Walking Him Home: Helping My Husband Die with Dignity

by Joanne Tubbs Kelly

Overview

Alan and Joanne marry in midlife and live a happily-ever-after existence until, at sixty-nine, Alan is diagnosed with a rare, fatal, neurodegenerative illness. As he becomes increasingly disabled and dependent on others, and decreasingly able to find joy in life, he decides he wants to end his suffering using Colorado’s Medical Aid in Dying law.

Joanne desperately wants Alan to live, but when he asks for her help completing the Medical Aid in Dying application, she can’t say no. She helps him complete the requirements, hoping deep down that his application will be denied . . . only to be stunned when his medical team approves his request and writes him a prescription for the life-ending drugs.

Told with affection and spiced with humor, Walking Him Home is Joanne’s tale of coming to terms with her kind, funny husband’s illness; of learning to navigate the intricate passageways of caregiving and the pitfalls of our medical system; and of choosing to help Alan in his quest to die with dignity, even though she wants nothing more than to grow old with him. Tender and heartfelt, this is one woman’s story about loving extravagantly—and being loved in kind.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781647420895
Publisher:	She Writes Press
Publication date:	08/09/2022
Pages:	296
Sales rank:	1,051,529
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

As a kid, Joanne Tubbs Kelly moved around a lot, but she always felt at home when she had her nose stuck in a book. As an adult, she provided marketing communications services to high-tech companies. Now that she’s retired, she lives in Boulder in the home she and her husband, now deceased, remodeled from top to bottom. She delights in puttering in her garden and walking and hiking where she can wallow in the beauty of Boulder’s Flatirons and Colorado’s high peaks. Whenever she’s not in her garden or out walking, you can usually find her up to her old tricks: hiding out somewhere with her nose stuck in a book.

Editorial Reviews

An unvarnished account of a loving marriage and medical aid in dying.”
—Kirkus Reviews

“Inherently engaging, emotionally moving, thought-provoking, and memorable, Walking Him Home is a story that lingers long after you've finished reading it. . . . A unique and unreservedly recommended addition to personal, professional, and community library collections.”
—Midwest Book Review

“Walking Him Home is a testament to the depth of human resilience. Faced with a rare, excruciating terminal illness, Kelly’s husband, Alan, resolves to deliver himself from this world—with her help. Heartbreaking, honest, and stirring, Kelly’s memoir will resonate with anyone who has ever lost someone.”
—Anita Hannig, PhD, author of The Day I Die: The Untold Story of Assisted Dying in America

“Joanne Kelly is an accomplished writer, telling the sweet, honest, and engaging end-of-life story of her beloved husband. Walking Him Home lays bare the joy and grief, the sweet rewards, and the unavoidable costs of two people loving each other deeply and well to the end. Kelly does not spare us the frustrations and fears of being caregiver, advocate, and lover, and the poignant events of her husband's passing carry lessons for us all.”
—Barbara Coombs Lee, President Emerita of Compassion & Choices, author of Finish Strong: Putting Your Priorities First at Life’s End, and coauthor of Oregon's Death with Dignity Act

“Joanne Kelly has written a timeless memoir about the joy of midlife romance, the give and take of marriage, the sheer wonder of loving someone completely, and the courage it takes to help your partner say a final good-bye after a terminal illness strikes. Compelling and unforgettable.”
—Pete Earley, author of Pulitzer Prize finalist CRAZY: A Father’s Search Through America’s Mental Health Madness

“This is an exceedingly fluid, informative, and emotional memoir. It’s also an honest exploration of a very important topic.”
—Clay Bonnyman Evans, author of The Trail is the Teacher

“Joanne Tubbs Kelly skillfully narrates an intimate memoir about helping her husband end his life using Colorado’s End-of-Life Options Act. Kelly provides a moving illustration of the ethical tensions at play and makes an important contribution to the conversation on death and dying.”
—Kerry Landsman, medical ethics consultant

“Joanne shares a very personal view on the impossible choices facing patients and families living with, and dying of, serious and progressive neurologic illnesses. There is much here for patients, families, policymakers and healthcare providers to take in and wrestle with in coming to terms with medical aid in dying.”
—Dr. Benzi Kluger, the Julius, Helen, and Robert Fine Distinguished Professor in Neurology at University of Rochester School of Medicine and president of the International Neuropalliative Care Society

“Joanne Tubbs Kelly has written a sweet love story and narrative of the beautiful but difficult journey with her husband, Alan. This story adds to the witnessing that helps us understand MAID as one of the paths to gaining a death that is gentle on us and those around us.”
—Dr. Jean Abbott, retired physician and medical ethicist

From the Publisher

06/17/2022

Kelly opens her memoir by recounting the day her husband of 25 years, Alan, took advantage of Colorado's End-of-Life Options Act, passed in 2016, to end his own life. Kelly then goes back in time to when she and her husband first met. She documents the story of her life with Alan, his diagnosis of multiple system atrophy disease, and the physical and emotional challenges they faced together as his health and quality of life deteriorated. The writing is clear, straightforward, and follows a linear trajectory. Kelly wrote her story because when she was faced with helping her husband carry through with his decision to end his life, she looked for books about people in similar situations. Coming up short, she decided to tell her own story. VERDICT Currently 10 states and the District of Columbia have "medical aid in dying" statutes, and more states have legislation pending. This memoir will undoubtedly provide comfort and support for other people navigating a similar road.—Ragan O'Malley

Library Journal