Very Nice Ways to Say Very Bad Things: An Unusual Book of Euphemisms

Very Nice Ways to Say Very Bad Things: An Unusual Book of Euphemisms

by Linda Berdoll


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At a loss for words, hockey puck? You can always quote Shakespeare...

Or delve into this entertaining compendium of insults and verbal abuse, all couched in language of the most uplifting nature. Filled with common and not-so-common zingers that will both shock you and make you laugh your @$$! off.


  • Exactly how to address individual mounds of foul, undigested lumps of donkey entrails
  • That "F"-ing word and other intensives
  • Many, many ways to refer to the part that goes over the fence last
  • More euphemisms, synonyms, phrases and descriptions than you knew existed for sexual activities, proclivities, untoward incidents, accidents of nature and the beast with two backs
  • Addressing the mentally incompetent, the cerebrally challenged, the absurdly bureaucratic, the impossibly rational and other instances of ineptitude, obfuscation or obstruction and much more!

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781402208850
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Publication date: 09/28/2007
Pages: 152
Product dimensions: 5.25(w) x 7.00(h) x 0.50(d)

About the Author

Researching her bestselling novels Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife and Darcy & Elizabeth, author Linda Berdoll was surprised and delighted by the euphemisms she turned up--most of them of an insulting nature. Berdoll compiled them here to entertain and enlighten. She lives on a pecan farm in Del Valle, Texas, with her husband.

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1

Censuring the Fool:
The Lost Art of the Insult

Few would argue that some behavior is so abhorrent, it demands redressing. Regardless of justification-idiot drivers, impudent clerks, adolescents who have been spawned by the devil-we as a society simply cannot condone smacking the offender upside the head. (Admittedly, this decision is instituted only partly in deference to decorum, but also to the distinct possibility that said transgressor might be packing heat.) Since throwing the bric-a-brac can become prohibitively expensive, our only alternative is to let fly with a few choice words.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1. Censuring the Fool: The Lost Art of the Insult
Of Hos and Hounds
International Culinary Observations
At a Loss for Words, Hockey Puck? Quote Shakespeare!
Sacre Bleu: Minced Oaths, Profanities and Expletives
The Body and Its Imperfections
Silent Disparagement: The Bird and His Friends
Worshipping at the Shrine of Bacchus

Chapter 2. Indisposition Gastro-Intestinal Disorder
Pussyfooting around the Curse Crawling Creatures
Social Diseases
Foul Emanations
In the Privy
Wring Out One's Socks
Afflicted by Time's Winged Chariot
The Bucket Kick'd

Chapter 3. Bewitched, Bothered and Betwattled
Overborne by Desire
Temporary Priaprism
Humbled in the Act of Love
The Long Carbine
Dallying, Firkytoodling, and Finkdiddling
Bowing at the Altar of Eros
Safe Sex or Sex "Sain et Sauf"
Men Behaving Badly

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