Andy and Terry live in a treehouse. But it's not just any old treehouse, it's the most amazing treehouse in the world!
This treehouse has thirteen stories, a bowling alley, a see-through swimming pool, a secret underground laboratory, and a marshmallow machine that follows you around and automatically shoots marshmallows into your mouth whenever you are hungry.
Life would be perfect for Andy and Terry if it wasn't for the fact that they have to write their next book, which is almost impossible because there are just so many distractions, including thirteen flying cats, giant bananas, mermaids, a sea monsters pretending to be mermaids, enormous gorillas, and dangerous burp gas-bubblegum bubbles!
Join the fun with The 13-Story Treehouse by Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton. This title has Common Core connections.
About the Author
Andy Griffiths is the New York Times bestselling author of What Body Part is That?, Killer Koalas From Outer Space, The Big Fat Cow that Goes Kapow, and The Cat on the Mat is Flat. He lives in Australia.
Terry Denton has worked with Andy on many books, including Killer Koalas From Outer Space and The Big Fat Cow that Goes Kapow. He lives in Australia with his wife and three kids.
Read an Excerpt
THE 13-STORY TREEHOUSE
Hi, my name is Andy.
This is my friend Terry.
We live in a tree.
Well, when I say "tree," I mean treehouse. And when I say "treehouse," I don't mean any old treehouse — I mean a 13-story treehouse!
So what are you waiting for?
Come on up!
It's got a bowling alley,
a see-through swimming pool,
a tank full of man-eating sharks,
vines you can swing on,
a games room,
a secret underground laboratory,
a lemonade fountain,
a vegetable vaporizer,
and a marshmallow machine that follows you around and automatically shoots marshmallows into your mouth whenever you're hungry.
As well as being our home, the treehouse is also where we make books together. I write the words and Terry draws the pictures.
As you can see, we've been doing this for quite a while now.
THE FLYING CAT
If you're like most of our readers, you're probably wondering where we get all the ideas for our books from. Well, sometimes we think them up. Other times they are based on stuff that actually happened. Like this book, for instance.
It all started one morning when I got up and went down to get some breakfast.
Terry was already in the kitchen. He was painting a cat. And when I say "painting a cat," I don't mean he was painting a picture of a cat. He was painting an actual cat! Bright yellow!
"This might be a stupid question, Terry," I said, "but why are you painting that cat bright yellow?"
"Because I'm turning it into a canary," he answered.
I started to explain to Terry that you can't turn a cat into a canary just by painting it yellow but he said, "Yes, you can — watch this!" and carried the dripping cat to the edge of the deck.
"No!" I yelled, as Terry held the cat out in mid-air ... and let it go.
But I needn't have worried. The cat didn't fall. Two little wings popped out of its back, and then it tweeted and flew away.
"See?" said Terry, turning to me in triumph. "I told you so!"
THE MISSING CAT
We watched the cat ... I mean canary ... actually, I think I mean catnary ... until it flew out of sight. Then the doorbell rang.
It was Jill, our neighbor. She lives on the other side of the forest in a house full of animals. She's got two dogs, a goat, three horses, four goldfish, one cow, six rabbits, two guinea pigs, one camel, one donkey, and one cat.
"Uh-oh," said Terry. "She's probably looking for her cat!"
"Don't tell me that was Silky you just turned into a canary!" I said.
"Okay, I won't," said Terry. "But it was."
This was bad. Jill loved that cat. She loved all her animals, but she especially loved Silky.
"Oh no!" I said. "She is going to be really mad when she finds out what you've done!"
"Maybe we shouldn't tell her."
"Good idea!" I said. "Let's pretend we're not home."
"No," I said quickly, "she's not here."
Now, before you start thinking I'm the kind of person who would tell a lie, I'd just like to point out that although the first part of my sentence ("No") was technically a lie, the second part ("she's not here") was definitely the truth, which — I'm sure you will agree — cancels out the lie.
"Oh," said Jill sadly. "Well, anyway, I've made up a missing-cat poster. Can I put one on your tree?"
"Sure," I said. "It's the least we can do." (Which was also definitely 100 percent true.)
As soon as Jill left I turned to Terry. "We've got to find that cat!" I said.
"You mean canary," said Terry.
"Whatever!" I said. "We've got to find her."
But before we could even begin looking for her the video-phone rang. (Yes, we've got one of those as well — and it's 3D!)
"Maybe that's Silky now," said Terry.
"Don't be stupid," I said. "Cats can't use phones."
"Maybe they can," said Terry. "You said they couldn't turn into canaries and you were wrong about that!"
THE BIG RED NOSE
We raced back upstairs. A big red nose filled the video-phone screen. Uh-oh. It was Mr. Big Nose, our publisher. And he was angry. I could tell this because his nose was even bigger — and redder — than usual.
"WHERE'S MY BOOK?" he yelled.
"What book?" said Terry.
"The one you chuckle-heads promised me a year ago would be on my desk last Friday!"
"Oh," said Terry. "Is it last Friday already?"
"It's PAST last Friday already!" shouted Mr. Big Nose. "WAY past, and your book is STILL not on my desk."
The truth was we'd kind of forgotten about the book. We were a little behind schedule. Well, when I say "a little behind schedule," I mean a lot behind schedule. And when I say "a lot behind schedule," I mean a LOT LOT LOT behind schedule.
Not that I was about to let Mr. Big Nose know that. He was already pretty angry and the angrier he gets, the bigger his nose gets. And if his nose got any bigger I was worried that it might explode. And that was not something I wanted to see — especially not in 3D.
"No problem, Mr. Big Nose," I lied. "It's under control. We'll get it to you as soon as we can."
"Well, as soon as you can had better be by five o'clock tomorrow afternoon, or else!"
"Don't worry, Mr. Big Nose," I said. "It will be there, all right. You can count on us!"
"But —" said Terry.
I quickly ended the call before Terry could say anything that would make Mr. Big Nose any angrier than he already was.
"You shouldn't have told him that," said Terry. "I'm way too busy to get it done by tomorrow. Look at my 'To Do' list. I'm full up!"
"And don't even get me started on my 'To Don't' list."
"Your 'To Dos' and 'To Don'ts' will just have to wait," I said. "If we don't get this book finished it will be back to the monkey house for us."
"The monkey house?" said Terry, looking terrified. "Not the monkey house! Anything but the monkey house!"
For those of you who don't know, the monkey house is where Terry and I used to work. It was the worst job ever.
Cleaning the monkey house was bad enough ...
grooming the monkeys was even worse ...
but the worst job of all was having to fill in for the monkeys while they were on a break.
"I'm not going back to the monkey house," said Terry, "and that's final!"
"And you won't have to," I said, "not if we get our book finished. Come on, let's get started. We've only got until tomorrow!"
THE DRAWING COMPETITION
We went to the kitchen table. It's where we do most of our work. Or, rather, in the case of the past year it's where we didn't do most of our work. But that could soon be fixed. I figured Terry would have a few funny sketches in his drawing folder to get us started. It would simply be a matter of grabbing the best ones, adding a few words and, hey presto, we'd have our new book. No sweat, no worry. We are professional book-writers after all. I mean, you saw our piles of books.
"Okay," I said, "let's see what you've got!"
Terry opened his drawing folder and laid it flat on the table. "You're going to love this," he said.
In front of me was a picture of a finger.
"This is just a picture of a finger," I said.
"Yes," said Terry proudly. "But not just any finger ... it's my finger."
"Uh-huh," I said. "What else have you got?"
"I've got a close-up picture of my finger," said Terry. "And it's labeled."
I stared at it.
"Well?" said Terry, a big grin on his face. "What do you think? Lice picks, get it? Not ice picks ... lice picks!"
"Yeah, I get it," I said. I turned the pages, looking for more pictures, but all I saw was this...
and this ...
and this ...
"Is that it?" I said. "Two pictures? You've had a whole year and you've only come up with two pictures? Honestly, Terry! Do you expect me to do all the work — the pictures as well as the writing?"
"Of course not," said Terry, "you can't draw."
"Yes I can!" I said. "Drawing is easy. It's coming up with the words that takes real skill."
"If you think drawing is so easy then let's have a competition," said Terry, handing me a pencil.
"No problem!" I said.
First we drew a knife.
"That's not a knife," said Terry. "This is a knife."
Next we drew a worm.
"That's not a worm," said Terry. "This is a worm."
Next we drew a banana.
"That's not a banana," said Terry. "This is a banana."
"No," I said, "that's not a banana. This is a banana!" I picked up the giant banana that Terry had made the day before and charged at him.
"Put the giant banana down, Andy," said Terry, backing away.
"I'll put it down," I said, "when you admit that I'm a better drawer than you are."
"But you're not."
"Okay," I said, "then I'm sorry to inform you that I'm going to have to whack you over the head with this giant banana."
"Not if I can whack you first!" said Terry, snatching the banana from my hands and whacking me over the head with it.
That's when everything went black.
The next thing I knew I was soaking wet and Terry was kneeling in front of me holding an empty bucket.
"I'm so glad you're all right!" he said. "I thought I'd killed you!"
"So did I," I said. "I can't believe you whacked me with a giant banana!"
"But you were going to whack me with it."
"Two wrongs don't make a right, Terry," I reminded him.
"I suppose not," he said, "and I'm sorry. But look on the bright side. At least I saved your life by throwing a bucket of water in your face."
"But now I'm all wet!"
"Yes, but at least it's better than being dead."
"I'll tell you one thing," I said, "we're both as good as dead if we don't stop wasting time and get our book finished."
"You mean get our book started," said Terry. "Do you have anything in your writing folder?"
"Actually, I do have the start of a story," I said. "And it's a pretty good one, too."
"That's great," said Terry. "Let's see it!"
I grabbed my writing book and began turning the pages.
"Great start!" said Terry. "Action-packed! But what happens next?"
"I'm not sure," I said. "That's as far as I got."
"That's it?" said Terry. "Four words?!"
"Four pages," I said.
"Yeah, but it's still only four words," said Terry, "and one of them isn't even spelled right. I'm pretty sure it's 'upon,' not 'upom.'"
"Well excuse me, Mr. Roald Dahl!" I said. "If you know so much about story writing, why don't you write it?"
"Because it's time for my favorite TV show!" said Terry.
"What about our book?" I said.
"Why don't you write while I watch?"
"Because I can't write when the TV is on!" I said. "I can't concentrate!"
"Then come and watch it with me," said Terry, patting the beanbag beside him.
And that's why, instead of working on our book, we ended up wasting half an hour watching the world's dumbest dog on the world's dumbest TV show.
But don't just take my word for it.
See for yourself!
Excerpted from "The 13-Story Treehouse"
Copyright © 2011 Backyard Stories Pty Ltd.
Excerpted by permission of Feiwel and Friends.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
CHAPTER 1: THE 13-STORY TREEHOUSE,
CHAPTER 2: THE FLYING CAT,
CHAPTER 3: THE MISSING CAT,
CHAPTER 4: THE BIG RED NOSE,
CHAPTER 5: THE DRAWING COMPETITION,
CHAPTER 6: THE BARKY THE BARKING DOG SHOW,
CHAPTER 7: THE MONSTER MERMAID,
CHAPTER 8: THE BIG BUBBLE,
CHAPTER 9: THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERFINGER,
CHAPTER 10: THE 13-STORY MONKEY HOUSE,
CHAPTER 11: THE GIANT GORILLA,
CHAPTER 12: THE DAY SILKY SAVED THE DAY,
CHAPTER 13: THE END,
ABOUT THE AUTHOR,