Becoming the One: Heal Your Past, Transform Your Relationship Patterns, and Come Home to Yourself

Becoming the One: Heal Your Past, Transform Your Relationship Patterns, and Come Home to Yourself

by Sheleana Aiyana
Becoming the One: Heal Your Past, Transform Your Relationship Patterns, and Come Home to Yourself

Becoming the One: Heal Your Past, Transform Your Relationship Patterns, and Come Home to Yourself

by Sheleana Aiyana


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Spiritual writer and Rising Woman founder Sheleana Aiyana takes you on a transformational inner-work journey to heal lifelong relationship patterns and reclaim power over your life.

Romantic relationships can infuse our lives with the magic of intimacy and connection. But for many of us, that magic is fleeting—over and over, our relationships don't last, or if they do, they fail to make us happy. We find ourselves chasing unavailable love, sublimating our needs in service to others, or trying to save our partners from themselves, all the while abandoning the ones who need us most—ourselves.

If you find yourself struggling to let go after a relationship ends, or you keep hitting the same wall in dating and relationships with emotionally unavailable people, this is not a sign that you are broken. It is a sign that somewhere along the way, you learned to sacrifice yourself in order to be loved. In Becoming the One, spiritual leader and visionary founder of the Rising Woman community Sheleana Aiyana offers a roadmap for transforming your relationship patterns to end the cycle of self-abandonment and move into the light of self-discovery.

The desire for love is wired into the very fibers of our being, but before you can create rewarding bonds with others, first you must stand wholeheartedly in self-acceptance. Becoming the One is an invitation to find your way home to yourself.

EXPERT ADVICE: Based on wisdom gleaned from the traumas of her past and years of guiding thousands of women around the world in her internationally acclaimed "Becoming the One" program of spiritual and therapeutic healing practices, Sheleana Aiyana's revolutionary lessons teach you to embody the qualities you are seeking in others so that you can become "the one" for yourself.

ESSENTIAL LESSONS: Learn to connect with your inner child, challenge your core beliefs about love, set self-affirming boundaries, discover and celebrate your true desires, recognize red and green flags, and build a secure, loving relationship with yourself. By learning how to trust your body and make peace with your past, you'll clear the path for healthy, conscious love—one that returns the authority to you to choose how to live and whom to love.


"This is a spectacular guide to the inner world and relationships; it dispels myths, grounds you in transformative truth, and reconnects you to your power."—Yung Pueblo, New York Times bestselling author of Clarity Connection

"This masterpiece will take you from pain to freedom. Reading Becoming the One will help you understand the process and power of healing."—Nedra Glover Tawwab, New York Times bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace

Perfect for:
  • Anyone navigating a recent breakup or feeling fed up with dating
  • Fans of self-help and self-improvement books
  • Adding to the shelf alongside Women Who Run with the Wolves, Attached, Glennon Doyle's Untamed, or books by Esther Perel

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781797211671
Publisher: Chronicle Books
Publication date: 06/14/2022
Pages: 304
Sales rank: 157,874
Product dimensions: 6.10(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

SHELEANA AIYANA is the founder of Rising Woman, a growing community of more than 3 million readers. Her training and immersion in couples facilitation, inherited family trauma, family systems, conscious relationship, somatic healing, and plant medicines inform her holistic approach to seeing relationship as a spiritual path. More than 30,000 women in 146 countries have taken her flagship program Becoming the One. She lives with her husband, Ben, on xʷməθkʷəy̓əm, the unceded land of the Hul'q'umi'num'-and WSÁNEC´-speaking Coast Salish peoples, now known as Salt Spring Island, BC.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

1 Reclaim Your Relationship To Self

Chapter 1 The Healing Journey 13

Chapter 2 It Starts with You 29

Chapter 3 Coming Home to the Body's Wisdom 43

Chapter 4 Connect with Your Inner Child 67

2 Heal Your Past

Chapter 5 Healing the Abandonment Wound 87

Chapter 6 Divine Mother and Father Energy 105

Chapter 7 Forgiveness and Acceptance 129

3 Explore Your Relationship Patterns

Chapter 8 Understanding Projections 145

Chapter 9 Transform Your Relationship Patterns 161

Chapter 10 Compassionate Self-Awareness 181

Chapter 11 Red Flags, Green Flags 197

4 Realign with Your Truth

Chapter 12 Trust Your Body, Set Boundaries 219

Chapter 13 Clarify Your Expectations 241

Chapter 14 Define Your Core Values 253

5 Get What You Want in Your Relationship

Chapter 15 Creating a Conscious Relationship 267

Chapter 16 Your Path to Authentic Love 285

Acknowledgments 294

Recommended Reading 296

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