Plays Well with Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong

by Eric Barker

Overview

AN INSTANT USA TODAY and PUBLISHERS WEEKLY BESTSELLER

From the author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller Barking Up the Wrong Tree comes a cure-all for our increasing emotional distance and loneliness—a smart, surprising, and thoroughly entertaining guide to help build better friendships, reignite love, and get closer to others, whether you’re an extrovert or introvert, socially adept or socially anxious.

Can you judge a book by its cover? 

Is a friend in need truly a friend indeed? 

Does love conquer all? 

Is no man an island? 

In Plays Well with Others, Eric Barker dives into these age-old maxims drawing on science to reveal the truth beyond the conventional wisdom about human relationships. Combining his compelling storytelling and humor, Barker explains what hostage negotiation techniques and marital arguments have in common, how an expert con-man lied his way into a twenty-year professional soccer career, and why those holding views diametrically opposed to our own actually have the potential to become our closest, most trusted friends.

Inside you will learn:

• The two things essential to making friends – and what Dale Carnegie got wrong.
• What creates love, reignites love, and sustains love. (There’s no Build-A-Bear store for a happy marriage but this is close.)
• The ethical and effective way to get your partner to change.
• How social media can actually improve relationships.
• The antidote to loneliness and why what we usually hear doesn’t work.

And so much more. The book is packed with high-five-worthy stories about the greatest female detective to ever live, the most successful liar to ever open his mouth, genius horses, thieving hermits, the perils of perfect memories, and placebos. Leveraging the best evidence available—free of platitudes or magical thinking—Barker analyzes multiple sides of an issue before rendering his verdict. What he’s uncovered is surprising, counterintuitive, and timely—and will change the way you interact in the world and with those around you just when you need it most.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780063050945
Publisher:	HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:	05/10/2022
Pages:	304
Sales rank:	84,562
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Eric Barker is the creator of the blog Barking Up the Wrong Tree, which presents science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life. His work has been mentioned in the New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic Monthly, TIME magazine, The Week, and Business Insider. He is a former Hollywood screenwriter, having worked on projects for Walt Disney Pictures, Twentieth Century Fox, and Revolution Studios. He is a graduate of the University of Pennsylvania and holds an MBA from Boston College and a Master of Fine Arts from UCLA.

Editorial Reviews

03/28/2022

Barker, whose blog and first book are both titled Barking Up the Wrong Tree, tests truisms about relationships, romantic and otherwise, in this well-researched investigation. The author subjects to scientific scrutiny four common maxims on relationships: “don’t judge a book by its cover,” “love conquers all,” “a friend in need is a friend indeed,” and “no man is an island.” Exploring case studies that include a horse who could answer simple math questions using people reading skills, and a woman with near-perfect memory, Barker unravels how perceptions affect human judgment and concludes that people are “bad at reading others.” On love, the author finds that it may not conquer all, but some strategies can make overcoming more likely, such as trying new things as a couple and encouraging “positive growth and improvement.” Barker’s wide-eyed curiosity and intellectual openness (“This is a I had no idea what I was doing so I talked to a lot of people... to get some solid information book”) make him an ideal tour guide. The result is a fascinating, myth-busting look at relationships. (May)

Publishers Weekly

"Reading Plays Well With Others is like having a hard conversation about relationships with your smartest, funniest friend. Eric Barker's wit and explanatory powers shine through every page." — David Epstein, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World

"An entire branch of social science can be summed up in one phrase: Other people matter. From our highest highs to our lowest lows, our relationships to other people determine our happiness and well-being. In this humorous and profound book, Eric Barker distills what we know about how to make our most important relationships flourish. Plays Well With Others will revitalize your life.” — Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of When, Drive, and To Sell Is Human

"Barker’s wide-eyed curiosity and intellectual openness make him an ideal tour guide. The result is a fascinating, myth-busting look at relationships." — Publishers Weekly

“...[a] playful exploration of human relationships...Smart, yet funny, Barker frequently draws from scientifically backed studies, yet the tone is always humorous and conversational.” — Library Journal

From the Publisher

"An entire branch of social science can be summed up in one phrase: Other people matter. From our highest highs to our lowest lows, our relationships to other people determine our happiness and well-being. In this humorous and profound book, Eric Barker distills what we know about how to make our most important relationships flourish. Plays Well With Others will revitalize your life.

Daniel H. Pink

"Reading Plays Well With Others is like having a hard conversation about relationships with your smartest, funniest friend. Eric Barker's wit and explanatory powers shine through every page."

David Epstein

04/01/2022

Self-help blogger Barker follows up his best-seller Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong with this playful exploration of human relationships. The author begins by stressing the importance of first impressions and how people are perceived. In part two, Barker emphasizes the significance of friendships and how they differ in quality and change over time and as we age. Building on that, he emphasizes friendship in romantic relationships, which leads up to part three, which explores love and marriage. In this chapter, Barker provides predictors of happiness and success in relationships and solid advice. Finally, for those who are not interested in relating to others, part four explores the benefits and pitfalls of loneliness. Smart, yet funny, Barker frequently draws from scientifically backed studies, yet the tone is always humorous and conversational. His examples, drawn from famous and infamous individuals from all walks of life, will help readers solidify every concept he introduces. VERDICT Readers interested in sociology and interpersonal relationships will enjoy this humorous, science-based exploration of human relationships and what makes them last.—Jen Clifton

Library Journal