In Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children, Sheri McGregor, M.A., helps kind and supportive parents who know they did their best to break free from emotional pain—and move forward in their own lives.
As a loving mother to whom the unthinkable happened, McGregor knows the horrible shock that wrings a parent dry, triggers denial, blame, anger, and shame. With empathy and understanding, as well as tools, the latest research, and insight from more than 9,000 parents of estranged adult children, McGregor helps parents of estranged adults plan ahead, prepare for emotional triggers, and prevail over setbacks and pain.
You can be happy again. In a calm yet authoritative voice, and with exercises derived from her work as a life coach and her own recovery, McGregor helps mothers who did their best to come to terms with their estranged adult child’s choices, and regain their health and happiness.
To fathers of estranged adult children—this book can help you, too. “Ninety-three percent of the parents who answer my survey at RejectedParents.Net are mothers,” says Sheri McGregor. “That’s why the title is directed at them. But many of book’s examples are from couples, and include the experiences of fathers. Some passages directly highlight men’s reactions, including my husband’s. The principles presented are relevant to fathers, and the strategies for coping can be used by anyone.”
In this encouraging and comprehensive book, McGregor fully covers the phenomenon of estranged adult children from families who never expected a son or daughter to cut ties and walk away.
Nine in-depth chapters provide dozens of inspiring examples from among the thousands of parents of estranged adult children. Gain understanding and practical help from a mother who knows the pain of this devastating loss with all its uncertainty and heartache. Hope can remain, but you don’t have to stay stalled, forever waiting. You can move past the disbelief and distress. Take charge. Reclaim yourself and your life—only maybe even better.
The latest research, helpful exercises, reflection prompts, and dozens of real-life examples, cover the following topics and more:
- Managing the shock of "The Early Daze."
- Answering the gnawing, "Why?" Reasons for the growing trend of estranged adult children from loving famlies.
- Getting needed support for this often misundersood problem.
- Managing the persistent and ambiguous nature of loss from estrangement.
- The emotional impact--it's far-reaching and insidious.
- Managing the Effects on the Family.
- What it means to reconcile.
- Life Goes On. Estate planning, end-of-life decisions, grandparents' rights, and other considerations.
- Moving forward in a meaningful life.
Sheri McGregor has a Master's Degree in Human Behavior and is a certified life coach. Her work for parents of estranged adults began at her blog, RejectedParents.Net. As a writer whose soothing words help others heal, she has become a powerful and compassionate voice for parents of estranged adult children.
|Publisher:||Sowing Creek Press|
|Product dimensions:||5.90(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.80(d)|
About the Author
McGregor's articles on psychology, health, and a variety of other topics have appeared in dozens of national and international publications. She has also written for anthologies, websites, and organizations. Best known for her hiking books, McGregor leads readers down the trails with descriptions that reveal her appreciation for nature and how it calms the mind.
Her work to help parents of estranged adult children began at RejectedParents.NET, which she founded in late 2012. As a writer whose soothing words help others heal, Sheri McGregor has become a powerful voice for the parents of estranged adult children.
Table of Contents
Preface and Introduction: (Why I Wrote the Book: The Short Answer; The Whole Story: How This Book Came To Be; Who This Book Is For; A Note To Fathers; Organizing Your Progress; Preparing for Success; Identity Protection; Turning a New Page). CH1: The Early Daze (A State of Shock; The Haze of Emotions; Give Voice to Your Experience; Don't Be Hasty; Have I Lost My Mind? Not Likely; Reaching Out? Or Withdrawing? Both Are Normal; Coping Mindfully; Observe, And Then Make a Plan; Start Healing: Three Things to Remember; What's Next?; Know Your Feelings: Moving Ahead for Your Own Good;). CH2. Why? (Mothers Blame Themselves; Are Cultural Shifts to Blame?; Influential Adversaries; Substance Abuse; Mental Disorders; The Hard Truth, And Sad Speculation; Ambushed; Is Estrangement in the Genes?; Remember the Good You Did; What Now?; Another Perspective: Bookmark It!; Power Up a Positive Outlook: Three Steps). CH3: Get the Support You Need (Strength in Numbers; Getting Immediate Help; Closed Door Support; Setting Strong Goals; Go For a Smart Goal That Supports You; Goals Are Transformative; Among Friends: Plan Ahead; Making New Friends; Ready Responses; Faith-based Support; An Empowering View; Depression and Guilt; At Your Best). CH4: Ready, Set, Prepare (How Has Estrangement Changed You?; Take Stock; The Pain of Hope; Life Brings Dilemmas; Emotional Triggers; One, Two, Three--Get Free; Stay Mindful; Lovely Path Or Rut of Despair?; Pain Management; Another Perspective: Kids Who Don't Fit; Visualize Your Child's Happy Life). CH5. See Your Feelings in a New Light (Life Includes Loss; The Landscape of Loss is Fertile Ground For Growth; Help Wanted? Help Yourself; The Waiting Game; Sadness Hurts, So Take Care). CH6: Managing the Effects On the Family (A United Front; Couples Tips; The Blame Game; How Fathers Relate; Leaning On One Another; You and Your Other Children; Extended Family; The Social Media Conundrum; A Better Experience; The Shape of Your Family). CH7: What Does It Mean to Reconcile (Hurtful Hope, And Boundaries; Precautions for Meetings; A Broken Heart; Coming to Terms With Reality; Examining Your Relationship; An Apology Letter: Should You Write One?; Boundaries: Setting Your Own Terms; Agreeing to Disagree; Exhausting All Efforts; Reconciling: What It Means/What It Takes). CH8: Life Goes On (What Rights do Grandparents Have?; End of Life Decisions:Who Is Your Next of Kin?; Your Estate: Who Benefits?; Nearing the End of Life: Will Your Adult Child Be Informed?; Other Considerations; This Is Your Time; In Sickness and In Health; On Your Own: Taking Care of Yourself; The Golden Years). CH9: Walk Forward (Play the Hand You're Dealt; Walking Forward; Who Are You Really?/What's Your Mission?; Be Resilient; Take Notice and Savor; Look How Far You've Come; Sunlight Ahead; Practical Steps for Your Bright Future). PostScript. NOTES. INDEX.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
This summer I bought Sheri McGregor's book "Done with the Crying" at Barnes and Nobles. Since I am one of the parents who is struggling with an Estranged Adult Child this book was so enlightening. Sheri hit on every emotion, tear and pain that I have been feeling for the last 2 years. When I was reading this book I thought she was talking directly to me. I keep this book on my nightstand to refer back to chapters I need to read again. Thank you Sheri for you insight, time and perfect words to help me deal with the deep heartache.
At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, I believe the the book Done With the Crying by Sheri McGregor truly saved my life. Becoming estranged from a child-- under any circumstances is one of the most painful feelings a parent can experience. My now 21 year old(who has been out of my life for several years) son is a victim of parental alienation through the actions of my ex-husband/ his father. He is brainwashed. The best analogy for his condition-- as far as I can understand --is that he is member of a cult of two: my ex and his wife. I have suffered to point where I believed that my resources for coping with pain exceeded my pain-coping resources. It was a dark space and I couldn't find my way out. Then by pure luck, I stumbled upon the ultimate pain-coping resource: Sheri's Website and Done With the Crying. It felt as if she had been in my house and in my head as she identified every possible thought/feeling/pain that a mother could experience in losing a child. She could articulate my thoughts so well for only one reason: she has been in my shoes. Not only does her book offer helpful insights into the process and feelings of losing a child, but also provides a template for healing. The book has many "thought/feeling" exercises which helped me to understand the process of healing.. It forced me to examine my feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Most of all, the book gave me the hope that I can and will survive and thrive regardless of the future outcome of the relationship with my son. I carry the book with me everywhere(and I just travelled around the world); it was always on me in case my mind wandered off to the dark side or self pity set in. I would read 2 or 3 pages and it was a healing balm. I am hoping that the audio/downloadable version are forthcoming. It is my bible for hope. Sheri has empowered my positive thinking through her sharing her story along with powerful suggestions. It is a must read (and carry) with you book if you have an issues with loss of an adult child/children relationship. I am deeply grateful for her insight, wisdom and strength which will undoubtedly help thousands of mothers who are suffering as deeply as I. Thank you Sheri.