Thriving in Relationships When You Have OCD: How to Keep Obsessions and Compulsions from Sabotaging Love, Friendship, and Family Connections

by Amy Mariaskin PhD, Kimberley Quinlan LMFT (Foreword by)

Overview

Don’t let OCD be the third wheel in your relationships! This practical guide will help you build and nurture the connections you deserve.

If you have obsessive—compulsive disorder (OCD), you may seek constant reassurance from others, lose time to compulsions, struggle with unwanted thoughts and intense emotions, or act out in ways that are ineffective. These symptoms can put a major strain on your relationships—whether it’s with family, friends, partners, or other relationships. And you may feel alone, embarrassed, and ashamed of your symptoms, which can lead to further withdrawal and social isolation. So, how can you reduce the impact of OCD on your relationships?

Drawing on evidence—based practices grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and mindful self—compassion, psychologist Amy Mariaskin offers a comprehensive guide for managing your toughest symptoms—before they hijack your relationships. With this book, you’ll find hands—on skills to move toward what you truly want in your relationships and strengthen feelings of intimacy, trust, and connectedness. And finally, you’ll learn how to cultivate self—compassion, mindfulness, and curiosity—all while challenging the beliefs and behaviors that keep you feeling stuck in isolation.

If you’re tired of OCD sabotaging your relationships, this book will help you take control of your symptoms—and your life.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781648480584
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	12/01/2022
Pages:	200
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Amy Mariaskin, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist with fifteen years of experience treating obsessive—compulsive disorder (OCD), anxiety, and related disorders. She is founding director of the Nashville OCD & Anxiety Treatment Center, faculty of the International OCD Foundation’s Behavior Therapy Training Institute, and adjunct professor at Vanderbilt University. Mariaskin has provided individual and group therapy to adults, adolescents, children, and families affected by these disorders. She strives to create a sensitive and affirming therapeutic experience for her clients, and incorporates humor and creativity into evidence—based practice.

Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT, is a psychotherapist in private practice specializing in the treatment of OCD and related disorders. She is host of the Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, and founder of www.cbtschool.com—an online psychoeducation platform for OCD, anxiety disorders, and body—focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs).

Table of Contents

Foreword vii

Acknowledgments xi

Introduction 1

1 The Third Wheel: OCD's Role in Your Relationships 3

2 Accommodation and Reassurance: Your Relationships' Role in Your OCD 21

3 "I Can't See You Anymore": OCD Subtypes That Center on Relationships 39

4 The Family You Choose: Friendship and OCD 61

5 Putting Yourself Out There: Dating, Romance, and OCD 77

6 In the Bedroom: Sexual Intimacy and OCD 97

7 Moving In: Roommates and Partners at Home 115

8 We're All in This Together: Family and OCD 133

9 Managing OCD While Managing Kids: Parenting with OCD 151

10 Nine-to-Five: Relationships at Work 169

References 177

Editorial Reviews

To the obsessive—compulsive disorder (OCD) sufferer, this condition ‘others’ you. It separates you from the people you love, work with, confide in, or just pass on the street. It tells you that your thoughts and feelings are wrong and gross, and everyone else must just be in on a joke you can’t hear. In Thriving in Relationships When You Have OCD, Amy Mariaskin expertly demonstrates how to navigate and reconnect to the relationships impacted by the disorder. She brilliantly balances the compassion for those suffering with a charm and humor that never condescends. The book is an easy read that also takes the time to explore the often—confusing nuances of OCD, such as the relationship between avoidance and compulsive behavior. In this book, Mariaskin has identified a missing piece of the self—help literature and readers will find their OCD much less puzzling as a result.”
—Jon Hershfield, MFT, director of The Center for OCD and Anxiety at Sheppard Pratt

Jon Hershfield

The impact of OCD extends well beyond the individual with the disorder. Obsessions may be private events, but the attempt to cope with obsessions involves behavior that can significantly affect the lives of family, friends, and others. Amy Mariaskin’s book eloquently explains the interpersonal damage that can be associated with OCD, and offers sound advice for promoting healthy relationships despite the challenges of OCD. Her book is a valuable contribution to the literature that will be immensely helpful to people with OCD and to the people who care about them as well.”
—C. Alec Pollard, PhD, professor emeritus of family and community medicine at Saint Louis University School of Medicine, and founding director of the Center for OCD & Anxiety—Related Disorders at Saint Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute

C. Alec Pollard

OCD can impact relationships, and the quality of those relationships. That’s why this book is so important. Amy Mariaskin has been a guest on my podcast for many years because of her insight and caring nature. Her new book aims to help you navigate many things, including the trap of reassurance and the pain that follows avoidance, while moving toward meaningful relationships of all kinds.”
—Stuart Ralph, psychotherapist for children and young people, and host of The OCD Stories podcast

Stuart Ralph

A life well lived has rich, meaningful, and caring relationships with others! And yet, when a person struggles with obsessions, this basic need and natural capacity for connection are affected by confusion, doubt, and shame. But there is hope; there are skills you can learn to discover deeper intimacy with the ones that matter in your life.

Relationships, all of them, are the ultimate unknown. In this book, Amy Mariaskin will show you how to navigate relationship anxiety and obsessive doubts without losing yourself—in a compassionate and actionable way. There will be ups and downs in this learning process, and Mariaskin will prepare you to navigate all of those moments so you can thrive in your relationships. This is a must—read book for anyone dealing with OCD that wants to experience rich and fulfilling connections!” 
—Patricia E. Zurita Ona, PsyD, author of Acceptance and Commitment Skills for Perfectionism and High—Achieving Behaviors and Living Beyond OCD

Patricia E. Zurita Ona

If OCD is taking over your relationships, this book offers hope and guidance. Amy Mariaskin provides tools and suggestions for how to thrive in relationships based on the best available treatment for OCD—exposure and response prevention (ERP). This fantastic book fills a significant gap in the field, and I will be recommending it to my own clients!” 
—Jonathan S. Abramowitz, PhD, professor, and director of clinical training at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

Jonathan S. Abramowitz

I discovered within these pages a more robust vocabulary to communicate with the people I love, and a deeper appreciation for the incredible OCD community to which I belong. My story was reflected back to me with warmth, empathy, and humor. I am incredibly grateful for this book!”
—Jason Adam Katzenstein, New Yorker cartoonist, and author of Everything Is an Emergency

Jason Adam Katzenstein