Bisexual Men Exist: A Handbook for Bisexual, Pansexual and M-Spec Men

by Vaneet Mehta

Overview

SHORTLISTED FOR 2024 BISEXUAL NON-FICTION LAMMY AWARD

"You're just being greedy."
"Are you sure you're not gay?"
"Pick a side."

Being a bisexual man isn't easy - something Vaneet Mehta knows all too well. After spending more than a decade figuring out his identity, Vaneet's coming out was met with questioning, ridicule and erasure. This experience inspired Vaneet to create the viral #BisexualMenExist campaign, combatting the hate and scepticism m-spec (multi-gender attracted spectrum) men encounter, and helping others who felt similarly alone and trapped.

This powerful book is an extension of that fight. Navigating a range of topics, including coming out, dating, relationships and health, Vaneet shares his own lived experience as well as personal stories from others in the community to help validate and uplift other bisexual men. Discussing the treatment of m-spec men in LGBTQ+ places, breaking down stereotypes and highlighting the importance of representation and education, this empowering book is a rallying call for m-spec men everywhere.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781787757196
Publisher:	Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Publication date:	01/19/2023
Pages:	256
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Vaneet Mehta (He/Him) is an Indian bisexual man born and raised in Southall, West London. He is a software engineer, writer and public speaker and the founder of #BisexualMenExist, which went viral in 2020. He has appeared on numerous panels and delivered talks to various companies. He has written for Men's Health, Stonewall, GMFA, Metro UK, OutLife and Unicorn Magazine and his work has been published in The Bi-ble: New Testimonials, The Ampersand Project and The Sex Agenda. Bisexual Men Exist is his first book.

Table of Contents

Introduction 9

Ch 1 Representation and Education 14

Ch 2 Coming Out 41

Ch 3 Dating and Relationships 75

Ch.4 Health 102

Mental Health 104

Sexual Health 119

The Health of M-spec Men 146

Ch 5 Intersectionality 148

M-spec and Trans 151

M-spec and People of Colour (POC) 167

M-spec and A-spec 184

The Importance of Intersectionality 196

Ch 6 Pride 199

Epilogue 222

Acknowledgements 224

References 228

Index 246

Editorial Reviews

When it comes to promoting bisexual visibility and championing m-spec causes, Vaneet is absolutely relentless-and I say this with the utmost respect. He has made it his life's mission to advocate for people attracted to multiple genders, and does so in Bisexual Men Exist through a researched, educational, intersectional, and inclusive lens.

Zachary Zane

An accessible encyclopaedia of bi+ issues, this important book amplifies the voices and experiences of those on the multi-gender attracted spectrum who are too often overlooked or erased.

Perfect for anyone who wants to learn the language of bi+ community and scholarship, and concepts that can help them navigate their own sexual identities.

Dr Julia Shaw

In this book, Vaneet Mehta has created an important resource for m-spec men. Through data, interviews, and personal accounts, he describes how institutional m-spec phobia reflects in the personal lives of m-spec men, and offers practical advice on navigating these issues. Of particular importance are the parts in the book dedicated to sexual violence against m-spec men, m-spec men's health, and the intersections in the lives of m-spec men of color, trans, and asexual m-spec men. Whether you're an m-spec man looking for support or an ally looking to learn more, this book has much to offer.

Shiri Eisner

A beautiful, insightful book. Extremely well researched and packed with up to date information, it provides a thorough overview of how it is to be multi-gender attracted today. This is brought to life through a rich range of experiences shared by the author himself, and by the people he spoke with, attending carefully to intersecting identities such as race, disability and transness. Vaneet Mehta is exactly the supportive friend you need to guide you through questions of coming out, forming relationships, finding community, and much more.

Meg-John Barker

The book I wish I had read when I was beginning to recognize my own bisexuality. It is comprehensive in scope but straightforward and fun to read, full of real-life examples and insights from actual bisexual men - who really do exist!

Robert Brooks Cohen