Professional®, I work with elders, their families and caregivers every day. The stresses on caregivers are enormous. I am excited to recommend this new book to all caregivers who need to take care of themselves while also giving of themselves."

--Deborah Liss Fins, LICSW, CMC and Past President, ALCA New England Chapter

From the Publisher

2018-03-05
The founder of a self-help program for family caregivers shares insights into managing the interpersonal aspects of aiding a relative.In this debut health book, Gelberg-Goff presents a companion to her Take Back Your Life support group, which advises family caregivers and provides strategies for managing the challenges of helping a loved one. Although an appendix details some of the logistical aspects of the role, the volume focuses primarily on the emotional aspects: balancing the caregiver's needs with those of the patient, dealing with frustration in a productive way, and setting boundaries. Anecdotes based on anonymous stories from Gelberg-Goff's clients—as well as her own as caretaker for multiple relatives—serve as case studies for the topics. Each chapter concludes with a series of questions to guide further discussion and action as well as links to additional resources on the author's website (lorengelberggoff.com). The narrative voice is that of an unflappable and patient adviser, with the refrain "and we breathe" appearing many times throughout these pages. There are frequent reminders that caregivers should be aware of what they are and are not able to change: "Your decision is not written in stone. Each new decision brings you new direction, and each new reaction you feel or receive from others means you get to go back to Step 1 and process how you want to handle this new awareness." Although the text is occasionally repetitive (Gelberg-Goff cites passages by Julia Cameron about anger eight times in one chapter), the conversational and confiding tone makes for an easy read, with plenty of actionable lessons for overstretched caregivers. The author provides sample scripts for difficult conversations and frameworks for establishing emotionally healthy thought patterns that readers can easily apply to their own situations. While caregivers will still need other resources for understanding the practical aspects of home health aides, long-term care insurance, and assisted living, this guide is a useful tool for learning to manage the less concrete but equally important emotional facets.A valuable manual for struggling caregivers.

Kirkus Reviews