The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack

Ever since he was a young orphan, Hansel Higginzshire's dream has been to break the long-held Guinness World Record for hottest gay man ever killed in a shark attack. Big Problem #1: Hansel is not hot. At least not in the classical sense. In fact, the deformed man has a head the size of a wrecking ball. Big Problem #2: Hansel digs chicks, not dudes. Still, that shouldn't stop a big-headed mofo from dreaming big, no But if those obstacles weren't enough to impede Hansel's path to Guinness Wo...