Patience, My Dear

Patience, My Dear

by Bower Lewis


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In this quirky, romantic novel, in the irreverent spirit of Christopher Moore’s national bestseller Lamb, a young woman is getting texts from an iPhone-obsessed God, and she’s not okay with that. Her handsome new neighbor tries to intervene in the dispute, but is he on her side, or the Almighty’s?

Patience Kelleher doesn’t want to be a soldier of the Lord. She doesn’t want His voice in her head, and she certainly doesn’t want Him texting her emoticon-laden messages about boy band singers and sinister solar power corporations. What would a cranky, twenty-three-year-old waitress know about preventing the Apocalypse? He’s got believers for that sort of thing, or the Army. All Patience wants is to keep a job she actually likes, and to avoid falling for her confounding new neighbor, if at all possible. When the Lord enlists said neighbor to convince her to step up, it doesn’t brighten her mood. That was dirty pool.

Zane Grey Ellison doesn’t particularly want to be a soldier of the Lord either, but he’s keeping an open mind. His world’s been pretty skewed since he abandoned his father’s estate, and his preoccupation with the waitress across the street hasn’t helped him regain his equilibrium. The messages she’s receiving from a text-happy God don’t seem all that much more wondrous to him than his discovery of diner food, or the realization that not every girl in the world can be impressed by a Bugatti Veyron. In fact, if Patience would just stop bickering with the Lord for a minute, he believes they might even get the job done.

Patience fights to keep her sanity as Zane fights to keep the peace, determined not to let the world die…not when it’s just getting good.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781593096441
Publisher: Infinite Words
Publication date: 03/24/2015
Pages: 304
Product dimensions: 5.20(w) x 8.10(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Bower Lewis writes off-beat mainstream fiction, infusing her novels with romance, humor, intrigue, and a touch of sex whenever she can get her characters to sit still long enough. She lives outside Boston with her husband, three Roombas, and two badly behaved cats.

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Patience, My Dear 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 2 reviews.
Jesserfon More than 1 year ago
With Kurt Vonnegut and Douglas Adams gone, and Tom Robbins not publishing much these days, there aren’t many authors who can make me laugh out loud. Bower Lewis has come along just in time to rescue me from a life of serious fiction. Her debut novel, Patience, My Dear, is a comic adventure of biblical proportions. Patience Kelleher doesn’t want to be schizophrenic, but she isn’t particularly relieved to discover that God really is communicating with her and wants her to save the world. With the Lord constantly texting her from an iPhone He has become much too fond of, Patience and her new neighbor Zane Grey Ellison, a good-natured and open-minded guy who’s experiencing the world outside the walls of his family’s old-money estate for the first time, must thwart a boy-band-singer-turned-politician’s plans to sponsor a solar energy company’s scheme that would end in global destruction. After non-stop divine intervention in the form of home-made emoticons, Patience agrees to do the Lord’s bidding, but her vow that the mission will be accomplished without bloodshed complicates the task, and the caper gets completely out of control when her long-lost Uncle John shows up with an assault rifle strapped to his back. The story moves at lightning speed, with surprises at every turn, and Lewis manages to keep the suspense believable even though one of her main characters is omniscient. The personalities and motivations of all the characters—including God Almighty—are fully developed through action and dialogue, and felt real to me, even when they were in unreal situations doing unreal things. Woven throughout the novel is a blossoming romance between Patience and Zane that provides a sweetly innocent counterpoint to the guns and violence, as well as a timely call for peace in a bloody world—but even God doesn’t get preachy about it. There are lessons to be learned and relationships to be explored, but mostly, Patience, My Dear will make you laugh. A lot!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago