Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Must read!

I borrowed this book.

Borderline Personality Disorder is a complex, difficult to deal with and highly undiagnosed mental disease. While the idea of the unstable girlfriend or boyfriend is common enough to be a comedy (and horror) stereotype, this book explores a very real disorder that might be behind the actions. And unlike many books on the topic, it focuses on the supporters, caretakers, or those who have been scarred by the actions of a BPD person.

This book is very clear, easy to read and includes a ton of resources for those struggling to handle the seemingly manipulative and contradictory (and sometimes outright dangerous) behavior of a BPD-afflicted person. Referrals to other books or related topics, online communities and loaded with anecdotes this book is a support itself, and practically screams "We understand. You are not alone." (Which those struggling sometimes need desperately to hear.)

It's not perfect, as it focuses more on identifying and explaining behaviors and the anecdotes mostly center on displaying situational BPD behavior, not on the coping side of the book. But it is a handy, comprehensive addition to mental health libraries or a useful guide for those trying to handle the effects of BPD. In fact this is an excellent place to start in a quest to both understand and recover from the damages that this emotionally crippling disease can cause.

5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

Surrounded by BP & Eggshells

My BP daughter has spent 10 years in therapy, misdiagnosed and mis-medicated. It's not the doctors' fault, this condition is sneaky and age has a part. After so many failed attempts at med-therapy, worsening symptoms, substance abuse and her resistance to behavior therapy, we tested further and found BPD, still with several comorid's. I didn't totally believe it. Since there was no childhood abuse, I found many of the hallmarks not quite fitting. I wondered if we really had the right diagnosis this time. Then I read this book. If I had to rely only on the clinical points, I would say she fit 50-60% but when you read the feelings of people with BP and their families, you see the real deal. I am confident now that our diagnosis is correct and that my mother also has this condition. I have walked on eggshells all my life trying to keep peace and be logical. I am only a few chapters into this book but I can't wait to finish it and get a clue. I even sent a copy of it to another family member so they will understand as well. This has been so enlightening, and appreciated.

3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

Love the title!

Good basic book on BPD, and provides a foundation to understand the various manifestations of this condition.

2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

A must read if you love someone with BPD

This is a must read. I am Anthony Walker, author of The Siren's Dance : My Marriage to a Borderline: A Case Study, a personal memoir of living with someone with BPD. Throughout my relationship I fumbled in a psychological darkness looking for answers in dealing with the difficult behaviors and situations. All the texts available at the time were heavy duty clinical texts and dealt with the condition itself. The book to help the loved ones and partners of the BPD person had not been written. This book is it. It sets out specific easy to understand guidelines, and is particularly strong with regard setting boundaries. Treatment requires not only treatment for the BPD but help for those who love them as well. Well done Mason et al. A. Walker, MD

2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

Life Saving Work

This book has saved the lives of myself and many of my good friends. This book allows NonBPs (those in relationships with someone with borderline personality disorder) to make informed decisions about the future of their relationship with the person having the disorder. No less than three online communities of Nons exist primarily because of this book. These communities consist of hundreds of Nons who have benefited from this work and from interacting with each other. If you know someone who might have borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder, you must read this book and join one of our online communities!

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

A reviewer

For who ever reads this, this is one of the best books i have ever read. it helped me understand how my mother is and how she acts by reading this book i could relate and feel the same things. i could say Hey that happened with me and my mother and could actually relate i could feel the feeling that the writers were writing. please get this book it is well written.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Very Helpful. I had no clue till I read this book. Scary how accurate!

This book is a must for non-BPD, especially if you have no clue about BPD. A friend who was a long term best friend of my BPD recommended this book to me and I will be eternally grateful. I am free (other than having to co-parent with)from my BPD. This book helped me realize that setting MY boundries, being firm, and consistent was the key. How my BPD responded was not my problem. The book is clear, easy to understand and full ofr help, at least it was for me.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

A book of wisdom

I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently involved with someone who has or is suspected to have borderline personality disorder. I did not discover this book until my relationship deteriorated beyond repair. This book helped me thru the emotional roller coaster, and self doubt I was experiencing. It also explained alot of unanswered questions about the behavior of my now ex fiance. I so wish I would have known about this book and this disease. So much pain could have been prevented.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

This book explains so much!!

My relationship with my mother has tormented me for many years. This book has opened up so many doors of knowledge and understanding for me. I have never been able to understand my mother's behavior, because it is usually so illogical. At times she seems perfectly normal and charming, other times she does the most bizarre things that don't even make any sense. She would continually contradict me and even herself! Sometimes I felt that I was losing my mind because I couldn't remember some of the conversations she said we'd had. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has someone in their life who makes them feel this way. There is an explanation!! Better yet, you can learn skills to better deal with this disorder. My relationship with my mother has slowly improved since I read this book.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Bartholomeow

Kits and queens den

Very Highly Recommended, if you know someone suffering with this disorder.

I still haven't made it through the whole book yet - I keep going back and forth in it reviewing and re-reviewing parts of the book for guidance and understanding.

Useful

It was like they had lived my life the past 5 1/2 years

Could be a Game Changer

As a stepmother trying to support my husband in effectively addressing the co-tangled state of his relationship with his teenage daughter and ex-wife (who has bpd), I was deeply moved, energized, and encouraged by the "dead on" information contained within "Walking on Eggshells".

My husband and I have become more educated through some of the extremely accurate (and scary)insights and projections of how dependent children may/will be negatively affected by a mother who has bpd presented in this text. Some of this medically-based data will help in court cases when the non-bpd parent appeals to a family court judge to remove a child from the custody of the bpd parent.

For anyone who has a dependent child within the clasps of a bdp parent, this is a MUST read to learn more about the bpd's MO and harmful behaviors towards the child, some useful techniques on how to help the child cope, but, as importantly, the crucial imperative to physically remove the child from the bpd's control and influence.

I highly recommend this book to parents, teenage children and older, and anyone who has a bpd in their life.

Very helpful

I haven't finished this book yet, but so far it is very informative. It explains the many mood swings, etc. that I have been living with for so many years. It has made me realize that the person with BPD has the issues, not me. I can't wait to finish the book!

Wife of BP

My sister-in-law recommended this book. She was also reading it. Because my husband her brother' has BP. Took me years to actually know what was going on with him, i was tired of walking on eggshells for years. By reading this book it has helped me to help him thru what he is going thru. I highly recommend it.

Help for the Rest of Us

I had never heard the term Borderline Personality Disorder before I was referred to this book, but in the first few pages I found a frighteningly accurate description of my wife and her mother, and many of the symptoms rang true for others in my life as well, including my own mother. This book helped me understand the sudden rages, bizarre outbursts and baseless accusations that I was facing on a daily basis. Better yet, several effective strategies are provided that helped me regain control over my own life and (to a lesser degree) our household. If you think you are involved with, or related to, someone who suffers from this under-diagnosed disorder, this book is a must-read.

Great Insight into Understnding Personality Disorders

I highly recommend this book as means to understanding the behavior of those with borderline personality disorders. I always knew my husband's behavior and angry outbursts were different but couldn't put a name to it or what triggered them. This book enabled me to have a better understanding of the disorder and how to not to 'buy into' the behavior.

Excellent book

I have recommended this book to client's who have reported it helpful. This book is very easy to understand and non-technical. A must read for anyone who is involved with someone with BPD traits.

Everything Became So Clear!

I read this book three times and it truly help me understand my partner and why she behaved as she did. I also learned that I had to stop giving in to her and set limits. I learned from the book that I was encouraging her angry and violent outbursts by accepting them. I am glad I read this book.

Worth a look.

This book by New Harbinger offers the reader lots of information on BPD. If you suffer from back pain, I recommend their back pain book "The Multifidus Back Pain Solution."