Benjamin Berkley, J.D. has been a member of the Orange County Bar Association, the local chapter that consists of practicing attorneys in the field of divorce.
Before You Say I Do Again: A Buyer's Beware Guide to Remarriageby Benjamin Berkley
Bookshelves are filled with warm and fuzzy titles authored by psychologists and family counselors. Their message is to teach readers how to listen to each other and improve their relationship. Before You Say I Do Again is not a how-to book to get back together or to stay together. Instead, it takes the gloves off and provides insight on the issues one must/i>
Bookshelves are filled with warm and fuzzy titles authored by psychologists and family counselors. Their message is to teach readers how to listen to each other and improve their relationship. Before You Say I Do Again is not a how-to book to get back together or to stay together. Instead, it takes the gloves off and provides insight on the issues one must consider before walking down the aisle a second time. Tackling a serious subject, but presented in a sometimes whimsical fashion, it puts the brakes on the wedding ceremony and provides the reader with the questions that must be answered before he or she drives down the path of destruction.
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According to Psychology Today, 60% of remarriages fail. What are the reasons? Why do people believe that whatever went wrong the first time won't happen again? Have you gone through a divorce, found a new partner and are considering remarrying? Perhaps you're afraid of making the same mistake twice and are thinking of living together first? Do you wonder if you're doing the right thing? Before You Say I Do, Again answers these important questions, and much more. Written by a divorce attorney with over 30 years of experience, the book is filled with insightful information, practical advice and statistics supported by research studies. Other questions discussed include: Does your new partner have debts that will affect you? Will her/his kids ever like you? Are there any health concerns? Do you know why your previous marriage failed or how you contributed to its destruction? Have you wondered at the legalities of the new marriage? How much are attorney fees? The author points out all the vital questions you should be asking yourself at this important and critical time in your life. Before You Say I Do, Again is divided into 4 parts: Part I takes you back to revisit your first marriage and the reason you're now single; Part II discusses what you'll need to do before remarrying so that you'll be emotionally, financially and legally ready to take the first steps (this section includes a test to help you determine if you're ready); in Part III, the author uses the 'buying a car' analogy to show the importance of 'knowing' before saying 'I do;' finally, Part IV is a compatibility test to determine how your new partner compares to your former spouse. There's also an appendix that provides useful forms such as a testament, a pre-nuptial agreement and an asset organizer. Besides being chock-full of information, author/attorney Benjamin Berkley writes in a simple, light, engaging style, making the reading experience enjoyable. The structure is clear and well organized. Best of all, it is written by someone who really knows what he's talking about. If you or someone in your life is considering remarrying, please do yourself a favour and get a copy of this book. It is definitely an eye opener.
Author Benjamin H. Berkley offers sage advice on entering a second marriage in his new book, Before You Say I Do Again: A Buyer's Beware Guide to Remarriage! Berkley covers the legal, financial, and emotional issues that should be addressed before making marriage vows with a new spouse. In case you have forgotten, Berkley reviews the financial and emotional devastation caused by divorce in the beginning of the book. Debt, dividing property, child support and alimony, custody agreements, rejection and heartbreak are all discussed with words that both encourage and, with the use of humor, frighten the reader into re-evaluating future strolls down the aisle. "Second time brides and grooms may think they know more the second time around but statistics prove they don't (17)." Once he has reminded us of how bad divorce is, the author challenges readers to take the time to be fully single before jumping into another marriage. That entails a review of what went wrong in your first marriage and the role you played in its failure; cutting your emotional ties to your ex; and accepting yourself as a single person at your current age and with your unique set of circumstances. It is a prescription for an emotional cleansing that will make it possible for a mature decision to be made about remarrying. Berkley goes on to note that 60 percent of remarriages end in divorce and cautions readers against deciding to remarry for the wrong reasons. Financial stability, companionship without love, revenge and loneliness are not the right reasons for marrying again. The author uses anecdotes of former clients to illustrate how remarrying for the wrong reasons can go horribly wrong and cause a person more harm than the ending of a first marriage. He offers suggestions for preparing for remarriage from getting one's own financial house in order to learning as much as possible about a future spouse's medical, financial, and family history. As an attorney with experience managing divorce and family law cases as well as other general practice matters, Berkley has written books on disability cases and estate planning. That experience is evident in his current book as he offers legal and emotional counseling in an informal, yet straightforward manner that one would expect to receive from an honest friend. The writing is accessible and flows easily from each topic largely as a result of Berkley's forthright approach. The inclusion of an appendix with samples of a prenuptial agreement, a will, and an asset organizer is a bonus. Before You Say I Do Again is a fantastic tool and worthwhile reading for anyone thinking of remarrying. It might be even better reading for someone stepping into their first marriage. I highly recommend it.
When I read his book "Against My Will," I knew that I wanted to read this book, and I so glad to receive it for review. Having been married before, this book was quite intriguing. After all, I do believe that the majority of people who have been married once want to be married again, and Benjamin Berkley agrees. I love the fact that the author himself is a lawyer who has seen just about every imaginable divorce/remarriage scenario. He also is himself a remarried man--remarried successfully, I might add. Drawing on his experience, he covers practically every topic you can think of. He asks real questions, and he tells real stories. The book is an easy read because the style is so fluid and straightforward. He offers real helps, including a sample pre-nuptial agreement and will in the back of the book. He is not your family nor your friend, so he does not mince words. He tells you the pure, unadulterated truth. While I believe that the information and advice in the book is very sound, I do have one minor point of contention. I realize and understand that the author is coming from a legal standpoint and not a religious perspective (even though he does cover religious issues in the book), but it does bother me that he recommends living together. I suppose I am not used to hearing people encourage others to have sex before getting married and possibly live together. I am glad he points out the potential issues and negative statistics of those living together, but he appears to have no qualms about recommending sex before marriage so you can "sample the goods." Thankfully this is a minor issue in the book, but I would have liked to have seen the flip side of why you shouldn't have sex before getting remarried. And, of course, my faith is going to cause me to see things differently than many. And I'm probably not one to be pointing this out since I nearly went down that road myself, but that is another story. So if you are divorced, I would highly recommend this book to you. That probably means that at least half of my readers are. I especially recommend the book if you are a divorced female because the author gives really sound advice to the single women in particular. I was sent a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. I was not financially compensated, and all opinions are 100 percent mine.
I was annoyed by a preponderance of English language errors in the book. Doesn't someone proof books before they go to press? Yikes! I did like the way Mr. Berkley touched on sensitive subjects that are difficult, yet important, to discuss with a potential spouse. All-in-all, a useful guide for any man or woman looking to remarry for a 2nd, 3rd, etc., time.