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About the Author
Hazel Dixon-Cooper is Cosmopolitan magazine's Bedside Astrologer and the author of the internationally bestselling astrology books, Born on a Rotten Day and Love on a Rotten Day. She also writes the daily horoscopes for Cosmo Mobile and can be heard every Friday morning on Wake Up with Cosmo, Sirius Satellite Radio, for the latest celebrity gossip and weekend astro forecast. She is a professional astrologer and a research member of the American Federation of Astrologers.
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Friends on a Rotten Day
the Astrology of friendships
By Hazel Dixon-Cooper
Red Wheel/Weiser, LLCCopyright © 2008 Hazel Dixon-Cooper
All rights reserved.
March 20–April 19
Symbol: The Ram
Colors: Shades of red to orange, pastels
Flowers: Geranium, honeysuckle, sweet peas
Fragrances: Cinnamon, almond, orange, and floral musks
When real people fall down, they get right back up and keep walking.
ACTRESS SARAH JESSICA PARKER (MARCH 25)
She's the first sign of the zodiac and has been called everything from ballsy to bitchy. Her jets are always on high, and she is happiest when she's leading a cause, the gang, or is first in line waiting for tickets at the box office. She's also going to be the first girlfriend to rush to your side for a wild night of fun or to hug you and hand you a tissue when you're having a rotten day, as long as she feels that she's the number one friend in your life.
Your Aries best friend is ruled by Mars, the fiery, volatile, warrior planet that rules the First House of Self. Mars's energy is hot, bright, and passionate. So is she. This girl is impatient, restless, energetic, and full of life. Aries pals are not reserved. She'll push her way through a crowd and argue with anyone who says that she's cutting in line.
Ever get the feeling that she acts as if the world revolves around her? You're right. Hers does. Reincarnation tells us that Aries is the baby of the Universe. In the First House of Self, the soul begins its journey around the zodiac wheel. Her young soul is preoccupied with its personal world, just as a real baby is preoccupied with its own fingers and toes. She needs to feel bonded to you, as a baby needs to bond with a parent. Remember that. Making casual friends with an Aries is easy. She loves to meet new people and usually will take the lead in introducing herself. Keeping her close requires that you understand that, although she can be hot headed and a little pushy, inside she's as vulnerable as the toddler who needs constant love and support.
She can be nonstop talkative like Gemini and Sagittarius. Where Gemini chats are filled with questions about you, and Sagittarius conversations are sprinkled with philosophical sidebars, your Aries pal's dialogues are usually about herself. First is one of the key words with Aries. Show your interest in her by letting her talk first. She'll try to listen politely when it's your turn. What's more likely is that she'll probably interrupt to interject an anecdote about her life. This isn't as selfish as conventional astrology tells us. It's her way of proving to you that she understands and connects with you. Whether it's men, family, career, movie stars, or even food, this girl needs to constantly reassure herself that you two have something in common.
Aries is Masculine Cardinal Fire. As a Cardinal sign she wants to initiate action or lead the way for others. Being Masculine (assertive) with her Fire nature ruled by Mars makes it hard for her to listen, plan ahead, or wait for results. As when she first learned to walk, an Aries pal has to take her own emotional falls. When she does fall, telling her that you think she was brave to face a problem outright, or to march into the boss's office to ask for a raise, will make her smile. Praise is another Aries key word.
Her astrological symbol, the Ram, is a sure-footed creature that bounds over the hillsides without a moment's hesitation. A Ram will run headlong into an enemy without thinking to protect its territory. An Aries chum does the same. She rarely looks before she leaps and is always ready to take a stand against a perceived enemy or injustice. This chum is one of the best champions of the underdog in the zodiac. She'll fight for you the same way. While she hopes that you will fight for her, she has the unique perspective of understanding that not everyone is as strong willed as she, and she will be as appreciative of your emotional support even if you aren't the type to wade into the war with her.
This girlfriend doesn't need a pack of admirers. She's independent and can amuse herself with a variety of activities, from reading to sports. She's more likely to have a handful of special and different buddies instead of one group that she hangs with all the time. She's almost always in motion. To be more than casual chums you'll need to keep up. If you're the shy type who likes to stay in the background, you might think she's too much to hang around with on a permanent basis. You could also have the time of your life, because her funloving approach to life ensures you few dull moments.
As are the other Fire signs, she's full of advice. But, unlike Leo, who feels a certain responsibility to help, or Sagittarius, who can see both sides of the issue, Ms. Aries will spout all sorts of ways to fix your problems without bothering to get the facts. This girl will go so far as to volunteer to confront the issue for you. She's eager to tell off your enemies or a nasty bill collector. Your Aries pal will not hesitate to help you with a problem, offer advice, or even take control. However, she'll seldom take your advice when she's in trouble. Exasperating? You bet. She'll tell you that she's up to her ears in alligators. No matter how on target your advice is, she'll most likely reject it. Her impulsive need to jump into the fracas without a plan often lands her in trouble.
Your Aries friend might battle for the environment, women's rights, or a charitable organization. More likely, she'll focus on a personal battle. She might decide that you should lose weight, quit biting your nails, or give up some other unhealthy habit. She's the zodiac's warrior princess who needs to fight for a cause, and her usual causes are the people she loves.
An Aries girlfriend of mine was married and divorced very young and raised four children alone. She suffered a violent spouse and the loss of a child. Later she added three stepchildren to her family, and anyone else who needed a temporary place to crash. For decades her life seemed like a magnet for adversity. A softer person would have cracked, but she refused to give up. She was on a survival mission. She felt that she had to fight for her children, then her stepchildren, and now her parents and in-laws as they age. She's the one who bucks the system, argues with the doctors, and tracks down the best care. Although she's in her sixties, her daily schedule might exhaust a Gemini. She seems as tireless and energetic as ever. It's her basic instinct. An Aries woman doesn't do laid-back.
She's competitive. This Aries trait is a dual-edged sword. Her motivation and courage to accomplish whatever she tries can get skewed into a perpetual contest. Most of the time, she'll be eager to see you succeed and will be your greatest supporter. She'll brag about you to the rest of her friends and be almost as proud of your accomplishments as she is her own. Always brag about her too, because her competitive spirit arises from her inner need to have your admiration. Bragging about her in front of her is best. It fuels her need to feel important, and she thrives on encouragement. It reassures her that she's doing well and that you're proud and happy to be her friend.
The worst thing you can do to an Aries is criticize her. Her self-confidence is as vulnerable as the false bravado of a small child. She may be the hardest-driving career woman you know, or the girl with a string of guys fighting for her cell number, but you can burst her bubble with an offhand comment. Her hair looks drab. Her outfit is outdated. Outwardly, she may get pissed and fire off a comeback. Inside, she'll be crushed. Do it too often and she'll disappear. If you need to call her attention to an issue, do it honestly and gently. Start with praise, then suggest the change.
That churning Martian energy sometimes makes her touchy and irritable. Usually, it's when she's overexerted herself. Rams can go from energetic to hyperactive in a heartbeat. Don't try to calm her down. You can't. Suggesting a relaxed evening that would soothe a Taurus, Cancer, or Pisces won't work. Instead, offer to go for a walk with her, take her for a drive, or to the gym or dancing. She needs action to unwind. Otherwise, her overamped energy will turn into a highly charged flow of snippy remarks that could put the sharpest tongued Scorpio to shame.
Mostly, she's full of life and eager to please. She may try to tell you what to do, but she will respect the fact that you want to do things your way. Your Aries girlfriend is part Joan of Arc, part Lady Godiva, and part Orphan Annie. It's an interesting mix. What you see is what you get with her. If you want a pal who is straightforward, who never loses her childlike interest in life, and who will help you to fight any battle, she's your girl.
I have a big, flamboyant, open personality....
ACTRESS KATE HUDSON (APRIL 19)
A playful Aries pal is always ready for fun. She likes to be where the action is, and like Gemini and Sagittarius, she's one girl who will drop everything for a good time. The difference is that most times she'll call you first with news of anything from the hot Internet deal for a girls-only cruise to a pizza and sleepover at her place.
All Fire signs need to keep busy, and easily bored Aries most of all. If you want to stay high on her list of fun friends, you'll need to act as spontaneously as she does at least part of the time. She'll understand if you aren't always ready or willing to change plans at the last minute to accommodate her newest adventure. But, turn her down too many times and she'll quit asking. Not because she doesn't like you anymore. This girl simply doesn't have the patience, or interest, to keep begging you to join the fun. The good news with your Aries pal is that even if you do lose touch, if you call to catch up or to invite her out, she'll be eager to renew the friendship. Her childlike inner spirit works that way. Time or distance doesn't mean much to her, and once you're her friend, you're always a friend.
She has a built-in need to have the last word. It's that Martian competitive streak. Although it can be irksome, try to think of it as a harmless quirk. Whether you're on email or the phone, if you say, "So long," she'll say, "Buh-bye." You say, "Okay." She responds with "Right." What do you do? Ignore her. She's in toddler mode. If you call her on it, she'll laugh, but it's unlikely she'll change.
Most Aries women are health conscious, which makes her a great gym buddy. She'll encourage you to stick with the program or, more likely, turn it into a competition to see which of you reaches your goal first. Be prepared to work your butt off. She will. She'll also push you as hard as she pushes herself, to ensure that you succeed too.
Need to plan a last-minute party? Call her. Like Cancer and Sagittarius, she'll love to help you pull it together, and she'll do a great job. She doesn't mind running all over town with you to pick up the food or decorations. She'll also get the fun started by making sure everyone gets introduced or initiating an ice-breaker game.
All Fire signs love a bash, and if the party's for her she'll adore being the guest of honor. Whereas Leo likes the spotlight because she likes being the center of attention, your Aries pal seeks attention because it's an acknowledgment of her importance in your life. While she does like to be surprised, if you really want to thrill her, tell her what you are planning. Letting her choose the decorations or some food items or remind you not to forget to invite someone really makes her feel special.
This girlfriend likes gifts that give her an experience as much or more than tangible presents. She will love tickets to a play, a concert, or a sporting event. Buy her a gift certificate for a golf or flying lesson. She loves to read, but her attention span isn't as long as those of some other signs, so buy her shorter books, such as action-packed thrillers or romance novels that engage her amorous side.
If she's getting married, she'll love a time-saving appliance for the kitchen. Maybe a juicer that appeals to both her need for speed and her quest for health. Something sexy and drop-dead red for her boudoir will appeal to her passionate nature.
Whether she's nineteen or ninety, your Aries girlfriend is a gogetter who needs plenty of excitement in her life. She's continually looking for something new and interesting to do, and you can count on her to always be ready to rock and roll.
Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose.
AMERICAN JAZZ SINGER BILLIE HOLLIDAY (APRIL 7)
Your Aries pal doesn't always stop to think about how her actions will affect you. As a Cardinal sign, along with sisters Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn, an Aries likes to lead. What's better than calling all the shots? Compound this with her first time on the zodiac soul trip, and the result is an eager, excitable woman who has a definite selfish streak.
She's full of contradictions. Sincere and outspoken, an Aries friend will do anything in her power to help you if you need her. She also won't hesitate to tell you that she doesn't like one of your other friends or that your latest haircut looks like it was chewed by a lawnmower. Is this a double standard from earlier, where I told you that her feelings are easily wounded? You bet. In her view, she's trying to be helpful. If you wince under the weight of her blunt observations, she'll be quick to apologize, but that won't stop her from being as outspoken the next time. Look at the bright side. Not many girlfriends will give you as honest an opinion. When you need to hear the truth, your Aries pal is one you can count on to tell it, even if it hurts.
Whether it's a night out with the girls or a weekend road trip, the lady Ram might try to take the initiative to plan the occasion even if you've already made arrangements. At the least she'll have a few ideas on how to make the trip or evening more exciting. If you say, "Thanks, but no thanks," to her suggestions, she can get pushy. Plus, she won't hesitate to say, "I told you so," should a glitch arise in your plan. In fact, she'll take unabashed glee in pointing it out. Annoying? Oh, yes. Remember that she's operating from her childlike need to feel important. Instead of arguing, tell her that next time you'll get her opinion first. Whether you do or not, you'll satisfy and shut her up for the moment.
Her temper is legendary. Think of Rosie O'Donnell's very public feud with Gemini Donald Trump. Whether you think she was right or wrong, Rosie didn't miss a heartbeat in telling the world what she thought of his perceived manipulation and "ownership" of the Miss America contest. With full-scale Aries fire and brimstone, she went ballistic when Trump shot back with his own sarcastic—and typically Gemini—barbs, and the feud quickly escalated into a lengthy, primetime war. In classic Aries style, Rosie shot from the lip without thinking how her behavior would affect anyone else. Her opinion was all that mattered to her, damn the consequences.
Luckily, your chum will hardly be as bratty as Rosie. Usually an Aries girl erupts like a volcano, then quiets as fast. Think of the two-year-old's temper tantrum. Once it's over, it's forgotten. Every Ram explodes a little now and then. She needs to blow off her Martian energy. In fact, it's emotionally healthy for her. Bottle it up, and this girl can stir up lots of trouble to keep herself from being bored. She may yell or smash a dish or two. Then she feels better, cheerfully cleans up the mess, and moves to the next thing on her agenda. You should be on alert if she gets quiet. That's when she's really hurt or angry, and when she's either moving in for the kill or moving out of your life. It takes a lot to hurt an Aries that badly, and if you do, you'll most likely deserve to have her tap dance on your head.
Even if you're her best friend in the Universe, her selfish side can sometimes make you want to scream. You may have just held her head through the hangover from hell, listened to her vent for hours about her stupid boss, or bought her lunch because she was short on cash. Yet, she won't always make time for you. If you're going to make it work, you'll need to remember it's the baby thing and try to be patient.
She truly lives in her own world, more so than other signs. Pisces may seem out of it, but Pisces retreats from the world. Aries flies headlong into it, then tries to mold it to fit her needs, sometimes without regard to anything or anyone else.
Excerpted from Friends on a Rotten Day by Hazel Dixon-Cooper. Copyright © 2008 Hazel Dixon-Cooper. Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Chapter One Aries
Chapter Two Taurus
Chapter Three Gemini
Chapter Four Cancer
Chapter Five Leo
Chapter Six Virgo
Chapter Seven Libra
Chapter Eight Scorpio
Chapter Nine Sagittarius
Chapter Ten Capricorn
Chapter Eleven Aquarius
Chapter Twelve Pisces
About the Author
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
this book is filled with funny bits about the day you were born so different from all the other horoscope books!! made my whole family laugh!
It was really good. It was clear and down to Earth. The author truely has a great perspective and went above and beyond to explain clearly to the readers about her book and the signs. I'm very understanding of the zodiacs but if I were a beginner most of the books would just confuse me, not this one. She includes factors that draw you in and you can't stop reading! Even though it's long you'll find yourself not only reading about your sign and a few others but pretty soon you'll want to see what all the signs are like and giving her description you'll find exactly what you want and more! I highly recommend the book to anyone.
Have you ever had a friend do something odd or act in a way where you are saying to yourself "WTF"? Well I have and that is why I picked up this book. First of all I turned to the Gemini section (mine) and read up on myself. What I love about the "Rotten" books (Yes, I also have Born on a Rotten Day and Love on a Rotten Day) is that they give you the negative side of your sign as well as a small bit of the positive side. I like to see my downfalls so that I can be aware of them and hopefully change or catch them before they happen.I found myself shaking my head at how my friends must view me at times but also feeling good that now I knew what to watch for in myself. Then I turned to my friends' signs and my sister's sign and it really helped me to see why they acted they way they did at times. These are all fun books to read. Hazel is the Cosmo astrology girl so if you like reading about astrology with some humor pick one or all of these books up. :)