May Cause Side Effects: A Memoir

by Brooke Siem

Overview

An unforgettable memoir about the turmoil of antidepressant withdrawal and the work it takes to unravel the stories we tell ourselves to rationalize our suffering. 

Brooke Siem was among the first generation of minors to be prescribed antidepressants. Initially diagnosed and treated in the wake of her father’s sudden death, this psychiatric intervention sent a message that something was pathologically wrong with her and that the only “fix” was medication. As a teenager, she stepped into the hazy world of antidepressants just at the time when she was forming the foundation of her identity. For the following fifteen years, every situation she faced was seen through the lens of brokenness.

 A decade and a half later, still on the same cocktail of drugs, Brooke found herself hanging halfway out her Manhattan high-rise window, calculating the time it would take to hit the ground. As she looked for breaks in the pedestrian traffic patterns, a thought dawned on her: “I’ve spent half my life—and my entire adult life—on antidepressants. Who might I be without them?”

 Unfurled against a global backdrop, May Cause Side Effects is the gripping story of what happened when, after fifteen years and 32,760 pills, Brooke was faced with a profound choice that plunged her into a year of excruciating antidepressant withdrawal and forced her to rebuild her entire life.

 An illuminating memoir for those who take, prescribe, or are considering psychiatric drugs, May Cause Side Effects is an honest reminder that the road to true happiness is not mapped on a prescription pad. Instead, Brooke’s story reveals the messy reality of how healing begins at the bottomless depth of our suffering, in the deep self-work that pushes us to the edges of who we are.  

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781949481709
Publisher:	Central Recovery Press, LLC
Publication date:	09/06/2022
Pages:	256
Sales rank:	537,485
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.10(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Brooke Siem is a writer and award-winning chef whose work and story has appeared in the Washington Post, Psychology Today, EatingWell magazine, and more. She is a Food Network Chopped Champion and was named one of Zagat’s 30 Under 30. She is also the creator of “Happiness is a Skill,” a newsletter devoted to antidepressant withdrawal education, safe de-prescribing, and the practice of creating happiness. When she’s not writing or cooking, she can be found in Nevada, lounging in the desert sun with her rescue mutt, Bellaroo. 

Say hi at www.brookesiem.com, @brookesiem

Editorial Reviews

2022-09-07
In this memoir, a woman recounts her attempt to live without the antidepressants she relied on for 15 years.

When Siem was a teenager, her father died suddenly, an emotionally catastrophic event that left her dizzied by depression and thoughts of suicide. At the age of 15, she was treated with a powerful cocktail of drugs that included antidepressants, a prescription she would accept until she turned 30. At that point, she had been profoundly medicated for half her life—and the entirety of her adult existence—and yet she still suffered from a deep hopelessness. The author decided to try life without medication and emancipate herself from the “hazy world of antidepressants” against the wishes of her doctor, who unfortunately advised her to make the break cold turkey. Siem not only experienced severe physical withdrawal, but also a terrible emotional fallout, including thoughts of rage and violence. She was compelled to fretfully wonder if it was too little too late, an anxiety poignantly conveyed: “What if the soul is too shattered to scrub? If, over the years, it disintegrates layer by layer until there is nothing left? What then? How do karma or crystals or compassion cleanse something that no longer exists? People always talk about how antidepressants flatten a person, how they push the issues down and dull it away. But people are wrong. I was never numb. I was simply not here.” Siem’s remembrance is as powerfully affecting as it is thoughtful. She relates both the ways in which she became hypersensitive to the clamorous world around her after renouncing the antidepressants—“the drugs were like earmuffs”—but also came to know the summit of euphoria. The author realized, with unflinching clarity, that the drugs were intended for her teenage self, and had become a principal obstacle to her emotional growth. She combines a courageously confessional forthrightness with an impressive intellectual appraisal.

An important, timely, and intelligently rendered recollection about quitting antidepressants.

Kirkus Reviews

"Siem's remembrance is as powerfully affecting as it is thoughtful. She combines a courageously confessional forthrightness with an impressive intellectual appraisal."—Kirkus Reviews

“This is a heart-rending and tender memoir that will start conversations we urgently need to have. It’s moving and important.”—Johann Hari, author of New York Times bestseller Chasing the Scream and international bestseller Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression—and the Unexpected Solutions

"May Cause Side Effects made me weep. It grabs you from the first page and won’t let go. Brooke’s depiction of the fragility and strength of the psyche goes straight to the gut, all at once cutting, wicked, and wise.”—Laura Munson, New York Times bestselling author and founder of Haven Writing Retreats

“Brooke gives voice to a generation of young people medicated unnecessarily for grief and loss. But she is not cowered, and her bravery is an inspiration to all who would like to live more authentically. Hopefully others will learn from her experience to separate themselves from the withdrawal effects caused by coming off antidepressants, and to find a life beyond.”—Mark Horowitz, MBBS, PhD, Clinical Research Fellow in Psychiatry at UniversityCollege London and the National Health Service, England

“A gripping story that inspires us all to go back and find the parts of ourselves we lost along the way—to finally, joyfully become who we really are.”—Amy B. Scher, bestselling author of This Is How I Save My Life

From the Publisher