You Are Not What You Think: The Egoless Path to Self-Esteem and Generous Love

You Are Not What You Think: The Egoless Path to Self-Esteem and Generous Love

by David Richo


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You Are Not What You Think: The Egoless Path to Self-Esteem and Generous Love by David Richo

You and your ego: how to develop a healthy sense of self without becoming an egotist—and how to see through that sense of self for the happiness of yourself and others.

How can you build the healthy ego necessary to be effective in life—yet avoid the kind of egotism that makes people dislike you? Don't worry; Dave Richo has the answers. His new book shows you how to navigate the tricky waters between egotism and selflessness in a way that avoids both extremes and makes you much more effective and loving. The key is to acknowledge your ego and to be kind to it, before you ultimately learn to let it go. As with all Dave's books, this one is full of examples from myth and religion, with plenty of exercises and practical advice.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781611802856
Publisher: Shambhala
Publication date: 12/29/2015
Pages: 192
Sales rank: 850,359
Product dimensions: 5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

DAVID RICHO, PhD, is a psychotherapist, teacher, and author who leads popular workshops around the US at venues such as the Esalen Institute, New York Open Center, and Spirit Rock Meditation Center.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

1 What Is Ego? 11

What Egotism Looks Like 12

Where Did Ego Come From? 24

A Freudian View of Ego: A Healthy Center 27

A Jungian View: Spiritual Riches 27

A Depth View: The More that Meets the Eye 28

A Buddhist View: Flux and Flow 29

Introducing the Practices 31

Practice: Cultivating Big Mind 32

Practice: Mindfulness and Big Mind 33

2 What Is My Ego So Afraid Of? 35

How Attention Helps 41

Practice: Getting Over Our Fears 43

Practice: Working with Our Fear of Vulnerability 45

Compassion for Ourselves 48

Practicing Self-Compassion 50

Talking to Ourselves Kindly 52

Responding to the Inner Critic 52

The End of Compulsive Seeking 53

3 Healthy Ego and Egotism 55

The Three-Way Ego 56

All Puffed Up 59

When We Meet Up with a Narcissist 63

Too Small an Ego 66

The Ego at Ease: Just Right Pride 68

Practice: Look and See 70

4 Childhood and Ego 75

Letting Go of Old Programming 78

Practice: Healing the Past That Is Still in Us 81

We and Our Parents Now 86

Practice: Fulfilling Our Lifelong Yearnings 89

5 Ego and Relationships 93

How Egotism Can Show Up in a Relationship 95

Does No Ego Mean No Me? 100

Brain, Sex, and the Stages of Relationship 103

When the Ego Is Aroused in Relationships 105

Drama and Reactions 109

Practice: Openness to Communication 111

Practice: Affirmations for Healthier Relationships 112

6 Taming and Befriending Our Ego 115

Neither Seek nor Avoid 117

When Ego Gets Its Comeuppance 118

Practice: Shortcuts to Letting Go of Ego 123

Positive Uses of Ego 126

Making the Best of the Dark Side 130

Practice: Making Friends with Our Shadow 132

Practice: New Directions 136

The Wonderful Results of Taming 139

7 Honoring Our True Nature 145

A Surrender We Welcome 148

The Buddha Mindspace 150

Practice: Circle Meditation 155

Epilogue: The Great Reversal 159

Appendix: Feminine Powers and the Male Ego 163

About the Author 171

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