No Call Too Small

by Oscar Martens

Overview

By the end of the day, a cop must choose between ethics and social death. A camp counsellor, stuck deep in the woods with a small group of boys, only has a few hours before the DTs kick in. Adult children scramble to get the best of what remains of their mother's estate, but funeral plans may be premature. Sandwiched between a depressed mother and a careless father, a young girl must help attract customers to the family business, no matter the cost. On this dark, winding road of stories, there's little choice but to hang on and meet whatever's over the rise head on.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781771681957
Publisher:	Central Avenue Publishing
Publication date:	04/07/2020
Pages:	176
Product dimensions:	5.20(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Oscar Martens has been publishing stories and poems since George Michael carelessly whispered, and believes an entire world can fit inside a fifteen minute story. Many of them have been nominated for notable awards and published in journals such as The Journey Prize Stories, Prairie Fire, Queen's Quarterly, Quarry, The Malahat Review, Event, and Grain.

Oscar lives with his wife in Burnaby, BC, Canada.

Table of Contents

No Call Too Small 1

The Schadenfreude Rail 12

New 25

Behaviour Befitting a Young Man 35

Breaking on the Wheel 49

Capture and Release 60

How Beautiful, How Moving 69

Imagining Milan 80

The Janitor 91

Command Mystique 100

I See a Man 123

Killers are Useful 132

Lake Pinot 141

Editorial Reviews

02/10/2020

Martens’s striking, perceptive debut collection illuminates a range of Canadians in moments of bad luck and dissatisfaction. In the title story, an unnamed Port Moody, B.C., cop, whose face has been disfigured from a dog attack, refuses to wear his prosthetic nose, costing him his relationship and earning him the nickname “The Face.” In “Capture and Release,” Martens drolly sketches a man who prides himself on having built a house on the highest point in Victoria, only to be plagued by daily greetings from a hobo camped nearby and regret for using energy-inefficient glass. In “Breaking on the Wheel,” Bob, owner of a small gas station outside of Winnipeg, attempts to lure customers with a dilapidated Ferris wheel. He forces his daughter, Dana, to continuously ride the wheel with a constant smile to show how much fun she’s having. In “How Beautiful. How Moving,” Bella’s three adult children travel from disparate parts of Canada to ransack her home for possessions while she’s in the hospital; too wrapped up in staking their claims to visit her, they cause Bella to wish she were dead. Martens’s haunting, darkly funny situations, captured in crisp, spare prose, will appeal to fans of George Saunders. (Apr.)

Publishers Weekly

Martens’s striking, perceptive collection illuminates a range of Canadians in moments of bad luck and dissatisfaction. His haunting, darkly funny situations, captured in crisp, spare prose, will appeal to fans of George Saunders.”—Publishers Weekly

“Oscar Martens’s characters hurtle their way toward potential disaster or redemption in these vivid stories of lives burdened by misunderstandings and disappointment, usually self-inflicted. Martens’s strong prose is a pleasure to read, with dark humour and lively storytelling that brings a quirky humanity to his characters.”—Janie Chang, Globe and Mail bestselling author of Dragon Springs Road

“Oscar Martens is the twitchy love child of Tom Waits, Charles Bukowski and Ricky Gervais. These stories are lean, and loaded, and devastatingly true. In just a few pages, Martens throws his readers into the deep end of a swimming pool swarming with sharks, or piranhas, or hungry polar bears – and you, dear reader, have a flesh wound. These short stories read like brilliant, poignant novels. Highly recommended.”—Thomas Trofimuk, author of Waiting for Columbus

From the Publisher

These expertly crafted stories are the perfect read for either a cold night sitting by the fire where one can devour them all at once, or, read over a longer period of time, enjoying one, then reflecting on it before beginning the next.

FreeFall Magazine - Crystal Mackenzie