Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior

by Mark Goulston, Philip Goldberg

Overview

What’s holding you back?

Self-defeating behavior is the #1 reason that people seek psychotherapy. Whether it’s envy, compulsion, inaction, holding a grudge, or not moving on, so many of our biggest stumbling blocks are self-imposed, preventing us from achieving the happiness, love, and success we all want in our lives. The good news is: We can do better.

Get Out of Your Own Way explains why we sabotage ourselves and offers proven steps of action to transform behavior from self-defeating to life-enhancing. With anecdotes and usable insights drawn from decades of clinical practice, Dr. Mark Goulston shares ideas that have helped thousands of patients overcome pain, fear, and frustration to approach life’s challenges with dignity, courage, and even humor.

Discover practical steps toward positive change that you can work into your daily routine, starting today.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780399519901
Publisher:	Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:	02/01/1996
Edition description:	1st ed
Pages:	208
Product dimensions:	7.96(w) x 5.04(h) x 0.55(d)
Age Range:	18 Years

About the Author

Mark Goulston, M.D., is a corporate consultant who works with executives, managers, and line workers to help them get out of their own way so they can realize the success that their skills, talents, and abilities deserve. His clients include Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, GE, White & Case, Eli Lilly and Company, Disney, Kodak, and the FBI. He writes "The Leading Edge" column for Fast Company. He was selected as one of America's Top Psychiatrists for 2004-2005 by the Consumers' Research Council of America. Dr. Goulston is the author of Get Out of Your Own Way and Six Secrets of a Lasting Relationship.
Philip Goldberg, a novelist and screenwriter, has authored or coauthored sixteen books.

Table of Contents

	10 Things You Can Learn from Self-Defeating Behavior	xi
	Introduction: How to Beat Self-Defeat	xv
1.	Chasing After Love and Approval From a Parent	1
2.	Getting Involved With the Wrong People	6
3.	Procrastinating	11
4.	Expecting Others to Understand How You Feel	15
5.	Waiting Until It's Too Late	21
6.	Getting So Angry You Make Things Worse	25
7.	Saying Yes When You Want to Say No	29
8.	Holding a Grudge	33
9.	Assuming They Don't Want Anything in Return	37
10.	Playing It Safe	41
11.	Always Having to Be Right	45
12.	Focusing on What Your Partner Is Doing Wrong	49
13.	Putting up With Broken Promises	54
14.	Trying to Make up While You're Still Angry	59
15.	Not Learning From Your Mistakes	63
16.	Trying to Change Others	67
17.	Rebelling Just for the Sake of Rebelling	71
18.	Talking When Nobody's Listening	75
19.	Pretending You're Fine When You're Not	79
20.	Becoming Obsessive or Compulsive	83
21.	Taking Things Too Personally	88
22.	Acting Too Needy	92
23.	Having Unrealistic Expectations	96
24.	Trying to Take Care of Everybody	100
25.	Refusing to "Play Games"	104
26.	Putting on an Act to Make a Good Impression	108
27.	Being Envious of Others	113
28.	Feeling Sorry for Yourself	117
29.	Assuming the Hard Way Is the Right Way	122
30.	Thinking "I'm Sorry" Is Enough	126
31.	Holding It All In	130
32.	Quitting Too Soon	135
33.	Letting Others Control Your Life	139
34.	Leaving Too Much to Chance	143
35.	Letting Fear Run Your Life	148
36.	Not Moving on After a Loss	152
37.	Not Getting Out When the Getting Is Good	156
38.	Not Asking for What You Need	161
39.	Giving Advice When They Want Something Else	166
40.	Backing Down Because You Don't Feel Ready	171