Table of Contents
Introduction 1
Part 1 The Developing Sense of Self 7
Chapter 1 The Conditioned Self 9
Differentiating from Our Conditioning
The Role of Our Caregivers 11
The Ego 13
Unfinished Business from the Past 15
The Role of Trauma 18
Harmony's Story 20
Exercise: Identify the Mask 21
Walkaway with Wisdom 22
Chapter 2 The True Self 24
Discovering the True Self 26
The Family Story 28
Leaving One's Self 31
Attachment Styles 33
The Fertile Void 36
Harmony's Story 38
Exercise: Describe the Indescribable 39
Walkaway with Wisdom 40
Chapter 3 The Integrated Self 41
Attention Guides Our Identity
The Alchemy of Integration 44
Integrated Felt Sense 46
Exploring Your Felt Sense 47
Harmony's Story 49
Exercise: Encompassing Multitudes 51
Walkaway with Wisdom 52
Chapter 4 The Emerging Self 53
Life Urge 54
Emerging in Relationships 55
Harmony's Story 56
Exercise: Ignite Your Becoming 58
Walkaway with Wisdom 59
Part 2 Finding Our Alignment 61
Chapter 5 The Shadow 63
Disowned Parts
The Role of Shame 66
Projective Identification 68
Claiming Our Shadow 70
Harmony's Story 71
Exercise: Claim Your Darkness 72
Walkaway with Wisdom 73
Chapter 6 Distorted Life Force 74
Subtle Energy Body
Exploration: Attune to the Subtle Self 76
The Line of Distortion 77
The Polarity of Distortion 80
Working with Polarities 83
Harmony's Story 84
Exercise: Embody the Polarity 85
Walkaway with Wisdom 87
Chapter 7 The Core of Our Being 88
Finding our Alignment 89
Exercise: Opening Our Energy Centers
Coming Back to Ourselves 95
Harmony's Story 98
Exercise: Activate Your Alignment 100
Walkaway with Wisdom 101
Part 3 Contacting Our Essence 103
Chapter 8 Disrupting Contact 105
What Is Contact?
Contact Boundary Disturbances 106
"Shouldisms" and "Aboutisms" 113
Creating Quality Contact 114
Harmony's Story 115
Exercise: Staying in Contact 118
Walkaway with Wisdom 119
Chapter 9 We Are Already Whole 120
Blocks to Subtle Energy 121
Paradox of Change 125
Harmony's Story 127
Exercise: Mapping the Patterns of the Conditioned Self 128
Walkaway with Wisdom 129
Chapter 10 Returning to Innocence 131
The Relational Effects of Trauma 132
The Role of Our Inner Young One 135
Working with Younger Parts 136
Exploration 138
Harmony's Story 139
Exercise: Reparenting Your Inner Young One 140
Walkaway with Wisdom 144
Chapter 11 Deepening into Our Experience 146
Somatic Curiosity 147
Metabolizing Old Emotional Pain 150
The Role of Chronic Physical Pain 153
Harmony's Story 154
Exercise: Somatic Attunement 155
Walkaway with Wisdom 157
Chapter 12 Systemic Inequity 158
Field Theory
The Role of Power Structures 159
Ancestral Patterns 165
Decolonizing Psychotherapy 167
Harmony's Story 169
Exercise: Right Use of Power 171
Walkaway with Wisdom 172
Part 4 Aligned Relationships 175
Chapter 13 Interconnection 177
Entangled Relationships 178
Polarity Distortion in Relationships 182
The Polarity of Feminine and Masculine Energies 188
Finding Resonance 190
Harmony's Story 193
Exercise: Connecting to Your Inner Young One 195
Walkaway with Wisdom 196
Chapter 14 Relationships without Entanglements 198
Energetic Boundaries
Honoring Ourselves 205
Becoming Fully Aligned 209
Harmony's Story 216
Exercise: Cultivating Healthy Boundaries 218
Exercise: Track Your Desires 220
Walkaway with Wisdom 223
Chapter 15 Intentional Language 225
The Language of Distortion 226
Fully Owning Our Experience 228
Connection or Control 230
Correction as Distortion 233
The Language of the True Self 236
Harmony's Story 238
Exercise: Discover the Language of Self-Responsibility 240
Walkaway with Wisdom 242
Chapter 16 Intentional Listening 244
The Filter We Listen Through 245
Listening beyond Words 248
The Power of Curiosity 249
Reflective Listening 251
Harmony's Story 254
Exercise: Be a Mirror 257
Walkaway with Wisdom
Chapter 17 Revealing Our Truth 260
Vulnerability Creates Deeper Connection Keeping an Eye on the Inside 264
Harmony's Story 266
Exercise: Practice Revealing 269
Alone: Notice Your Experience of Yourself
With a Partner: Relational Meditation
Walkaway with Wisdom 271
Chapter 18 Conscious Relating 273
Being in Relationship 274
Sacred Connection 276
Relational Practice
Harmony's Story 278
Exercise: Practicing Relational Conflict Resolution 281
Walkaway with Wisdom 285
Part 5 The Undefended Heart 287
Chapter 19 Doorway to the Heart 289
The Protected Heart 290
The Cloaked Heart 292
Openheartedness Sows Openheartedness 296
Harmony's Story 297
Exercise: Your Resonant Heart 299
Exercise: Finding Resonance with a Partner 301
Walkaway with Wisdom 302
Chapter 20 Sacred Embodiment 304
Relating to Our Body
Beyond Objectification 307
Too Much 309
Harmony's Story 311
Exercise: Body love 313
Walkaway with Wisdom 316
Chapter 21 Conscious Sexuality 317
Sexual Transformation
Self-Pleasure 320
Intentional Pleasure Practices 321
Harmony's Story 324
Exercise: Tantric Breathing 326
Walkaway with Wisdom 328
Chapter 22 Living in Alignment 330
Lifelong Learning 331
Working with Affirmations 333
Cycle of Alignment 334
Harmony's Story 337
Exercise: Each Day Is a Sacred Opportunity to Move from Our Alignment 340
Walkaway with Wisdom 341
Final Thoughts and Wishes 343
From the Author 345
Vocabulary 347
References Harmony Kwiker, MA 359
