The Squirrel Stole My Thong and Other Reasons I'm Still Single

Los Angeles is superficial, plastic and damn proud of it. It's glitz and tits and if you aren't blonde, twenty-three years old, six feet tall, and one hundred twenty pounds, you really shouldn't even bother moving there. I lived in LA for many years but I had to leave. They actually sent me an eviction notice once I passed the one hundred twenty five pound mark. Seriously, I wanted to live in a place where I could breathe the air, drink water out of the tap and not be mocked because I don't...