Meet Olive Persimmon. Growing up, she looked exactly like Danny DeVito, except she was thirteen and a girl. By some miracle, she grew into a relatively normal, well-adjusted thirty-something woman living in New York City—with one notable exception: she hasn’t had sex in five years, one month, three days, two-point-five hours . . . and counting.
Faced with bona fide sex rut, she decides it's time to take action to save her love life and get her mojo back. Challenged by a friend to "say yes" to experiences she might normally avoid, Olive embarks on a series of adventures and explores everything from BDSM classes to cuddlers-for-hire, from foot fetishes to lessons with a top-ranked pickup artist, and more! Each awkward, funny, and sometimes downright embarrassing encounter brings Olive closer to discovering the power of saying yes—to herself, others, and life itself.
For fans of Jenny Slate, this is a funny, irreverent, and honest tale of one young woman's journey to reclaim her sexuality on the fringes of New York City's sex and dating world.
Readers can see for themselves how this girl next door overcame insecurities around dating, sex, and loveall with openness, honesty, and a wicked sense of humor. Along the way, readers will wonder: Will Olive ever have sex again? Will her love life be okay? Will her toe fungus come back? Does she ever find her mojo, and where was it hiding?
|Product dimensions:||5.90(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.00(d)|
About the Author
Table of Contents
The Brief History of an Unintentional Celibate 1
Knot What You Think 7
The Stealthiest Ex 35
There's a Boy in My Room 43
The Most Beautiful Penis in the World 55
All the Deep Shit That Is Really Wrong with Me 67
Fetish Fervor 77
Goddamnit, There's Still a Lot of Shit Lurking Around 83
Secrets from a Top Pickup Artist 87
Bringing Sexy Back 99
Foot Worship, It's a Thing. You Should Try It. 115
An Itch to Scratch 119
Apples and Oranges 127
The Stupid Things You Do after a Breakup 135
What Is Sex Even? 147
Clark Kent 151
The Friends with Benefits Experiment 157
A Cuddling Catastrophe 165
I Paid a Man to Cuddle with Me 183
Squirting Lab 203
Everyone Told Me Not to Do It and I Did It Anyway 213
An Ending That's Happy 221