The Box of Daughter: Healing the Authentic Self

by Katherine Mayfield

Overview

Winner of the New England Book Festival and Reader's Favorite Awards, The Box of Daughter is the compelling true story of the author's struggle to recover from emotional abuse and family bullying, and her quest to raise her self-esteem and create a more authentic life.

This captivating memoir offers many insights on the process of healing from Complex PTSD, describing the author's journey of recovery after growing up in a deeply dysfunctional family and illustrating how a person with Complex PTSD can make the leap from surviving to thriving.

In her twenties and thirties, the author pursued a professional acting career, appearing Off-Broadway, in independent films, and on the daytime drama Guiding Light. Entering therapy in her thirties in response to a divorce, she began to unravel the threads of dysfunction in her family.

More than a decade later, armed with the truth about her family, she sought to understand the challenges her parents faced and recover from the trauma while simultaneously acting as the family caregiver for her parents in their late 80s and early 90s. Freed from the abuse by the deaths of her parents in 2005 and 2008, the author began an inspiring journey to wholeness--developing self-esteem, uncovering her true self, and finally creating a life that is truly her own.

Praise for The Box of Daughter:

"Every now and then, a book comes along that's written in such a compelling and gripping way that the narrative has the power to stay with you long after you've read the last page. Such is the case with The Box of Daughter by Maine author Katherine Mayfield... At its core, The Box of Daughter reveals what can only be seen as being a triumph of the human spirit."--Paul Collins, Nashua Telegraph

"A testament to the merit of psychological healing through the understanding and expression of feelings....Mayfield's memoir provides helpful insight to those facing similar struggles."--Kirkus Reviews

"A brave, unflinching, and exquisitely rendered memoir of a family caught in the tragic and relentless cycles of emotional incest. Couldn't put it down."--Darcy Scott, author of Hunter Huntress, Margel's Madness, and the award-winning Maine Island Mystery Series

"Katherine Mayfield holds nothing back, and her unflinching, thorough, and articulate honesty is a true gift for anyone wanting to understand, face, and rise above the emotional scars of a damaging childhood."--Amy Wood, Psy.D., author of Life Your Way

Katherine Mayfield is the author of Bullied: Why You Feel Bad Inside and What to Do About It, Stand Your Ground: How to Cope with a Dysfuntional Family and Recover from Trauma, The Box of Daughter & Other Poems, The Meandering Muse, and other books on dysfunctional families.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781936447435
Publisher:	Maine Authors Publishing & Boston Writers Publishing
Publication date:	11/30/2011
Pages:	204
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Katherine Mayfield is the award-winning author of Bullied: Why You Feel Bad Inside and What to Do About It, a guide to recovery for teens and adults who have been bullied; The Box of Daughter and Other Poems; The Meandering Muse; and a number of books on dysfunctional families. She has appeared as keynote speaker for the New England Conference of the United Methodist Church, the Ogunquit Rotary Club, and the PTO at South School in Rockport, Maine, and has presented at schools and libraries across the Northeast on recovery from bullying and emotional abuse. Ms. Mayfield appeared on NBC-TV's "207" to discuss the bullying epidemic in relation to her book, Bullied, and has been a guest on radio shows across the country, discussing recovery from bullying and prevention of teen suicide. She has written for national magazines, local newspapers, and numerous websites, and received funding from the Maine Arts Commission in 2013. Ms. Mayfield's memoir, The Box of Daughter won awards in the New England Book Festival and Reader's Favorite Awards, and was nominated as a finalist in the Maine Literary Awards. Along with her books, publication credits include Dance Teacher Now magazine, Dance Spirit magazine, The Significato Journal online, Sasee magazine, The Women's Times, the Greenfield Recorder, Salon.com, TinyBuddha.com, MeaningfulWomen.com, and WomensMemoirs.com. A former actress, she appeared Off-Broadway and on the daytime drama Guiding Light. She blogs on dysfunctional families on her website, www.TheBoxofDaughter.com.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Looking Out for Number One
Chapter 2: Trapped in the Mirror
Chapter 3: The Perfect Family
Chapter 4: The Monsters
Chapter 5: The Birthday Party
Chapter 6: Family Photos
Chapter 7: Reaching Out for Life
Chapter 8: California, Here We Come
Chapter 9: St. Louis Blues
Chapter 10: The Great Discovery
Chapter 11: We're All Connected
Chapter 12: The End of the Road
Chapter 13: The Long Goodbye
Chapter 14: Out of the Box
Chapter 15: Unraveling
Epilogue: Journey to Wholeness
Acknowledgments
Bibliography and Recommended Reading
Reader's Guide for The Box of Daughter

Editorial Reviews

"Compelling...gripping...a triumph of the human spirit." -Nashua Telegraph "An excellent book to give to a friend struggling with family entanglement issues.... I have no doubt it will help many, many people." -TCM Reviews "Mayfield's memoir is a testament to the merit of psychological healing through the understanding and expression of feelings. Full of stark realities of abuse but also the hopefulness of healing, Mayfield's memoir provides helpful insight to those facing similar struggles." -Kirkus Reviews "A brave, unflinching, and exquisitely rendered memoir of a family caught in the tragic and relentless cycles of emotional incest. Couldn't put it down." -Darcy Scott, author of Hunter Huntress, Margel's Madness, and the Maine Island Mystery Series "Fresh, bold, and inspiring." -Examiner.com "Katherine Mayfield holds nothing back, and her unflinching, thorough, and articulate honesty is a true gift for anyone wanting to understand, face, and rise above the emotional scars of a damaging childhood." -Amy Wood, Psy.D., author of Life Your Way "The Box of Daughter is a fine pick for community library memoir collections focusing on the family." -Midwest Book Review "A hopeful story of a woman unraveled by abuse but found again in self-love and recovery." -Karyl McBride, Ph.D., author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers "Katherine Mayfield's book is an insightful, honest, and riveting account of her childhood emotional abuse and her journey to wholeness as an adult." -Aletha Solter, Ph.D., founder of the Aware Parenting Institute and author of Tears and Tantrums "This book stirred up a lot of "aha" moments-oh look, that's my mom...oh look, that's my whole family! Well-written, intriguing, and so very enlightening. Thoroughly enjoyed this book, and if I could give it more than 5 stars, I certainly would." -LibraryThing "A very compelling and honest account of the author's growing self-awareness and ascent from a lifetime of abuse." -Toadstool Bookshop, Milford, NH

From the Publisher

An exploration of the guilt and anger associated with breaking out of a box fashioned by years of abuse. In her memoir, Mayfield (Acting A to Z, 2007, etc.) describes the hurt, longing and anger she experienced while excavating years of emotional abuse endured at the hands of her parents. The poem, written by Mayfield, that opens the book encapsulates the author's struggle best: "It's been many years now / That I've been in the box of daughter— / I've worked a lot on the box, / Making holes to see out / … I've pushed and pushed at the walls for years and years, / Trying to make the box fit me better, / But it's a very strong box." For Mayfield, the strength of the guilt and responsibility associated with being a daughter trapped her, even following the death of her parents. Her father, the son of a minister, was extremely lonely, living a solitary life disconnected from his wife and relying heavily on Mayfield. Her mother, a model citizen who was always helping others, was insatiable in her need for attention and enacted a reign of terror in the household. Mayfield's discovery of her true self through daunting psychological work is a long process that she explains by describing the methods of therapy, thought, writing and reading that led her to understand the impetus of many of her issues and to improve her outlook and health. The flashbacks in the book, though clumsily called attention to with the use of present tense, are heartbreaking. One specific flashback recounts her mother's cruel use of power to frighten Mayfield and her friends during her seventh birthday party. Mayfield's memoir is a testament to the merit of psychological healing through the understanding and expression of feelings and allowing the past trauma of the psyche to come to the forefront to be acknowledged. Full of stark realities of abuse but also the hopefulness of healing, Mayfield's memoir provides helpful insight to those facing similar struggles.

Kirkus Reviews