The Good Widow: A Memoir of Living with Loss

by Jennifer Katz

Overview

What do we do when life ends? How do we honor the past while moving into an unimaginable, uncertain future? This tender, bracingly honest memoir explores how Jenny, a young widow, navigates the sudden loss of Tris, her beloved spouse of eighteen years.

With Tris gone, Jenny suddenly finds herself a single mom to a teen daughter and adult stepson. The newly splintered family finds ways to celebrate “milestone firsts” —including birthdays and other holidays that, without Tris, now feel hollow and bittersweet. Jenny finds herself drawn to new people, including other widows and psychic mediums, and becoming open to different kinds of connections based on sharing and spirituality. She also embarks on a halting quest for new romantic love. Initially, as she endures awkward first dates and unpleasant interactions with self-proclaimed “nice guys,” she resists her new reality —but over time, she finds someone unexpectedly comforting, blending the pain of loss with the pleasure of closeness. For readers who have also lost a loved one, The Good Widow offers both a comforting guide to grief and a form of companionship; for everyone, it’s a beautiful example of how even after death, love endures.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781647421496
Publisher:	She Writes Press
Publication date:	08/10/2021
Pages:	176
Sales rank:	1,143,617
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x (d)

About the Author

Jennifer Katz was born and raised in South Florida along with a twin brother, a younger sister, and a toy poodle named Muffin. At age twenty-five, she earned her degree in clinical psychology and met Tristram Smith at a job interview. After she was hired, they became friends, and then more. Jenny and Tris married and moved to upstate New York with a son. Widowed at age forty-five, Jenny now lives with her teen daughter. She loves reading, yoga, musical theater, and broccoli. An award-winning professor, she teaches about gender, sexuality, and helping relationships. This is her first book.

Table of Contents

Preface xi

Introduction (The Feminist Widow) xv

Part I Contracting in Pain

The End 3

The Saddest Thing 14

Dreams and Destruction 18

Bone Cold 21

Love Letter Number One 23

Shell 24

Emptiness/Spaciousness 31

Letter to Grief 34

Viability 36

Almost Normal 38

Reflecting on Pain 41

Part II Expanding in Love

Valentine's Day 45

The Medium Place 51

The Medium 58

Love Letter Number Two 65

Camp Widow, Part One-Alone, Together 67

Camp Widow, Part Two-All the Feelings 72

Camp Widow, Part Three-The End 78

Birthday Letter 81

Mother's Day 84

DNA 87

Tend and Befriend 91

Reflecting on Love 94

Part III Halting Steps Forward

Release 97

How to Date a Widow 104

Mr. Nice Guy 107

Love Letter Number Three 120

The First Second Date 122

Dessert 125

Green Light 129

A Full and Happy Life 133

Tenderness 136

Dualities 140

Reflecting on Hope 142

Conclusion-All You Need 143

Afterword 146

Acknowledgements 147

About the Author 149

Editorial Reviews

2021 Indies Foreword Finalist in Grief/Grieving

“A heartbreaking memoir about love, loss, and a transition into widowhood.”
—Foreword Reviews

“...in this finely wrought memoir, readers….journey through pain to a hopeful future. An eloquent portrait of a grieving process”
—Kirkus Reviews

“Katz captures sudden widowhood in all of its life-shattering, disorientating truth, honestly and vulnerably chronicling the fight that the grieving must wage to settle into this new identity no one ever asked for.”
—Leslie Gray Streeter, author of Black Widow: A Sad-Funny Journey Through Grief for People Who Normally Avoid Books with Words Like “Journey” in the Title

“In this beautifully written memoir, Katz captures the experience of loss and grief in a deeply touching and vulnerable way. Katz does not only focus on the grief experience but also, perhaps drawing on her psychology expertise, teaches the reader so much about what it means to be in, and then look for again, a healthy relationship through courage and honesty.”
—Joanne Davila, PhD, professor of psychology and author of The Thinking Girl's Guide to the Right Guy: How Knowing Yourself Can Help You Navigate Dating, Hookups, and Love

“Jennifer Katz is a psychology professor who has written a wonderful, thoughtful book. I was moved by her account of her personal experiences after her husband had died, as well as her interactions with her children. Her memoir provides perspectives about love, loss, and hope.”
—Margaret Matlin, PhD, Distinguished Teaching Professor of Psychology Emerita and author of The Psychology of Women

“In this moving and deeply personal narrative chronicling her transition into widowhood, Katz brings us along with her on her amazing journey of self-rediscovery. Part personal narrative and part survival guide for anyone experiencing the transformative loss of one dearly beloved, The Good Widow is filled with wit and wisdom, grief and celebration. Savor this book. You will gain a new perspective on loss, love, marriage, widowhood, parenthood, and just being human.”
—Catherine Johnson Adams, PhD, coauthor of Love of Freedom: Black Women in Colonial and Revolutionary New England

“[Katz's] memoir sharing the universal human experience of grief will resonate with all readers, even those who have yet to experience such devastating loss . . . a candid, courageous memoir.”
—BlueInk Review, STARRED

From the Publisher