I Heart Me: The Science of Self-Love

by David R. Hamilton PHD

Overview

How much love do you have for yourself? Not the narcissistic 'Aren't I wonderful' kind of love, but the essential regard for self that empowers you and helps you navigate through life. The type of love that enables you to feel safe and secure in who you are and inspires you to make choices that are good for your authentic self. When scientist David Hamilton realized that his own lack of self-love was sabotaging him in hundreds of subtle ways and more than a handful of major ways, he devised an experiment using himself as the guinea pig. For more than a year David studied the latest research into brain chemistry, neuroscience, and psychotherapeutic and personal development techniques. He realized that self-love was as much about biology as psychology - that self-worth is in our genes, but trained out of us. The biological drive to seek connection with others often leads us to try to be 'someone else' to win love and approval. But the brain can be reprogrammed, and David devised 27 powerful exercises that he tested on himself and presents in the book to help you: • Increase your own level of self-worth • Connect powerfully with your authentic self • Attain a greater sense of happiness and general wellbeing • Create stronger and more real connections with others

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781781801840
Publisher:	Hay House Inc.
Publication date:	02/13/2015
Pages:	264
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Dr David Hamilton worked in the pharmaceutical industry for four years after gaining his PhD. Now a bestselling author, he travels the world offering workshops to help people understand the power of the mind on the body. David also blogs for The Huffington Post. www.drdavidhamilton.com

Table of Contents

List of Exercises xiii

Foreword Anita Moorjani xv

Acknowledgements xix

Introduction xxiii

Part I Where Are You Now?

Chapter 1 The Three Stages of Self-Love 3

Stage 1 'I'm Not Enough' 5

Stage 2 'I've Had Enough' 8

Stage 3 'I Am Enough' 14

The Self-Love Gym 15

You're Only Human 16

Chapter 2 Meet the Parents 19

Our Chemical Blend 20

Self-Worth Contagion 21

How We Learn to Question Our Worth 24

Parents 28

It's Not about Blame 32

Trying to Do What's Best 35

Our Responsibility as Parents 37

Chapter 3 How to Use Your Body to Change How You Feel 41

The Four Components of Emotion 42

Fake It and You'll Make It: The Harvard Power Pose 47

How We Function is Affected by How We Hold Our Body. Fact! 51

Stand as Though You're Enough and Wire Your Brain Networks 53

Love Thy Selfie 56

Chapter 4 Visualization 59

The Three Rules of Mental Practice 60

Neuroplasticity 61

Become a Self-Love Olympian 64

'You Can F**k Your Decimals!' 64

Insight to Wired 70

Part II What Does It Matter?

Chapter 5 Does It Matter If People Like You? 75

Cut Yourself a Little Slack 76

Why We Want People to Like Us 78

Why We're Wired to Connect 79

Why We Shouldn't Compromise Our Authenticity 81

'Mirror, Mirror' 86

Chapter 6 Shame 93

Extract the 'I Am' 94

Four Steps to Shame Resilience 97

Shrink It Down 102

We Can Be Enough without Needing to be Perfect 105

Go Out and Connect as Yourself 106

Chapter 7 Body Image 111

Love the Skin You're In 112

Average Joe or GI Joe? 116

Should You Diet? 119

Four Steps to Feeling Better about Your Body Image 121

Chapter 8 Vulnerability 129

The Power of Vulnerability 132

Open Up, Let Your Guard Down and Let the Magic In 135

Getting Some Leverage 137

At Your Own Pace 139

Chapter 9 The Law of Personal Gravity 143

The Law of Personal Repulsion 145

Life Goes On… 148

Part III You Matter

Chapter 10 Self-Compassion 153

An Antidote to Self-Criticism 155

A Buffer When Things Go Wrong 156

Self-Compassion is Healthy 158

Self-Compassion Strategy 1: Swap a Thought 166

Self-Compassion Strategy 2: Do the Loving- Kindness Meditation 167

Self-Compassion Strategy 3: Listen to Your Inner Buddha 170

Self-Compassion Strategy 4: Strike a Compassion Pose 171

Chapter 11 Forgiveness 175

Forgiving Ourselves 175

Forgiving Others 178

Chapter 12 What Are You Doing for Yourself? 181

What Do You Want? What Do You Need? 182

Take Your Life by the Scruff of the Neck 184

Why It's Not Selfish to Look after Your Own Needs 189

Part IV Where Are You Going?

Chapter 13 Step Up and Step Out 195

Feel the Fear 195

Mind the Gap 197

Interact and Be Kind 203

Leave Your Comfort Zone 204

Chapter 14 The Fourth Stage of Self-Love 207

A Fourth Stage? 209

There's Nothing Inside 210

Tuning In 212

Correlations with Physics 214

We're Made of Love 216

The Dove Miracle 218

Endnote: Because You're Worth It 223

Afterword 225

Notes and References 228

About the Author 233