The Me I Meant to Be
The Me I Meant to Be

The Me I Meant to Be

by Sophie Jordan

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781328977069
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Publication date: 01/01/2019
Pages: 304
Sales rank: 148,412
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.10(d)
Age Range: 14 - 18 Years

About the Author

Sophie Jordan grew up in the Texas hill country where she wove fantasies of dragons, warriors, and princesses. A former high school English teacher, she’s a New York Times, USA Today and international bestselling author of over thirty novels. She now lives in Houston with her family. When she’s not writing, she spends her time overloading on caffeine (lattes preferred), talking plotlines with anyone who will listen (including her kids), and cramming her DVR with true-crime and reality TV shows.
Twitter: @SoVerySophie
Instagram: @sosophiejordan

Read an Excerpt

Never date a friend’s ex or a guy your friend is really into.


“What ever happened to girl code?” Jenna asked, sitting cross-legged in the center of my bed, nodding grimly as her teeth savagely tore at a Twizzler.
     “Yeah, well, Ava isn’t a believer,” Flor muttered as she crouched in front of my window, peering between the open blinds like this was some kind of stakeout.
     Sadly, it was not an unfamiliar scenario. Girls had been looking out my blinds to the house next door for years.
     I lived next door to my best friend’s infatuation. In fact, he was most girls’ infatuation, but at the moment I only had Flor to contend with. Trust me, she was more than enough.
     For ten plus years, I’d had a bird’s-eye view into Zach Tucker’s life—a fact that made me the envy of every girl at Madison High. It also made me the supreme authority on all things Zach Tucker. It wasn’t a designation I wanted, but it was mine nonetheless. Perhaps the thing I was best known for. Yeah. Not something to be proud of.
     Complete strangers—girls, naturally—would approach me in the halls just to ask if I really lived next door to Zach Tucker.
     I needed to move.
     “Remember when Ava moved here in seventh grade and I invited her to sit with us at lunch? Our fathers golf together.” Flor looked back at me, outrage brimming in her eyes. “I gave her a ride all last year so she didn’t have to take the bus.”
     “No loyalty,” Jenna agreed, not helping. I sent her a look. She shrugged and took another vicious bite from the long rope of red.
     I was all about not fanning the flames of Flor’s indignation, but Jenna didn’t seem to get that.
     Flor looked back out the blinds with a frustrated sigh, bending at the waist and propping her hands on shapely hips. Hours of soccer per week gave her a body I could only dream about. In fact, that was what most guys did—dream about Flor Hidalgo’s body. Except Zach Tucker.
     Unfathomable as it seemed, he had held that dream in the palm of his hand and he didn’t want it anymore. But then he was Zach Tucker. A dream in his own right. He could have any girl he wanted.
     I opened my mouth to defend Ava, but then I didn’t know if I should . . . or could. I didn’t exactly know what was right here. I only knew that I would never make a play for Zach.
     Even if I thought I had a chance.
     Even if I hadn’t been friend-zoned since we were eight and riding our bikes around the neighborhood.
     Flor had had him first. Always and forever. He was her ex-boyfriend. Bottom line. I knew that. Ava should have known it too.
     Flor faced me again. “Have you seen him today?” Her dark eyes searched mine. “Is he even home?” Hair in a ponytail, makeup long sweated off from running up and down a soccer field, she was still prettier than any girl had a right to be.
     Jenna stared at me too, waiting and sucking on her Twizzler until it resembled a disgusting red antenna.
     Spinning around in my swivel chair, I looked at Zach’s window directly across from mine and felt the familiar ache in my chest.
     Ivy draped the entire side of his house. Only his window was spared the tangle of green. The devouring mass of vines and leaves had mesmerized me over the years, growing and expanding before my very gaze—just like my infatuation with Zach Tucker.
     Once a year, Mrs. Tucker hired someone to trim back the ivy and keep it from swallowing his window. As a little kid, I would always breathe a little easier then. As though Zach were saved from being consumed.
     Motioning in the general direction of Zach’s driveway, I pointed out, “His car’s here.”
     Flor looked back at me, sinking her perfect white teeth deep into her bottom lip. “But he could have gone somewhere with his mom or a friend or something. Did you see someone pick him up?”
     “No, but I haven’t been watching his house all afternoon.”
     “You know, you could just text him,” Jenna suggested, dropping flat on her back on my bed, her hair fanning out around her head in a golden pool.
     I glanced back at my laptop. Mr. Martinez had posted practice questions for tomorrow’s test. We were supposed to be studying, but I should have known we weren’t going to get any work done. An hour in and we hadn’t even made it through two problems. And I still needed to practice my cello. Ms. Rivela had assigned a new arrangement, and I was really struggling with it.
     Flor shot Jenna a quick glare. “I have texted him. He hasn’t replied yet.”
     “Maybe he’s too busy with Ava.”
     I shot Jenna a death look. Did she really have to go there? Speculation was already ripe at school ever since Ava had sat with Zach at lunch this afternoon and not us like she did every day. It was a bold move. The kind of move someone only made when they had a sudden change in relationship status. Everyone gawked as she plopped herself down beside him. Laughing, flirting. Touching his arm every chance she got.
     Jenna shrugged back at me.
     “You think he’s with her now?” Flor demanded, her velvety eyes wide with alarm. And that was strange. Flor Hidalgo was many things, but never insecure. If this was what happened when a guy dumped you, no thanks. Single sounded just right to me.
     Zach had broken up with her nine days ago. Nine endless days ago. They had been together for three months. The longest three months of my life. A month ago I’d sensed that Zach wanted out.
     There were all the little signs. Easy to catch if you knew him. His eyes strayed from Flor’s face when she was talking. When they touched or kissed, he pulled away first. He missed a couple of her soccer games even when I knew he didn’t have anywhere else to be. And then there was the night when Flor got stupid drunk. Something went down between them that night, because he broke it off the next day.
     It was like watching a car crash about to happen. Everything dragged to slow motion. I knew it was coming, but I wasn’t able to do anything except brace for the impact.
     Still, I didn’t think he would hook up with another girl so soon. But this was high school, and hot, popular guys didn’t stay alone for long. I knew that. I had just hoped Flor would be over him before then. Or it would be summer and I’d be busy working and able to escape the ensuing drama.
     Flor sank down on the foot of my bed, her face screwed tight with emotion. Clearly, she was far from over him. She pulled her knees up to her chest. She was still wearing her shin guards and socks, dirty and grass-stained from practice. “Friends don’t do this to friends.”
     I glanced back at my laptop, tapping my fingers nervously on my desk. The guilt was there, even though I didn’t act on it.
     “Willa?” Flor stared at me in an expectant way. “Can you believe Ava is doing this to me?”
     “Yeah. It’s . . . wrong.”
     “Wrong?” Her beautiful eyes blinked. “It’s more than wrong. It goes against girl code. We might not be best friends, but we’re tight.”
     “There should be an official girl-code manual given out the first day of freshman year,” Jenna declared. “It would make girls think twice before they betray their friends. At least there wouldn’t be any confusion.” She stabbed a finger in the air. “You break girl code and everyone knows you’re a traitor.”
     “For real.” Flor fell back on the bed beside Jenna and took a Twizzler from the bag Jenna held out to her. A moment of silence fell.
     I turned back to my laptop, looking at the long-neglected math problem but failing to see it.
     The Twizzler bag crinkled as they continued to eat.
     The numbers blurred and danced. I side-eyed the window of Zach’s room. There were no blinds. Just curtains, and they were drawn, revealing a neat sliver of his navy blue bedspread. His mom always made his bed for him. She doted on him—even though he valiantly resisted her efforts.
     Somewhere inside my house my sister’s child started crying.
     “Chloe!” Mom’s voice rang out from downstairs.
     I squeezed the bridge of my nose. My sister didn’t answer, but I didn’t expect she would. She was conveniently in the shower. She’d been in the bathroom for two hours. Ever since my brother-in-law dumped Chloe for another woman and she moved back home, she’d been spending a lot of time in the shower. I think she thought no one could hear her crying over the running water. The water bill was getting out of hand, if the increase of ramen on the menu was any indication.
     “That’s it,” Flor suddenly announced. She sat up, waving a floppy Twizzler, her face alight with inspiration. “We need to write it.”
     “Write what?” I asked.
     She waved her hand in a little circle. “An official girl-code manual. We’ll write one and distribute it. Just like Jenna said.” A militant gleam entered her eyes. “All the Avas of the world will know their betrayals aren’t okay, and everyone will see them for the backstabbers they really are.”
     “Yeah.” Jenna propped herself up on her elbows. “Right on.”
     I stared at them both, my stomach twisting into knots. They were serious.
     “Quick.” Flor motioned to my laptop. “Start a file in Google Docs. That way we can edit and add to it as we go.”
     Stifling a sigh, I opened up a document and titled it: The Official Guide to Girl Code. Staring at those words on the screen, I felt a strange sense of foreboding sweep over me, and those knots just twisted tighter.
     Flor leaned over my shoulder. “Nice. All right. I think we can all agree on the first rule.” For a moment I didn’t move, simply gazed at the blank screen, my fingers poised over the keyboard. The toddler was full-on wailing now, and I knew I should get up and go hold her. Mom was too tense. It was like Mia could sense that and cried harder.
     “Come on, Willa,” Jenna pressured. “Type.”
     Nodding, I started typing.
     Flor cast a heavy shadow over me as she read my words aloud. “‘Girl Code Number One: Never date a friend’s ex or a guy your friend is really into.’”

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The Me I Meant to Be 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 5 reviews.
Anonymous 11 days ago
This book was fun and cute to read. It is told in dual POV between two best friends, but I really preferred Flor's plot line. I liked Willa's family plot line, but her romantic one was annoying. I am not a huge fan the trope of best friends liking/dating the same guy and that is what Willa's plot revolves around. It was strange to me that Willa and Flor rarely hung out, for two people who are best friends it seemed odd. The ending felt off to me and it is wrapped up in an unnatural way. But, it was a cute and fun read. Especially Flor's plot line. I loved seeing her and Grayson's scenes. To be honest if the whole book was from her POV I might have liked it more.
book_junkee 16 days ago
I requested this one so long ago and now that it’s time to read it, I’m not sure why I wanted to read it. Willa and Flor were not the best MCs for me. There was a lot of potential, but I didn’t care for either of their inner monologues and struggled to care for their story line. I didn’t quite see why they were friends. As for the boys, they were sort of lackluster. Plot wise, it was fairly dramatic. There are a lot of things going on and some issues felt glossed over {like the sister clearly being depressed.} It felt like a much younger book than the stated ages of the characters and I just never really settled into it. Overall, it was sort of like a train wreck I couldn’t look away from. Something kept me reading, but I couldn’t tell you what it was. **Huge thanks to HMH Books FYR for providing the arc free of charge**
Lisa_Loves_Literature 17 days ago
As soon as I heard about this book, I knew I had to read it. I have been a fan of the author, Sophie Jordan, for a long time, ever since I read her book, Uninvited. I've read several other books by her since then, but this was the first YA from her in awhile it seemed. While visiting the different publisher booths at ALA last summer, when I saw this one I immediately had to ask if they had a copy I could read. It was one of my unicorn ARCs that I was very happy to take home with me from New Orleans last June. I didn't get to it as soon as I'd hoped, before release date last week. But, I was lucky enough that when I did get to it, January 3rd, I had nothing else I had to do that day, and was able to basically just sit and read almost all day long. Which I did, and I finished it in one day. I could barely put it down to do anything else. The characters were perfect, so realistic in my opinion. And so much about the story itself. There was the usual slut-shaming that you see in real life, but what I liked is that the girls, well, Willa at least - especially, called people out about it. Something that needs to be done. But it wasn't all just about the romance. There were friendships to keep up with, both between the girls, Willa and Flor, and then also between Willa and Zach, Flor's ex, but one of Willa's best friends for longer than that. And it wasn't like their home lives were perfect. Flor had issues with her dad and his new girlfriend. Willa was dealing with her older sister who had moved home with a baby and major depression. Then there was a surprise about Flor's tutor towards the end that I didn't see coming. Some hints about his home life had played out on one of their study sessions, and it totally did not go where I was assuming it would go. A great, emotional read, highly recommended, and one I'll definitely be purchasing for my school library in the future.
marongm8 21 days ago
This book should be on every shelf of libraries, homes, and community places for every teenage girl about how to care for those whom you love. The dating life is something every teenage girl in some way, shape or form worries about for most of their high school career. I also fell in love with the theme of this story that no matter who each girl dates, if she is your true friend, she will not only forgive you but still love you. I could not stop reading this book and I felt so satisfied when finished that I know our young readers will love it too. That is why we give this book 5 stars.
BeckyRendon 22 days ago
The Me I Meant to Be is every good and terrible thing about being a teen. It's family. It's friends. It is pressure to be what others want/need/demand. The Me I Meant to Be is a story of two friends and their own troubled existence. What they see and what those around them see aren't the same. Their lives aren't what they appear. Their relationships aren't what everyone thinks. They aren't what everyone thinks. Eventually it will all be clear... Told admitting that I almost cried at the end. I am still fighting the feels. The Me I Meant to Be with all its problems was still a better experience than mine. Hopefully, others have far less ups and downs.