The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help

The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help

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Overview

The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help by Amanda Palmer

FOREWORD BY BRENE BROWN and POSTSCRIPT FROM BRAIN PICKINGS CREATOR MARIA POPOVA


Rock star, crowdfunding pioneer, and TED speaker Amanda Palmer knows all about asking. Performing as a living statue in a wedding dress, she wordlessly asked thousands of passersby for their dollars. When she became a singer, songwriter, and musician, she was not afraid to ask her audience to support her as she surfed the crowd (and slept on their couches while touring). And when she left her record label to strike out on her own, she asked her fans to support her in making an album, leading to the world's most successful music Kickstarter.

Even while Amanda is both celebrated and attacked for her fearlessness in asking for help, she finds that there are important things she cannot ask for-as a musician, as a friend, and as a wife. She learns that she isn't alone in this, that so many people are afraid to ask for help, and it paralyzes their lives and relationships. In this groundbreaking book, she explores these barriers in her own life and in the lives of those around her, and discovers the emotional, philosophical, and practical aspects of THE ART OF ASKING.

Part manifesto, part revelation, this is the story of an artist struggling with the new rules of exchange in the twenty-first century, both on and off the Internet. THE ART OF ASKING will inspire readers to rethink their own ideas about asking, giving, art, and love.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781455581092
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Publication date: 10/20/2015
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 352
Sales rank: 142,067
Product dimensions: 5.20(w) x 7.90(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Amanda Palmer rose to fame as the lead singer, pianist, and lyricist for the acclaimed band The Dresden Dolls, and performs as a solo artist as well as collaborating with artists including Jonathan Richman and her husband, author Neil Gaiman.

What People are Saying About This

author of LET'S PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED - Jenny Lawson

This is the kind of book that makes you want to call the author up at midnight to whisper, 'My God. I thought I was the only one.'

Seth Godin

Amanda Palmer's generous work of genius will change the way you think about connection, love and grace

From the Publisher

"Amanda has a direct line with her audience—a lifeline for them and for her, the codependency all truly great performers surrender to…she's capable of anything, incapable of telling anything but the truth." -Bono

“Amanda Palmer joyfully shows a generation how to change their lives.” -Caitlin Moran, author of HOW TO BE A WOMAN and HOW TO BUILD A GIRL

"To read Amanda Palmer's remarkable memoir about asking and giving is to tumble headlong into her world. Immediately, you notice that her world is really different from yours and mine. Amanda's world is more open, more vulnerable, more fearless, more messy, more surprising, more dangerous, more rich with human encounters and exchanges at every imaginable level. At first, you find yourself thinking, 'Goodness, what a crazy world that Amanda Palmer inhabits! How does she possibly endure it?' Then, gradually, as you read along, a doorway opens up in your heart, and you realize, 'I want to live in a world exactly like hers.' God willing, this book will show us all how to do it." -Elizabeth Gilbert, author of EAT, PRAY, LOVE and THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS

“This is the kind of book that makes you want to call the author up at midnight to whisper, 'My God. I thought I was the only one.'" -Jenny Lawson, author of LET'S PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED

“The Art of Asking is a book about cultivating trust and getting as close as possible to love, vulnerability, and connection. Uncomfortably close. Dangerously close. Beautifully close. And uncomfortably close is exactly where we need to be if we want to transform this culture of scarcity and fundamental distrust.” -Brené Brown, author of DARING GREATLY

"Amanda Palmer's generous work of genius will change the way you think about connection, love and grace." -Seth Godin

“From this beautiful, heart wrenching story of art comes an incredible account of the nature and future of commerce - or one part, certainly the most important part, of that bit that's new. Here's a truth that someday the economists might begin to grok, but which meanwhile will define everything that's interesting about how art and culture will thrive.” -Lawrence Lessig, author of FREE CULTURE
“A story about a life in one dollar bills, from statue to icon, where media doesn't matter, crowds do. Mandatory reading in the digital age, for aspiring artists and their doubtful parents.” -Nicholas Negroponte, Founder, MIT Media Lab

author of EAT PRAY LOVE and THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS - Elizabeth Gilbert

To read Amanda Palmer's remarkable memoir about asking and giving is to tumble headlong into her world. Immediately, you notice that her world is really different from yours and mine. Amanda's world is more open, more vulnerable, more fearless, more messy, more surprising, more dangerous, more rich with human encounters and exchanges at every imaginable level. At first, you find yourself thinking, 'Goodness, what a crazy world that Amanda Palmer inhabits! How does she possibly endure it?' Then, gradually, as you read along, a doorway opens up in your heart, and you realize, 'I want to live in a world exactly like hers.' God willing, this book will show us all how to do it.

author of DARING GREATLY - Brené Brown

The Art of Asking is a book about cultivating trust and getting as close as possible to love, vulnerability, and connection. Uncomfortably close. Dangerously close. Beautifully close. And uncomfortably close is exactly where we need to be if we want to transform this culture of scarcity and fundamental distrust.

Customer Reviews

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The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 12 reviews.
chapels More than 1 year ago
This book is exceptional. I teared up, laughed, even sobbed at times. It's real, raw, and beautifully written. Thank you, Amanda, for having the courage to be vulnerable. I see you.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Part memoir, part self-improvement, and part crowd-funding how-to, this book is an amazing, brilliant read, that will leave you crying, hugging, and ready to re-connect with your fellow human. I highly recommend it to anyone who has trouble with self-esteem and assertiveness, especially if they're a struggling artist trying to make end's meet and be heard in the internet age. I've bought copies for both my friends and family, and I was so, so delighted to learn that Barnes & Noble had signed copies left. It makes the gift that much more special.
clahain1 More than 1 year ago
I hadn't heard of Amanda Palmer before a friend recommended this book saying it changed how she managed her indie writing career. Have to say that I admire Palmer's honesty and her bravery. She holds nothing back as she describes her struggles to live her art. At times I doubted there was a usable takeaway for the more introverted among us. But the more I read, the more I saw that the same online  world Palmer makes such good use of can be a comfy place for shy people to connect with fans and fellow artists Palmer's strength is her beautifully human approach to art. Her efforts to democratize it, making and sharing it in a way that doesn't depend on mainstream Curators of Culture, is refreshing. I also appreciate  that she doesn't minimize the financial worries that haunt creative types. Most of us would work for free if  not for a few inconvenient truths--such as the need for food, shelter, and antibiotics. Palmer shows by example how we don't have to make a fortune from our art for it to count. Just the fact that you've created a painting, a book, a performance piece, gives it value. At the same time, she acknowledges that society  doesn't always see things this way. It's okay to work in an office sixty hours a week to afford a BMW and trips to Aruba. But working in an ice cream shop to buy time to paint or write? That only counts in hindsight--after snagging the book-movie deal or the show on reality TV. THE ART OF ASKING does jump around in time, and the text is occasionally interrupted by song lyrics, but this jagged style fits Palmer's story and reflects her personality. On the whole, its an entertaining and thoughtful memoir by someone who's led a fascinating life just by following her own star.
Katie870 More than 1 year ago
This book could alternatively be titled How Amanda Made a Million Dollars by Saying Please. Yet, it’s about so much more than that. It’s also about being human and about the trials and tribulations of a professional artist in today’s climate. While her music may not be for everyone, her story could bring almost anyone to tears and laughter. First Amanda tells about her first job as a living statue in a public park. How that performance made her fall in love repeatedly. It also brought loneliness and harassment. Little did she know at the time she was getting a real education on how to be a professional musician.  Soon she does work full time with her band and even gets signed on with a record label. However, even after selling thousands of copies of her release they considered her a failure. Surprisingly, Amanda Palmer thought of them as failures. She was pissed at her record company. The remainder of the story tells how Amanda did it right -she asked for help. Her and the band raised money through crowd-funding with Kickstarter. They twittered when they needed a place to sleep on tour, or asked for food when hungry. Despite her critic’s antics, Amanda Palmer knows how to keep an authentic relationship with her fans. She formed thousands of friendships full of honesty and based on trust. Instead of some large record label’s marketing schemas of make the audience pay for it, Amanda asks how do we let them offer money? Amanda, if you are reading this – I thank you from the bottom of my heart for gifting your stories and your art for the world to hear. I thank you because these stories inspire my own drive to be myself, to give my art and create more and more of those real connections, forming reciprocal relationships. Most of all, this book helps me to remember to be humble and to ask for help when needed, to go ahead and release the shame and the fear around what the answer may be. Thank you again, Amanda Palmer for your courage.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
While reading the book, I couldn't help but feel like I was sitting at the bar with Amanda and she was letting me into this closed off world of her personal life. I've been a fan of Amanda Palmer's work for years, but this intimate look at what she has learned through her journey in life, art, and with us the fans, was moving for me. I couldn't help but falling more in love with the fantastic and incredible human being as she gave me new perspective on how to connect with people and why the connection is important. It's a definate must read. If you don't believe me, check out her twitter feed. Fans have been buying the book for each other allow everyone the chance to read it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Best book ever
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Amazing book!
T-fourlee More than 1 year ago
"Painfully Real" In a good way. Grab this gift~ "Take the flower" You are SO worth it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
WOW
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
PLEASE JOIN!