How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend

How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend

by Gary Ghislain

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780811874601
Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC
Publication date: 06/08/2011
Pages: 208
Product dimensions: 5.90(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.90(d)
Lexile: HL570L (what's this?)
Age Range: 12 - 18 Years

About the Author

Gary Ghislain is a French-American author living in Antibes, France. This is his first novel.

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How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend 3.6 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 23 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Fast-paced and packed full of charm!
TeensReadToo More than 1 year ago
David's dad often has patients in their home, in order to help them with their mental issues. However, there has never been anyone quite like Zelda. She swears she is from another planet and has come to Earth to find her one true love. David instantly falls for her, captivated by her wild nature and even wilder stories (or so he believes). Soon, Zelda is on the run and David finds himself dragged along to keep her safe and in his sights. Because Zelda is after one man - Johnny Depp. The premise of this story is really fun and the overall book is a quick read, filled with the police and chases and creepy alien women. The idea that Zelda would go after Johnny Depp sounds simple enough for us human women, but Zelda didn't actually know her "one true love" was a famous movie star. One of the things that makes this book interesting is the setting. It takes place in Paris, which makes sense as that is where Johnny lives. I like that there is a YA book out there for the U.S. market that isn't set in the United States. You often get other countries when the tale is historical, but this is nothing but a contemporary...with elements of sci-fi, of course. Unless Zelda is faking. Is she? Why is David so captivated by her then? HOW I STOLE JOHNNY DEPP'S ALIEN GIRLFRIEND was a fun and fast read, and I can see a lot of boys AND girls enjoying this.
The_Hibernator on LibraryThing 24 days ago
How I Stole Johnny Depp¿s Alien Girlfriend was a humorous young adult science fiction novel about a boy who becomes enamored with his father¿s mental patient. The two teens go on a romp through Paris searching for the girl¿s soul-mate, Johnny Depp. Although I got a few good laughs out of this story, I don¿t think it was appropriate for the target audience. As far as I¿m concerned, sexual content is a little iffy in books written for any teen, but it is especially inappropriate when the book is written for 15-year-olds.
krissa on LibraryThing 24 days ago
This book was one of those books, that when you put down at the end, you think, that was a fun ride. When it started out as a story about a French boy who has a crush on a girl that is crazy (she thinks she is an alien), it really didn¿t grab me. But. It was an interesting plot. Was she, or wasn¿t she crazy? And the clues that lead you back and forth on the journey, until a decision is made, are believable. The setting was in different parts of France. It was interesting to hear the author throw in the details of location, but honestly, I felt this could have taken place anywhere. David was an average guy. Which probably made him the least interesting, but we needed him to be the sanity in the middle of all the chaos. Because I think I feel he also went through the most growth. I think the girl Zelda, was a bit one dimensional, but amusing, none the less, with her wacky rituals like singing to her bellybutton and walking around in bizarre outfits. Malou (David¿s sister) was a nice addition to the book, and served almost as the middle guy, between the other two, but also manipulating circumstances to her favor. The ending was quite exciting, and I found that it gave payoff to the rest of the story. But. The wrap-up, was a little lukewarm to me and vague. I don¿t think it was logical, for all the characters. With that said, I look forward to reading more by this author.
melydia on LibraryThing 24 days ago
Yeah, what you thought just now was pretty much what I thought when I picked up this book: "wait, what?" And that is, truth to tell, pretty much how I feel now that I¿ve finished reading it. David¿s father is a therapist for troubled teens whose latest client, the lovely Zelda, claims to be an alien searching for her Chosen One. This Chosen One turns out to be none other than famous actor Johnny Depp, but David follows her on her quest, more out of dumbstruck love than anything else. Soon they¿re on a madcap adventure through Paris involving some stolen cars, underage sex, and burning gas stations. The whole thing is pretty ridiculous. I can see some parents objecting to the mature content, but this book has `80s teen comedy written all over it. It¿s a bizarre and somewhat shallow story, and over all I think I enjoyed it. You might too.
SusieBookworm on LibraryThing 24 days ago
David is a fourteen-year-old boy who spends his life getting shuffled between his psychiatrist dad in the French countryside and his self-absorbed, ridiculously wealthy, lawyer mother in Paris. He doesn't particularly enjoy either place (the villagers where his dad lives mistrust all the insane teens who get sent there to be "fixed"; his mother and her boyfriend care more about material objects than him), but David's life gets much more interesting when Zelda shows up at his father's place. Zelda claims to be an alien, sent from her (all-female, sexy warrior) planet to find the "chosen one," who just so happens to be Johnny Depp. When Zelda stows away in David's mother's car on the way back to Paris, who knows what wacky adventures will ensue?I honestly expected very little from this book (sorry, Mr. Ghislain). An author I'd never heard of (this is his first book, though) being published by a company I'd never heard of with a ridiculous title for a weird plot. It sounded like some self-published thing that would turn out to be a poorly-written load of trash (no offense to self-published/small unknown press authors in general, but most of the books I've read from these places lately were a waste of time). Fortunately, I got a surprise with this one. Ghislain's writing was way better than I expected, and the story, while, yes, it was weird and off-the-wall, was enjoyable to read. I've read better science fiction, but I've also read much, much, much worse. There was never a point where I was so interested in the book that I couldn't put it down, but at the same time I was never bored. So, to wrap this up: How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend is a good read when you're in the mood for a short, occasionally humorous, wacky book.
jugglingpaynes on LibraryThing 24 days ago
Fourteen year old David Gershwin lives in France and is staying with his father, a psychologist, when he first meets his father's patient, Zelda. Zelda thinks she's an alien and is on a mission: She must bring her Chosen One back to her planet before she runs out of time and is trapped on Earth forever. Her Chosen One happens to be Johnny Depp. But is she an alien, or simply a mixed up teenager David's father must treat? The truth will unfold in the story.How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend is a fast paced, coming of age adventure that takes place across France. The book is fun and hard to describe. The title brought to mind various early sci fi B-movies like Flash Gordon or Attack of the 50ft Woman. I also thought of comedies like Abbott and Costello go to Mars. The story itself did not detract from this image. And once you discover the answer to whether she is or isn't, the story still holds you and keeps you interested to the very end. An excellent book that I think science fiction loving teens and adults will enjoy.
jackiewark on LibraryThing 24 days ago
How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend is one of the most outrageous, laugh-out-loud books I've read in a long, LONG time. Think Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy meets The True Meaning of Smekday...two of my very favorite books, by the way. When David's father, a famous therapist, is 'fixing' Zelda, all sorts of mayhem and mischief starts. Zelda is a wacky, one-track-minded, brutish woman, who is on Earth (from her planet Vahalal) to find her 'chosen one' and mate. Of course, there are no men on Vahalal, since they are dumb, worthless, smelly, and crude. Clearly, Zelda thinks, as does all of Vahalal, that men are only good for one thing.When Zelda is on a murderous trek to find Johnny Depp (Zelda's chosen one) and transfer her green key tattoo to him (in order to re-enter Vahalal), David is smitten and enlists help from his step-sister, Malou. Together, the three of them, escape authority figures, encounter some maverick Vahalalian rebels called Valks, and generally cause an uproar throughout France with side-splitting humorous escapades that will have the reader wondering just how far these alien women will go.This is one of the best books I've read this year! Kudos to Gary Ghislain, on his debut YA novel. I hope, hope, hope he is planning to write more.Thank you to LibraryThing Early Reviewers, Gary Ghislain, Chronicle Books and Lara Starr for this highly engaging, quirky, and outrageously readable book.
kaypendragon on LibraryThing 24 days ago
Not bad writing - kind of like chick-lit aimed at teenage boys. I don't think the target audience for this book exists though. I would not recommend it to 12 year olds, despite the publisher's ideas.
Joles on LibraryThing 24 days ago
I really thought I would love this book from the description but I was disappointed. The writing style is short and conversational which I found as a positive. But the characterization of the two male buddies I found to be accurate but not quite what I want my YA students to be reading.The story itself was interesting and funny, but I cannot get over the characterization when looking at the intended audience.
Dranea on LibraryThing 24 days ago
Hot chicks from outer space with super speed & time bending powers - what 14 year old boy would not want to be making out with her? I mean, a real-live alien??? And she is hot, tattooed, has a killer body and wanders around in a bikini. This is not just a 14 year old boy's dream, but just about every male with a pulse has had this same fantasy. Only David doesn't just live this story in a fantasy, he gets the whole experience first hand, with YouTube video's to prove it. Zelda (our spicy alien warrior) not only has a cool name and expensive taste in stolen clothing, she has a mission. She must find her chosen one, and like three quarters of the species with XX chromosomes, Zelda wants Johnny Depp. It's an exciting ride full of car chases, almost disintegrations, broken noses, and warrior women blowing things up. As a woman I really enjoyed this story, I'm sure any guy would be more than thrilled to get lost in Zelda's race to get to Johnny Depp before it's too late.
Phantasma on LibraryThing 24 days ago
A really cute and spunky book that reminds me a bit of John Green's writing style. Somehow Ghislain made Zelda both alien and accessible. She's vulnerable and human. I wanted to know more about Vahalal (which was probably intentionally close to Valhalla, but it kind of threw me off), but I realize the pace would have been off if he'd put any more effort into explaining the background.I honestly enjoyed this book. It was fun and fast paced and funny, yet it touched on some deeper topics while still keeping the atmosphere relatively light. If you like the premise, you'll like the book. As for whether Zelda actually IS an alien from the planet Vahalal and whether Johnny Depp IS her chosen one or not... well, you should probably find out for yourself.
LindsaySC on LibraryThing 24 days ago
Hilarious and action-packed. Would be a great read for an young teen looking for a short read filled with laughs and crazy plot twists. Set in France with plenty of pop culture references that most Americans would get.
jenreidreads on LibraryThing 24 days ago
I believe it's safe to say that, like most readers of this book, I chose it simply for the hilarious title. But it turned out to be really good! Zelda claims she's from the planet Vahalal, visiting Earth just to find her "chosen one" who happens to be Johnny Depp. David, the narrator, is the son of Zelda's therapist (she's very violent, and is arrested a few times) and has a huge crush on Zelda. David's voice is great - young, smart and relatable. The zany antics of the characters throughout Paris were really funny. The story was clever, too, in that you're never absolutely sure if Zelda is truly crazy or truly an alien. My main problem with the book is that it's marketed as young adult, and there were several aspects that I did not feel were appropriate for younger readers (the back of the book says it's for 12 and up - I'd say more like 16 and up). There was a lot of talk about sex, and while nothing major happens in the book, more is implied. The young characters are very violent and break the law many times. For adults who enjoy reading YA, this was a super fun read. As a bookseller, I just feel it's important that parents know what their kids are getting when picking out books - this is one I'd recommend with reservations.
readingthruthenight on LibraryThing 24 days ago
The Short of ItAlien love, the next big thing?The Long of ItDavid first meets Zelda in his house `cuz David¿s dad is a Big Deal shrink and he believes having patients in a home-like situation allows them to get a grip on things quicker. (Dr. Dad also shuns the idea of crazy). Zelda is pretty much on lock down. She might have gotten a wee bit violent in a few escape attempts. She is quite clear that she is an alien and has come to France to find her soul mate. David immediately fancies her and her weird ways, so it¿s no surprise that when she makes her final escape he offers to help her find her soul mate. The Thoughts about It..and because I know your first question is: Is Johnny Depp REALLY a character in this book (1) I¿ll answer: Kinda. I mean, not to be terribly evasive, but this was a pretty fun book and a quick read so I wanna keep a lid on certain parts that are more cleverly done and exciting. Sure, the title was what made me order it, and yeah, maybe I didn¿t have that many expectations for it being a decent read; but it was, it had romance and mystery and a chase and adventure. What more could you ask for?
GRgenius on LibraryThing 24 days ago
A short and unusual read....oh come on...you had to guess that last part was coming from the title at the very least....you may be surprised to know that I wasn't entirely sold on the idea from the start. That's right. When it arrived on my doorstep, all I could think was, what in the world??? In keeping with the tone of honestly, the way the story jumped back and forth from brief scene to new character introduction and back again over the course of a single page....I was having a bit of trouble connecting the dots (or finding a reason to care about the characters and their fate)....not to mention the whole mission was a bit absurd. I mean really, her match was suppose to be the Johnny Depp. Yeah...I'm sure there's a gazillion other Earthlings that would claim the same thing right now if given the choice.It wasn't until about halfway through the book (which thankfully wasn't too many actual pages number wise) that Pudin' (aka David, aka the new willing slave of space girl) and Zelda (same said space girl) are making their way closer to their target that things really started to come together. We get more of a background on Zelda, who she is, her people's history, the de-le-o on her choice of Barbarzilla wardrobe...as well as the "key" that needs to be transferred to her match before it's too late (too late as in it will no longer work to open the portal to her world). David's family life becomes clearer as does the appearance of his backbone (well, at times at least). The scenes are more connected though still kept light enough to move this short story along fluidly, building towards an ending you don't really expect but whose arrival works perfectly to fulfill your renewed interest in the storyline.All in all, I don't regret the read....it was short, it was interesting, it was out of this world...so to speak. Recommended read for older children and beyond as there are some references to body parts and acts that the youngest audience may not be quite ready for, though they are still on the tame side. Both male and female readers will have something to cheer for in this book and with its quirkiness, it may even draw in those relunctant readers still looking for something to hook their interest. So Space Splash your way to a bookstore near you and see just how our Vahalalian counterparts approach the Earthly concept of finding "the one". You may be surprised at their methods, appalled by their intents, but you can't argue with the efficiency.
mindylou182 on LibraryThing 24 days ago
This book wasn't really what I expected it to be. I thought it was going to be comical throughout. I will say that it kept me entertained for the most part; however, it did get a bit boring in the middle. I'm up in the air about this book. I liked it in parts and in other parts I was just a little confused. The writing was alright, but nothing captivating. If it wasn't such a short book I'm not sure I would have even bothered finishing it. It was an easy read, but overall I wasn't impressed.
lilibrarian on LibraryThing 24 days ago
Humorous, short tale of how a teen formed a relationship with an alien girl sent to bring her perfect match - Johnny Depp - back to her home planet.
AnnaKay21 on LibraryThing 24 days ago
I liked the characters, the story and the writing was completely solid. But it just doesn't transcend the age gap for me. I'd really recommend this to teenage boys between 12 and 16 years old. I just couldn't get into the mindset of David and while the book was funny it wasn't nearly as gut-busting as expected. Kind of a bummer.
Nikki_Mansfield More than 1 year ago
I was completely smitten with this book for middle-graders. I wish I hadn't taken so long to get around to reading it. The unique plot involves a visiting alien whom a step-brother/sister duo tries to help whilst risking their own lives and sanity in the process. Lots of laughs, a whirlwind of action and blooming romance. These types of boy/girl fantasies are quite the norm, but this one does provide uniqueness with it's setting in the Parisian countryside of France and the capital city itself. Whilst the odd involvement of Johnny Depp is a story grabber and all three main characters, Frog, Malou and Zelda bloom and grow throughout the story. I enjoyed the fast-paced, high-quality writing and would read this author again. A wild, funny and meaningful ride for MGs and YAs. The author is Parisian-American and due to this my warning to some parents is a note on acceptable cultural differences. The book contains smoking, wine-drinking (even while driving) and suggestive sexual interaction. Personally, I rate the book Middle-Grade and up. Age12+
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great book, plenty of action and romance.
thisguy_damo More than 1 year ago
“How I Stole Johnny Depp’s Alien Girlfriend” is about a regular earthling helping an alien space girl named Zelda find her chosen on and return him to planet Zook. Zelda was stealing food from a super market just outside of Paris and that is how they found her. She then had to go to a therapist and they chose David’s dad to be her therapist. David is the main character in the story. He stays with Zelda and accompanies her on her journey. One night Zelda tries to leave the house and ends up knocking out David’s dad and running off and that is when he decides that Zelda is too dangerous for David. What David’s dad does not know is that he has already been spending time with Zelda. They have been doing things like throwing marbles and she has been telling him all about her planet. His father also does not know is that David has already fallen in love with Zelda. It might be obvious that David has to go back to Paris and stay with his mom for the rest of the summer. Once he gets to his moms, he finds out that Zelda has tagged along with them. She space splashed into the car before they left. That is when she moves faster than the speed of light. She is space flopped when does that so she can possibly die. While they are in Paris, the problems just get bigger. She only has a limited amount of time to find her chosen one and she has already lost a lot of time. She has a tattoo that is the key to unlock the doors to enter planet Zook. The closer the time comes for her o go back to Zook the more the tattoo fades away. If the tattoo fades away before she goes back to her home planet then she will have to stay on Earth and live as if she was a homeless person. She would have to eat food off the ground and do dirty work for the elder mother. At one point in time, she realizes that she cannot handle the task anymore so she passes the key to David. They she has to pass over the key are through sexual intercourse. However, David does not remember a thing. His sister just wakes him up, he does not have any clothes on, and Zelda is gone. He has the same tattoo that Zelda has on her arm on his arm. Later in the story David and his sister Malou end up in a nuthouse because the police caught them. David does not realize that Zelda was in there until they are getting ready to go. Once David and Malous parents get of them they sneak out later that night to go back and get Zelda. They know that they are not going to be able to beat all those cops on their own so they ask the mother and her slaves for help. They accept his offer only if he lets them into Zook. So, they go to the nuthouse and within 20 minutes, the whole place is burned down. They found Zelda and dragged her out of the building and put her in the back of the bus a strapped her down. Zelda did not want them to go to Zook. At the end, they still go to Zook. However, what happens to Zelda, Malou, and David.