If the Buddha Married: Creating Enduring Relationships on a Spiritual Path

If the Buddha Married: Creating Enduring Relationships on a Spiritual Path

by Charlotte Kasl

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780140196221
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 05/01/2001
Series: Compass Series
Pages: 272
Sales rank: 385,298
Product dimensions: 5.00(w) x 7.20(h) x 0.50(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D., a practicing therapist and nationally recognized workshop leader for more than 20 years, has had lifelong connections to feminism, Buddhism, Quaker practice, and Reiki healing. The author of several books including Finding Joy, she lives in Lolo, Montana.

Table of Contents

Introductionxvii
Part IThe Spiritual Path to Love
1.Buddhism for Lovers and Partners3
2.Say Hello to Your Beloved: Sufism15
3.Learn to Trust Yourself: The Society of Friends17
4.Explore the Source of an Enduring Bond19
5.Discover the Freedom of Beginner's Mind29
6.Tune In to Yourself, Tune In to Your Lover34
Part III, You, and Us: A Dance in Three Parts
7.Experience the "Us" Place of Relationship: Becoming More Than We Could Be Alone39
8.Experience Living in an "Us" Place42
9.Create More "Us" Consciousness44
10.Feel the Healing Power of Connection50
Part IIILook in Your Own Mirror
11.Recognize the Masks You Wear55
12.Ask Yourself, "Am I Talking About Myself?"58
13.Remember to Ask, "Who Owns the Problem?"60
14.Live in the Center of Your Own Life61
15.Notice the Stories You Tell Yourself63
Part IVThe Daily Practice of Living and Loving
16.Treasure Trust: Keep Agreements with Great Care67
17.Tune In to Your Deeper Motivation70
18."That's Not What I Said": Notice Your Interpretations72
19.Learn to Trust Your Intuition76
20.Of Love and Litter: Dealing with Compulsions in Relationships79
21.Explore Meditation and Psychotherapy84
Part VWhen I Was a Child, I Spoke as a Child: Am I Still Doing It Now?
22.Ask Yourself, "What Age Am I at This Moment?"91
23.Find Out Who Married Whom97
24.Recognize the Value of "Leaving Home"99
25.Explore Levels of Relationships102
26.Level One: Afraid to Be Close, Afraid to Be Separate104
27.Level Two: Sometimes I See You, Sometimes I Don't106
28.Level Three: Knowing Yourself So You Can Know Your Beloved113
29.Level Four: Feeling at Peace with Closeness and Separateness118
30.Level Five: I and Thou--We Are One, We Are Two120
Part VICommunion Is the Purpose of Communication
31.Tune In to the Dance of Sending and Receiving Messages127
32.Remember the Basics of Good Communication128
33.Give No Advice--Well, Most of the Time133
34.Ask for No Advice--Except Sometimes136
35.You Can Defend Yourself Without Being Defensive138
36.Learn the Art of Apology140
37.Rebuild the Bridge: Forgiveness and Letting Go143
Part VIIMake Friends with Conflict
38.The Art of Handling Conflict149
39.Meeting Our Differences: Fight the Good Fight150
40.Practice Conflict Prevention154
41.Recognize Counterfeit Conflicts157
42.Remember, We Are Animals with a Neocortex: Recognize Fight, Flight, and Freeze Reactions160
43.Recognize the Many Faces of Anger164
44.What to Do When You Reach an Impasse175
45.Learn Fair-Fight Rules179
46.Learn to Self-Soothe182
47.More Clarity, More Love: Help a Good Relationship Get Better188
Part VIIIMaking Love with the Beloved
48.Making Love: The Union of Body and Spirit193
49.Sexual High or Sexual Connection: What's the Difference?199
50.Finding Out Why the Fire Has Faded204
51.Deepen Your Sexual Bond207
52.Support Each Other Being Completely Honest210
53.Stay Lovers During the Parenting Years213
54.Understand the True Meaning of Monogamy215
55.What to Do with Attraction to Others217
56.Make Love with a Beginner's Mind221
Part IXI and Thou: Even Good Relationships Can Get Better
57.Keep Your Relationship Dancing227
58.Be Creative Together230
59.Remember, Our Task Is to Expand Our Love--Not to Change Others232
60.Accept Life's Daily Losses235
61.Relationships Need Tending, and Tending Takes Time239
62.Your Loving Relationship Blesses the World241
Recommended Reading245
Resources249

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"We've all heard that mariage can be a spiritual experience; [listening to] this book, you actually believe it." —-Marianne Williamson, bestselling author of A Return to Love

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If the Buddha Married: Creating Enduring Relationships on a Spiritual Path 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 10 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Buddhist ideas can be dry and wordy. Dr. Kasl's book is warm and healing. It's like applied Gibran.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Contrary to what the people at Publisher's Weekly said the author does mention that Buddha was married and had a child and even addresses why we should still apply his thinking to our relationships despite that fact. While it is not a long book, like most books that contain Buddhist thought its not for speed reading. I'm enjoying my slow pace with this one and its helping me gain a lot of understanding.
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