The Price of Nice: Why Comfort Keeps Us Stuck and 4 Actions for Real Change

by Amira Barger

Overview

“What’s wrong with nice?!” A simple and powerful question. It demands we interrogate the unspoken rules that shape our lives, often without our realizing it.

“It costs nothing to be nice!” What a travesty of logic. Niceness is not free—it comes at a steep price. It’s a velvet glove over an iron fist, stifling dissent, prioritizing comfort over progress, and conditioning us to accept the status quo. Niceness is one of the most insidious social constructs, keeping us compliant, silent, and complicit in inequity. If we don’t question it, we stay exactly where power wants us—agreeable, easy to manage, and stuck.

The Price of Nice is about breaking free. Amira Barger deconstructs our cultural obsession with niceness, exposes its hidden costs, and offers a practical framework for real change. With sharp analysis and personal insight, she helps readers disrupt the narratives that keep them stuck and reclaim their power.

Guided by four dimensions rooted in social psychology—think, feel, do, revisit—this book offers immediate, adaptable practices for creating change. Because breaking free isn’t only what you know—it’s what you do next.

If you're tired of “good enough,” this book will challenge you, change you, and call you to more.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9798890571137
Publisher:	Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Publication date:	10/28/2025
Pages:	224
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.63(d)

About the Author

Amira Barger is the award-winning executive vice president of communications and head of DEI advisory at Edelman, one of the largest communications and public relations firms in the world. She is also a professor at California State University, East Bay, teaching marketing, communications, and change management. She holds a BA in marketing from Vanguard University and an MBA from LeTourneau University, and she has received DEI certifications from Cornell University, University of South Florida, and SDS Global Enterprises Inc. She currently resides in Benicia, California.

Editorial Reviews

Fearless and necessary—this book doesn’t just challenge you; it changes you.”
—Van Jones, CNN

“Barger dismantles the myth that niceness equals leadership, making a powerful case for authenticity over appeasement. A must-read for those ready to lead with courage and conviction.”
—Sali Christeson, Founder and CEO, Argent

“This brave, timely book is both a heartfelt invitation to positive change and a stark warning against complacency. Barger demonstrates the true price of ‘nice’ is a tax on human dignity—paid by everyone forced to play the game. For those with the courage to absorb its lessons, the book offers the crucial tools for effective change.”
—Shane Dolgin, former Global Chief Quality Officer, Edelman

“With sharp wit and deep wisdom, Barger breaks down the costs of compliance and shows us how to reclaim our power. It’s an essential read for anyone ready to step into their full leadership potential.”
—Jeni Barrett, VP of Marketing, 50/50 Women on Boards

“Barger exposes what so many of us are afraid to admit: niceness exacts a toll. I can attest: this work is a mirror, a megaphone, and a movement.”
—Lisa Hurley, Founder, The Great Exhale, and author of Space to Exhale

“Clear-eyed and compelling in its practicality, Barger doesn't flinch or pander. This work weaves personal stories and cultural histories to lay bare the price of compliance—a timely call to revive the practice of moral courage in our lives!”
—Anastasia Kārkliņa Gabriel, cultural theorist and author of Cultural Intelligence for Marketers

From the Publisher