The Mindful Path to Intimacy: Cultivating a Deeper Connection with Your Partner

by James V. Cordova PhD

Overview

Lots of couples are comfortable, but are they close? How often do you or your partner binge-watch TV alone at night, instead of cuddling on the couch? And what happened to those meaningful conversations, sharing innermost thoughts? Psychologist James Cordova knows that in a world filled with distractions and busy schedules, many couples struggle to maintain genuine closeness and understanding. In this empathic guide, he reveals how the transformative power of mindfulness can support stronger, more vibrant intimate relationships. We all yearn to feel wholly known and accepted. Through guided exercises, journaling prompts, and heartfelt stories, learn how to be truly present with your partner, resolve conflicts, and connect on a deeper level—both physically and emotionally.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781462547654
Publisher:	Guilford Publications, Inc.
Publication date:	02/04/2025
Pages:	230
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.62(d)

About the Author

James V. Cordova, PhD, is Distinguished Professor of Psychology at Clark University. A leader in relationship research and couple therapy, he is the developer of the Marriage Checkup, an innovative approach to improving relationship health. Dr. Cordova is a longtime teacher of Zen meditation who is passionate about enriching couples' connections through both psychological insights and mindfulness. He divides his time between Worcester, Massachusetts, and Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Table of Contents

I. Preparing for the Journey
Introduction
1. Paying Mindful Attention: The Most Basic Form of Love
2. Turning Toward Vulnerability: Strength in Openheartedness
II. Walking the Intimate Path
3. Being and Seeking a Safe Harbor: The Attachment Teeter-Totter
4. Acting Intentionally: Everything You Do Matters
5. Listening Deeply: May I Only Seek to Understand
6. Waking Up to Interconnectedness: The Illusion of Separateness
7. Loving Your Partner Skillfully: May You Know That I Adore You
8. The Red Thread: Sex and the Path of Physical Intimacy
III. Overcoming Obstacles on the Path
9. Burning Intimacy Bridges: Practicing with Intense Emotions
10. Awakening to Relationship Patterns: The Practice of Co-Creation
11. Encountering the Arising of Conflict: Only by Love Alone
12. Repairing Ruptures: To Mend What Has Been Broken
13. Facing Impermanence: Intimacy with Aging, Illness, and Death
14. Walking the Intimate Path: The Whole World Is Medicine
Index
About the Author

Editorial Reviews

"Dr. Cordova provides heartfelt guidance for the challenges of honoring ourselves and another in meaningful, intertwined lives. The useful exercises and examples throughout the book will deepen your learning. I highly recommend this book for any couple, whether you are struggling or not. There is wisdom for all of us here."—Lizabeth Roemer, PhD, Department of Psychology, University of Massachusetts Boston

“This book came into my life at just the right time. Being guided with actionable scripts and the tools to find solutions has made me feel immensely supported. I was surprised to discover that, with vulnerability and a bit of humor, simply identifying our relationship patterns (mountains and molehills here) eases friction in moments of conflict, and is helping me and my partner find deeper trust and connection.”—Dominique H., Denver

"I cherish the skills I am learning from this book. Dr. Cordova provides tangible tools to nurture intimate relationships."—Jessica S., Albuquerque

"Dr. Cordova is a skilled therapist with a particular gift for imagery that gets to the heart of common relationship struggles. This book invites couples to turn toward each other for comfort and closeness, even when stress or hurt feelings get in the way. Dr. Cordova outlines mindfulness practices that can help you create a deeper, richer, more resilient relationship."—Kristina Coop Gordon, PhD, coauthor of Getting Past the Affair, Second Edition

“From being mindful of our daily actions and listening deeply to each other, to understanding our differing styles of attachment, it’s hard to imagine ever floundering in our relationship again when these meaningful words and pointed guidance are sitting on our bookshelf."—Nicole D., Worcester, Massachusetts

"Dr. Cordova's profound insights and practical strategies are helping me and my partner deepen our relationship further, even though we have been together for decades."—Van C., Denver

"Dr. Cordova borrows from attachment theory and the ancient practice of mindfulness meditation to provide a new look at couple relationships. He describes how intimacy can be damaged in the rough and tumble of our daily lives, and shows a path toward repairing it. I firmly believe that following the strategies in this book with your partner can help you experience greater connection."—Andrew Christensen, PhD, coauthor of Reconcilable Differences, Second Edition

From the Publisher