You can go after the job you want—and get it!
You can take the job you have—and improve it!
You can take any situation—and make it work for you!
Dale Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. One of the most groundbreaking and timeless bestsellers of all time, How to Win Friends & Influence People will teach you:
-Six ways to make people like you
-Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking
-Nine ways to change people without arousing resentment
And much more! Achieve your maximum potential—a must-read for the twenty-first century with more than 15 million copies sold!
|Publisher:||Simon & Schuster Adult Publishing Group|
|Product dimensions:||4.10(w) x 6.90(h) x 1.10(d)|
About the Author
Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) described himself as a "simple country boy" from Missouri but was also a pioneer of the self-improvement genre. Since the 1936 publication of his first book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, he has touched millions of readers and his classic works continue to impact lives to this day.
Read an Excerpt
How This Book Was Written -- And Why
by Dale Carnegie
During the first thirty-five years of the twentieth century, the publishing houses of America printed more than a fifth of a million different books. Most of them were deadly dull, and many were financial failures. "Many," did 1 say? The president of one of the largest publishing houses in the world confessed to me that his company, after seventy-five years of publishing experience, still lost money on seven out of every eight books it published.
Why, then, did I have the temerity to write another book? And, after I had written it, why should you bother to read it?
Fair questions, both; and I'll try to answer them. I have, since 1912, been conducting educational courses for business and professional men and women in New York. At first, I conducted courses in public speaking only -- courses designed to train adults, by actual experience, to think on their feet and express their ideas with more clarity, more effectiveness and more poise, both in business interviews and before groups.
But gradually, as the seasons passed, 1 realized that as sorely as these adults needed training in effective speaking, they needed still more training in the fine art of getting along with people in everyday business and social contacts.
I also gradually realized that I was sorely in need of such training myself. As I look back across the years, I am appalled at my own frequent lack of finesse and understanding. How I wish a book such as this had been placed in my hands twenty years ago! What a priceless boon it would have been.
Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you are inbusiness. Yes, and that is also true if you are a housewife, architect or engineer. Research done a few years ago under the auspices of the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching uncovered a most important and significant fact -- a fact later confirmed by additional studies made at the Carnegie Institute of Technology. These investigations revealed that even in such technical lines as engineering, about 15 percent of one's financial success is due to one's technical knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering - -- to personality and the ability to lead people.
For many years, I conducted courses each season at the Engineers' Club of Philadelphia, and also courses for the New York Chapter of the American Institute of Electrical Engineers. A total of probably more than fifteen hundred engineers have passed through my classes. They came to me because they had finally realized, after years of observation and experience, that the highest-paid personnel in engineering are frequently not those who know the most about engineering. One can, for example, hire mere technical ability in engineering, accountancy, architecture or any other profession at nominal salaries. But the person who has technical knowledge plus the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people -- that person is headed for higher earning power.
In the heyday of his activity, John D. Rockefeller said that "the ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee. And I will pay more for that ability," said John D., "than for any other under the sun."
Wouldn't you suppose that every college in the land would conduct courses to develop the highest-priced ability under the sun? But if there is just one practical, common-sense course of that kind given for adults in even one college in the land, it has escaped my attention up to the present writing.
The University of Chicago and the United Y.M.C.A. Schools conducted a survey to determine what adults want to study.
That survey cost $25,000 and took two years. The last part of the survey was made in Meriden, Connecticut. It had been chosen as a typical American town. Every adult in Meriden was interviewed and requested to answer 156 questions -- questions such as "What is your business or profession? Your education? How doyou spend your spare time? What is your income? Your hobbies? Your ambitions? Your problems? What subjects are you most interested in studying?" And so on. That survey revealed that health is the prime interest of adults -- and that their second interest is people; how to understand and get along with people; how to make people like you; and how to win others to your way of thinking.
So the committee conducting this survey resolved to conduct such a course for adults in Meriden. They searched diligently for a practical textbook on the subject and found -- not one. Finally they approached one of the world's outstanding authorities on adult education and asked him if he knew of any book that met the needs of this group. "No," he replied, "I know what those adults want. But the book they need has never been written."
I knew from experience that this statement was true, for I myself had been searching for years to discover a practical, working handbook on human relations.
Since no such book existed, I have tried to write one for use in my own courses. And here it is. I hope you like it.
In preparation for this book, I read everything that I could find on the subject -- everything from newspaper columns, magazine articles, records of the family courts, the writings of the old philosophers and the new psychologists. In addition, I hired a trained researcher to spend one and a half years in various libraries reading everything 1 had missed, plowing through erudite tomes on psychology, poring over hundreds of magazine articles, searching through countless biographies, trying to ascertain how the great leaders of all ages had dealt with people. We read their biographies. We read the life stories of all great leaders from Julius Caesar to Thomas Edison. I recall that we read over one hundred biographies of Theodore Roosevelt alone. We were determined to spare no time, no expense, to discover every practical idea that anyone had ever used throughout the ages for winning friends and influencing people.
I personally interviewed scores of successful people, some of them world-famous -- inventors like Marconi and Edison; political leaders like Franklin D. Roosevelt and James Farley; business leaders like Owen D. Young; movie stars like Clark Gable and Mary Pickford; and explorers like Martin Johnson -- and tried to discover the techniques they used in human relations.
From all this material, I prepared a short talk. I called it "How to Win Friends and Influence People." I say "short." It was short in the beginning, but it soon expanded to a lecture that consumed one hour and thirty minutes. For years, I gave this talk each season to the adults in the Carnegie Institute courses in New York.
I gave the talk and urged the listeners to go out and test it in their business and social contacts, and then come back to class and speak about their experiences and the results they had achieved. What an interesting assignment! These men and women, hungry for selfimprovement, were fascinated by the idea of working in a new kind of laboratory -- the first and only laboratory of human relationships for adults that had ever existed.
This book wasn't written in the usual sense of the word. It grew as a child grows. It grew and developed out of that laboratory, out of the experiences of thousands of adults.
Years ago, we started with a set of rules printed on a card no larger than a postcard. The next season we printed a larger card, then a leaflet, then a series of booklets, each one expanding in size and scope. After fifteen years of experiment and research came this book.
The rules we have set down here are not mere theories or guesswork. They work like magic. Incredible as it sounds, I have seen the application of these principles literally revolutionize the lives of many people.
To illustrate: A man with 314 employees joined one of these courses. For years, he had driven and criticized and condemned his employees without stint or discretion. Kindness, words of appreciation and encouragement were alien to his lips. After studying the principles discussed in this book, this employer sharply altered his philosophy of life. His organization is now inspired with a new loyalty, a new enthusiasm, a new spirit of teamwork. Three hundred and fourteen enemies have been turned into 314 friends. As he proudly said in a speech before the class: "When I used to walk through my establishment, no one greeted me. My employees actually looked the other way when they saw me approaching. But now they are all my friends and even the janitor calls me by my first name."
This employer gained more profit, more leisure and -- what is infinitely more important -- he found far more happiness in his business and in his home.
Countless numbers of salespeople have sharply increased their sales by the use of these principles. Many have opened up new accounts -- accounts that they had formerly solicited in vain. Executives have been given increased authority, increased pay. One executive reported a large increase in salary because he applied these truths. Another, an executive in the Philadelphia Gas Works Company, was slated for demotion when he was sixty-five because of his belligerence, because of his inability to lead people skillfully. This training not only saved him from the demotion but brought him a promotion with increased pay.
On innumerable occasions, spouses attending the banquet given at the end of the course have told me that their homes have been much happier since their husbands or wives started this training.
People are frequently astonished at the new results they achieve. It all seems like magic. In some cases, in their enthusiasm, they have telephoned me at my home on Sundays because they couldn't wait forty-eight hours to report their achievements at the regular session of the course.
One man was so stirred by a talk on these principles that he sat far into the night discussing them with other members of the class. At three o'clock in the morning, the others went home. But he was so shaken by a realization of his own mistakes, so inspired by the vista of a new and richer world opening before him, that he was unable to sleep. He didn't sleep that night or the next day or the next night.
Who was he? A naive, untrained individual ready to gush over any new theory that came along? No. Far from it. He was a sophisticated, blase dealer in art, very much the man about town, who spoke three languages fluently and was a graduate of two European universities.
While writing this chapter, I received a letter from a German of the old school, an aristocrat whose forebears had served for generations as professional army officers under the Hohenzollerns. His letter, written from a transatlantic steamer, telling about the application of these principles, rose almost to a religious fervor.
Another man, an old New Yorker, a Harvard graduate, a wealthy man, the owner of a large carpet factory, declared he had learned more in fourteen weeks through this system of training about the fine art of influencing people than he had learned about the same subject during his four years in college. Absurd? Laughable? Fantastic? Of course, you are privileged to dismiss this statement with whatever adjective you wish. I am merely reporting, without comment, a declaration made by a conservative and eminently successful Harvard graduate in a public address to approximately six hundred people at the Yale Club in New York on the evening of Thursday, February 23, 1933.
"Compared to what we ought to be," said the famous Professor William James of Harvard, "compared to what we ought to be, we are only half awake. We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources. Stating the thing broadly, the human individual thus lives far within his limits. He possesses powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use."
Those powers which you "habitually fail to use"! The sole purpose of this book is to help you discover, develop and profit by those dormant and unused assets.
"Education," said Dr. John G. Hibben, former president of Princeton University, "is the ability to meet life's situations."
If by the time you have finished reading the first three chapters of this book -- if you aren't then a little better equipped to meet life's situations, then I shall consider this book to be a total failure so far as you are concerned. For "the great aim of education," said Herbert Spencer, "is not knowledge but action."
And this is an action book.
DALE CARNEGIE, 1936Copyright © 1936 by Dale Carnegie, copyright renewed 1964 by Donna Dale Carnegie and Dorothy Carnegie
Revised edition copyright © 1981 by Donna Dale Carnegie and Dorothy Carnegie
Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of This Book
1. If you wish to get the most out of this book, there is one indispensable requirement, one essential infinitely more important than any rule or technique. Unless you have this one fundamental requisite, a thousand rules on how to study will avail little. And if you do have this cardinal endowment, then you can achieve wonders without reading any suggestions for getting the most out of a book.
What is this magic requirement? Just this: a deep, driving desire to learn, a vigorous determination to increase your ability to deal with people.
How can you develop such an urge? By constantly reminding yourself how important these principles are to you. Picture to yourself how their mastery will aid you in leading a richer, fuller, happier and more fulfilling life. Say to yourself over and over: "My popularity, my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my skill in dealing with people."
2. Read each chapter rapidly at first to get a bird's-eye view of it. You will probably be tempted then to rush on to the next one. But don't -- unless you are reading merely for entertainment. But if you are reading because you want to increase your skill in human relations, then go back and reread each chapter thoroughly. In the long run, this will mean saving time and getting results.
3. Stop frequently in your reading to think over what you are reading. Ask yourself just how and when you can apply each suggestion.
4. Read with a crayon, pencil, pen, magic marker or highlighter in your hand. When you come across a suggestion that you feel you can use, draw a line beside it. If it is a four-star suggestion, then underscore every sentence or highlight it, or mark it with "****." Marking and underscoring a book makes it more interesting, and far easier to review rapidly.
5. I knew a woman who had been office manager for a large insurance concern for fifteen years. Every month, she read all the insurance contracts her company had issued that month. Yes, she read many of the same contracts over month after month, year after year. Why? Because experience had taught her that that was the only way she could keep their provisions clearly in mind.
I once spent almost two years writing a book on public speaking and yet I found I had to keep going back over it from time to time in order to remember what I had written in my own book. The rapidity with which we forget is astonishing.
So, if you want to get a real, lasting benefit out of this book, don't imagine that skimming through it once will suffice. After reading it thoroughly, you ought to spend a few hours reviewing it every month. Keep it on your desk in front of you every day. Glance through it often. Keep constantly impressing yourself with the rich possibilities for improvement that still lie in the offing. Remember that the use of these principles can be made habitual only by a constant and vigorous campaign of review and application. There is no other way.
6. Bernard Shaw once remarked: "If you teach a man anything, he will never learn." Shaw was right. Learning is an active process. We learn by doing. So, if you desire to master the principles you are studying in this book, do something about them. Apply these rules at every opportunity. If you don't you will forget them quickly. Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.
You will probably find it difficult to apply these suggestions all the time. I know because I wrote the book, and yet frequently I found it difficult to apply everything 1 advocated. For example, when you are displeased, it is much easier to criticize and condemn than it is to try to understand the other person's viewpoint. It is frequently easier to find fault than to find praise. It is more natural to talk about what you want than to talk about what the other person wants. And so on. So, as you read this book, remember that you are not merely trying to acquire information. You are attempting to form new habits. Ah yes, you are attempting a new way of life. That will require time and persistence and daily application.
So refer to these pages often. Regard this as a working handbook on human relations; and whenever you are confronted with some specific problem -- such as handling a child, winning your spouse to your way of thinking, or satisfying an irritated customer -- hesitate about doing the natural thing, the impulsive thing. This is usually wrong. Instead, turn to these pages and review the paragraphs you have underscored. Then try these new ways and watch them achieve magic for you.
7. Offer your spouse, your child or some business associate a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating a certain principle. Make a lively game out of mastering these rules.
8. The president of an important Wall Street bank once described, in a talk before one of my classes, a highly efficient system he used for self-improvement. This man had little formal schooling; yet he had become one of the most important financiers in America, and he confessed that he owed most of his success to the constant application of his homemade system. This is what he does. I'll put it in his own words as accurately as I can remember.
"For years I have kept an engagement book showing all the appointments I had during the day. My family never made any plans for me on Saturday night, for the family knew that I devoted a part of each Saturday evening to the illuminating process of self-examination and review and appraisal. After dinner I went off by myself, opened my engagement book, and thought over all the interviews, discussions and meetings that had taken place during the week. I asked myself:
" 'What mistakes did I make that time?'
" 'What did 1 do that was right -- and in what way could I have improved my performance?'
" 'What lessons can I learn from that experience?'
"I often found that this weekly review made me very unhappy. I was frequently astonished at my own blunders. Of course, as the years passed, these blunders became less frequent. Sometimes I was inclined to pat myself on the back a little after one of these sessions. This system of self-analysis, self-education, continued year after year, did more for me than any other one thing I have ever attempted.
"It helped me improve my ability to make decisions -- and it aided me enormously in all my contacts with people. I cannot recommend it too highly."
Why not use a similar system to check up on your application of the principles discussed in this book? If you do, two things will result.
First, you will find yourself engaged in an educational process that is both intriguing and priceless.
Second, you will find that your ability to meet and deal with people will grow enormously.
9. You will find at the end of this book several blank pages on which you should record your triumphs in the application of these principles. Be specific. Give names, dates, results. Keeping such a record will inspire you to greater efforts; and how fascinating these entries will be when you chance upon them some evening years from now!
In order to get the most out of this book:
a. Develop a deep, driving desire to master the principles of human relations.Copyright © 1936 by Dale Carnegie, copyright renewed 1964 by Donna Dale Carnegie and Dorothy Carnegie
b. Read each chapter twice before going on to the next one.
c. As you read, stop frequently to ask yourself how you can apply each suggestion.
d. Underscore each important idea.
e. Review this book each month.
f. Apply these principles at every opportunity. Use this volume as a working handbook to help you solve your daily problems.
g. Make a lively game out of your learning by offering some friend a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating one of these principles.
h. Check up each week on the progress you are making. Ask yourself what mistakes you have made, what improvement, what lessons you have learned for the future.
i. Keep notes in the back of this book showing how and when you have applied these principles.
Revised edition copyright © 1981 by Donna Dale Carnegie and Dorothy Carnegie
Table of Contents
Preface to Revised Edition by Dorothy Carnegie
How This Book Was Written -- And Why by Dale Carnegie
Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of This Book
1 "If You Want to Gather Honey, Don't Kick Over the Beehive"
2 The Big Secret of Dealing with People
3 "He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way"
Six Ways to Make People Like You
1 Do This and You'll Be Welcome Anywhere
2 A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression
3 If You Don't Do This. You Are Headed for Trouble
4 An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist
5 How to Interest People
6 How to Make People Like You Instantly
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
1 You Can't Win an Argument
2 A Sure Way of Making Enemies -- And How to Avoid It
3 If You're Wrong, Admit It
4 A Drop of Honey
5 The Secret of Socrates
6 The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints
7 How to Get Cooperation
8 A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You
9 What Everybody Wants
10 An Appeal That Everybody Likes
11 The Movies Do It. TV Does It. Why Don't You Do It?
12 When Nothing Else Works, Try This
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
1 If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin
2 How to Criticize -- And Not Be Hated for It
3 Talk About Your Own Mistakes First
4 No One Likes to Take Orders
5 Let the Other Person Save Face
6 How to Spur People On to Success
7 Give a Dog a Good Name
8 Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct
9 Making People Glad to Do What You Want
A Shortcut toDistinction by Lowell Thomas
The Dale Carnegie Courses
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
You've probably heard about this book, as it's one of those titles that have become part of the cultural lexicon (like CATCH-22). Written in 1936, it is based on courses in public speaking that had been taught in adult education courses by Dale Carnegie since 1912 (and to put to rest a popular assumption, he was no relation to the magnate Andrew Carnegie). It is an unusual little book, written in a highly personalized, colloquial style that is reminiscent of a great lecture. This book was designed with professionals in mind, and designed to help professional people do better in business by helping them make social contacts and improve their speaking skills. It was also written with a certain...earnestness in mind. Carnegie was a big believer in sincerity when it came to dealing with other people. The only other modern book that does the same is "Emotional Intelligence 2.0" and I highly recommend both.
Posted 6/15/2009: In 1968, I was in the Seattle Airport waiting to go to Alaska to work in the oil field. I was 21 year old, had two children in Texas. I had a high school education, which is still the only formal education me or my wife have every received. I was broke and my only prospects were working in the oil field the rest of my life. I bought two books that day that changed my life. Think and Grow Rich; and How to Win Friends and Influence People. Over the next year working in weather down to 70 below zero my life changed from the information I received from these two books. I was no longer on a road to nowhere. I had a goal. We goal now was to have a well round life and become a millionaire. I am 62 years old now. My Net Worth is around 10 million dollars. I am currently an investor. I owe three companies that others run for me. I own the real estate that these companies sat on. My office is in my home. I average working about one hour a day before I go to the golf course. My wife works about an hour per day at her office in our house. We choose to spend that time checking on our businesses. My wife plays tennis most every day. We vacation 6 or 8 times a year. We have been married 43 years. Our family life is great. Last week we took our children and grand children to Disney World for a week. Life for us is very very good. If I had stayed on the path I was headed in, I would be lucky to be alive. Working in the oil field in Alaska's North Slope was very dangerous. My family life was not all that good when I read these two books. I encourage you to read these two books at least three times each and apply the principles they give you. These books changed my life to one of great happiness and prosperity. I hope they do the same for you.
A classic (originally published in the 30's) and a must-have, this timeless piece of work can help just about anybody get along better with others and win them over to their way of thinking. Don't have a lot of time to spare? Don't worry. The book is divided into short sections, each one devoted to a particular principle that is well illustrated with many practical examples. In this way, you can read a chapter quickly, stop and do other things you have to do if necessary, and get back to the book when you have time- all without losing continuity.
Thoroughly entertaining by using fun and interesting examples, I don't think many readers will regret checking this one out and I like to think of this book as a kind of Human Relations 101 of sorts. Also recommend The Sixty-Second Motivator for further reading on motivational principles.
This is a good book but unfortunately it's been hacked up by some modern day idiots who thought they could improve it. First of all, they've added in all the annoying, politically correct 'he or she', 'him or her' nonsense. As if that wasn't bad enough, they've replaced whole paragraphs in the book with new material, in order to make it 'more relevant'. You know what, if a book is well written and intelligent it doesn't matter if it was written 50 or a 100 or a 1000 years ago. The readers will still understand it and its message will still shine through. I don't care if Carnegie told stories of people who are long dead, because basic human nature was the same then as it is now. Carnegie was an excellent writer. His work should be left as he intended it. Anyway, if you can get the original copy of this book I would definitely recommend it because it offers good insights into human behavior.
I was always curious about this famous book, and it was all I thought it would be and more. It contais valuable advice about human nature and how to deal with people in all kinds of situations. It also has wonderful real-life stories about how people's lives were changed by, for example, a simple word of encouragement. I'd highly recommend the CD instead of the book. The reader's voice will warm your heart. Just lie on the couch and enjoy!
This changed my thinking.
Well written and easy to understand. A must read book for high schoolers, managers, bosses and anyone working with people.
Most self help books and "How Tos" are not very reputable and seem to reiterate what people already know through common sense. How to Win Friends and Influence People not only provides readers with common sense applications but introduces new, forward thinking ideas. Every principle provided in the book is explained, and proven with a multitude of examples. The examples range from Carnegie's personal stories to interesting historical tidbits the author found writing autobiographies and other texts. Readers are not fooled into thinking that by reading the book their lives will transform over night. The author makes it abundantly clear that for his teachings to work one must have, "a deep, driving desire to master the principles." and basically refer to the readings regularly. The book at first may seem tedious because of the overwhelming amount of stories that support each principle but I found that even the examples that were not particularly interesting or not completely applicable to my life were important when reflecting upon the text. The book was interesting and enjoyable to read. All of the points had validity and made sense. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in refining their social interactions at work, school, or home.
This book will help you become a sophisticated person!
a must read for anyone wanting to improve relationships, both for personal and business life.
A very readable book, filled with anecdotes to show the results of following the principles.
Add me im a 13 yr old cheerleader and have long brown hair. NOT A WEIRDO DONT WORRY
This is a book worth reading as you will apply these principles every day.
I would like to give this book an accurate review, however I was sent the complete wrong book. So 1 star it is.
Some good points made that I will use every day. The advice is timeless.
It's being sold by another online retailer for much less. The book, otherwise, is good. I've read parts of the book on someone else's device.
This book was a fast read and very enlightening. The stories in it are heartwarming and thought provoking. I highly recommend it to everyone whether you are a store clerk or someone looking to grow or run a business, the book's message will add value to your relationships.
Amazing Book! Revolutionized my life in many ways, and has taught me many new things. I Truly Recommend it.
I first became familiar with this book since my brother has it in Spanish and I did not read it then. Now as a more mature adult I can really enjoy and admire how it is written. I enjoyed the book so much I finished it in less than a week. As I first purchased it to help me in my future career in the PR industry, as it has been called the PR bible,I have learned so much in how to treat others, and have a more business like sense in doing business with others in general. THIS BOOK IS A MUST READ!!!!
One of the best book I have ever read. It really changes my view point on how to interact with people in terms of their problems, introducing myself to others, and it has in fact help me network with people more online and in-person. It gives great examples of stories of people based on Dale's real life situations or made up short stories that each provide great lessons you can learn. Overall is a book everyone should buy, no matter if you are into business or just a regular person. It will change the way you interact with people, and get yourself out their to become successful in to gaining friends and influencing others, no matter the personality type. For more comments and reviews… http://www.storebit.com/books/how-to-win-friends-influence-people-by-dale-carnegie-paperback/
From sales people to relationships
I won’t waste your time with a rundown of what “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is about. With hundreds of reviews on Amazon, and over 15 million copies sold, and with a very self-explanatory title, I think you get it. For the rare person who may not know what this book is about, here’s a succinct description: in 1930s vernacular prose, Dale Carnegie explains that by appealing to the other person’s highest ideals, remembers the other person’s name, letting the other person do most of the talking, speaking in terms of the other person’s interests, allowing the other person to save face, by “throwing down a challenge,” etc., you can make a friend out of just about anyone. The advice is largely sound, but I think the reader should keep in mind the context within which this book was written. “How to Win Friends and Influence People” was written in the 1930s and was intended primarily as a companion book to Dale Carnegie’s classes on how to be a good salesman. In other words, these techniques work very well in the context of sales and public relations, i.e., in relationships that are not expected to be deep and/or long-lasting. I wouldn’t recommend using these techniques on close personal friends. Doing so may make a person come across as a bit plastic. Also, there is one major point that I think needs to be remembered, but unfortunately is nowhere to be found in “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” During my research of Dale Carnegie’s techniques, I came across the biography Dale Carnegie: The Man Who Influenced Millions by Giles Kemp and Edward Claflin. This book reveals many interesting things such as: the fact that Dale Carnegie grew up poor; he lost part of left index finger when he was a child; he often broke many of the tenets set forth in this book, often forgetting others’ names and often arguing with others, etc. But what I found most interesting was that the last chapter of “How to Win Friends” was to describe those individuals with whom none of Dale Carnegie’s techniques work. In this unpublished chapter, Carnegie wrote that there were people with whom it was impossible to get along. You either need to “divorce them, knock them down, or sue them in court.” Why is this chapter absent from this book, you ask? Well, Dale Carnegie was in the middle of writing this chapter when he was offered a trip to Europe. Rather than complete the last chapter, he decided to take the trip. The uncompleted book was sent off to publishers, and Carnegie shipped off to Europe. Giles Kemp and Edward Claflin say that given the optimistic tone of the rest of “How to Win Friends,” the European trip was perhaps the better choice. Reconciling the unwritten chapter with the rest of this optimistic book would’ve been nearly impossible, they say. Anyway, I think that this unpublished chapter is important to keep in mind. I had to learn the hard way that the unpublished chapter is very true. There are some people with whom it is impossible to get along. When you meet up with such people, and believe me you will, don’t think that you’ve failed Carnegie’s techniques. Instead, remind yourself that you are experiencing exactly what Carnegie describes in that pragmatic, unpublished chapter. And then quickly move on to nicer people!