Dear Mom, I'm sorry

This is it. Here it is. The spiral out of control. I knew it was coming. I just didn't know when. I hear the music of impending doom playing in my mind. The darkness is returning. Mean, destructive and unsafe behavior is on its way. Shame, humiliation and hate will soon follow. And to top it all off, regret, embarrassment and disappointment will pile on top of me until I can no longer get out of bed.