Queer Astrology for Men: An Astrological Guide for Gay Men

by Jill Dearman

Overview

A hilariously and startlingly insightful astrology guide for gay men.
Jill Dearman is a breakthrough astrologer for our time. No one has approached the stars with her sass and class ever before! Her guide to astrology for gay men is lively, revealing-- and naughty!
Sections include: in life, in bed, how to seduce him, doing him and dating him, how to last over the long haul, how to get rid of him, and the three faces of each sign.
And a complete compatibility profile of each astrological combination.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781250082169
Publisher:	St. Martin's Press
Publication date:	04/14/2015
Sold by:	OPEN ROAD INTEGRATED - EBKS
Format:	eBook
Pages:	227
File size:	4 MB

About the Author

Jill Dearman has been a fascinated student of the signs and planets since childhood. She has written professionally about astrology for numerous publications since 1990, and is the author of Queer Astrology for Men and Queer Astrology for Women. The study of the stars led her to the study of human nature, and she worked volunteer or part time as an HIV counselor throughout the 1990s.
She is also a playwright, screenwriter, and filmmaker, with many lurid credits to her name. Her short film The Great Bravura, a magician's tale, has been screened at several festivals, and she is currently developing a feature-length version of the story.
She spins her web in New York City, but in her frequent moments of pomposity, views herself as a "citizen of the world."

Read an Excerpt

Queer Astrology for Men

An Astrological Guide for Gay Men

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By Jill Dearman, Mark Neston

St. Martin's Press

Copyright © 1998 Jill Dearman
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-250-08216-9

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CHAPTER 1

Aries

(March 21–April 20)

Element: Fire Mode: Cardinal Ruling Planet: Mars Erogenous Zone: Head, face Best Traits: Brave, thoroughly unjaded, energetic Worst Traits: Oblivious, dominating (see caveman), dangerously impulsive

In Life

The Aries gay man is a primal force. He is strong and butch, even when he's wearing a skirt, and rarely has an indecisive moment. Even the softer ones are real "daddies" on the inside. He must feel like the master of his own destiny at all times and cannot even bear to admit to himself if he feels clueless. It's not that he's a control queen (see Capricorn for that), it's just that the darling boy loves to be in charge. He needs to be his own boss first, and then he can boss you around. And he will, honey.

Mr. Aries could be any of the members of the Village People ... the cop, the cowboy, the construction worker. He loves to play roles, and the more obvious the better. Subtlety is not exactly one of his strong points ... in fact, come to think of it, he possesses none! What he does have a lot of is heart and honesty. He really hates to lie and does it so poorly that he knows it's not even worth the effort. Although on occasion he may tell you how beautiful that cockring looks with that string of faux pearls, just to make you happy and to get you on your back that much faster.

And speaking of faster, pussycat, this man is a veritable speed machine. He goes through life at 150 miles an hour, and he is just as fast and furious in bed. (So that the fast part doesn't frustrate you, you had better get in charge of the foreplay department.)

On the outside, Mr. Aries may seem egotistical and vain, and certainly self-centered, but, you know, he is really a lot more than that. If we were all as up-front about what we want and how we feel, there would be a lot less war and misery in the world and a lot less cattiness in our own little gay ghetto. So take a lesson from him. He is who he is and does not pretend to be anyone else. He 'fesses up to his own shit, and that's what makes him braver than most. He also has high expectations of himself, and if he doesn't let you into his psyche that easily, it might be because he is still trying to prove himself to himself. He may have a big ego, but he is by no means smug.

This man is a true innocent in the world and wants to make his own way on his own terms, without having to lie, cheat, or steal to get to the top. But get to the top he will, because he is a true individual and a real risk-taker, in the best possible sense. He's a rare breed, and he knows it.

In Bed

He's an animal, I tell you, an animal! Mr. Aries loves to conquer, even if he's the one getting tied up and fisted. He brings a beastlike kind of passion to all sexual encounters, and that rough-and-ready MO will not wane as time passes. Some people just crackle with sexual energy and he's one of them.

He can be just a tad one-note, though. Mr. Aries is good in the beginning (grabbing you roughly and kissing as if he means it), and good in the end (coming like a wild man and pushing you to do the same), but in the middle you may have to train him to please you. As I mentioned, he's not exactly a prince of subtlety, so the little details that bring you great pleasure could elude him. So if you just love to have your bare butt spanked before being entered (and who doesn't?), or if you like to have your feet rubbed and licked before you get down to anything heavier, then I suggest you let him know, and let him know clearly. That means with words or with force.

And then once he gets into the habit, he may give you the same kind of loving every time, so then you'd better teach him new tricks, and then new ones after that. But unless you want him to start tricking with someone else, please make sure that you treat his fragile ego like the tender, beautiful thing it is. Make him feel good, and let him know how much he turns you on. You can never go too over the top when it comes to showing him how wild with lust he makes you.

He tends toward rough sex more than most (and since this book is for gay men, you know he must be quite a savage sister). He could care less if the room smells like patchouli incense or if your sister-in-law is doing her nails in the next room. He wants what he wants when he wants it, and spontaneity is definitely one of his strong points. He is drawn toward the dirty and likes to feel and smell as if he's just had sex with a man when the deed is done. He also likes it if you are not in the mood. He does find love a challenge after all. Protest too much and you will surely be screaming with ecstasy within the hour.

And remember, his head is his erogenous zone, so give that thick skull the attention it deserves, and that its owner desires. And speaking of giving, let's get real for a moment, shall we? This man honestly prefers for you to give to him, more than he needs to give to you. You know what I'm saying, girl: give him a blow job, give him your cock, or give him your ass to fuck. It's all about him darling, and if you are lusting after an Aries, I suspect that that's part of the turn-on.

How to Seduce Him

In his fantasy world, he is the man who gets what he wants. He's the gay James Bond, in a Tarzan outfit. Let him chase you down, if you really want him. Play the waiting game, because he is definitely the kind of guy who appreciates (and gets off on) a challenge. As the mother of an Aries friend of mine once said, "The boy won't buy the cow if he can get the milk for free." Translating this into modern gay terminology: your Aries man will work a lot harder and come to you a lot faster if you don't make things too easy for him. Be a little straight-girl cock-tease, who knows she can't open her legs for every Dick, Dick, and Dick. Drive him crazy with self-restraint and let him know why you are holding back your love (the contrived reason, of course, darling, not the real one!). Tell him that you are at a point in your life where you need to move slowly and cautiously before jumping into a hot sexual tryst. Well, maybe that is the truth, but he doesn't have to know the whole truth ... like the fact that right up until you met him, you were a complete and total slut.

Doing Him and Dating Him

The early stages of a relationship with an Aries are truly the most fun. He loves to woo and is quite irresistible when he turns on that potent physical charm. He likes to go out a lot. Dining he can take or leave, but dancing is usually an important part of the ritual. Try not to laugh at him when he shows off on the dance floor. He may have the annoying habit of "dancing with himself," but that's where you can teach him a few things, you passive whore you. A little dirty dancing goes a long way.

You will also find that he is well liked but basically marches to his own drummer. Hang out in a group ... he will appreciate the social contact, but make no mistake, he wants to be with you and you alone, you little love object you. So, just when he seems totally "over" the communal experience, pull him off to a private corner and rub your nose against that thick brow of his. (If it's a uni-brow, all the better.) But just give him a nice long taste. Then let him decide what comes next. Remember who's the boss, honey.

How to Last over the Long Haul

Mr. Aries is at his best in the beginning of a relationship. He loves all things new and shiny, like your hot rod, sweetie. But once he has conquered you (in his own mind) or feels that he knows all there is to know about you in life and in bed, he will see no reason to stick around. Security is not a motivating force in his life (that's a Taurus thang, darling). So if you want a lasting relationship with this passionate but sometimes immature man, here's what you need to do.

Keep changing your act. If he's already seen a lot of your adventurous and athletic side, why not show him the quietly mystical part of your personality. Leave your candelabra out one night, next to your runes and tarot cards, and force him to ask you if you are a witch (he is so childlike that way!). Help him to discover the many facets of you, sweetie. He may be a one-trick pony, at times, but you don't have to be. In fact, if you show him how multilayered you are, he will be inspired to dig deeper into his bag of tricks to show you how deep and fascinating he is. He is fiercely competitive after all (but in a most refreshingly open and healthy way ... honestly) and will not be outdone by you in the "Who's the real prize?" category. He wants you to keep reinventing yourself so that he can dig into your well of depth for inspiration, and he wants you to encourage him to be even more brave and bold and powerful than he already is. It's all about challenges, sweetie. Challenge yourself, and prod him to challenge himself, and don't be afraid to challenge each other. This man will stick around forever if he finds a partner who is as tough and courageous as he is (or as he aspires to be). If you thought the beginning of your liaison was exciting, you will experience even more thrills years down the road, if you are willing to grow a little bit. Each phase of your evolving relationship can be like a new beginning: sexy, rocky at times, but basically good, honest, and loving.

How to Get Rid of Him

So it was a fun ride while it lasted but now you're ready to say adios to your hot but unevolved Aries lover? Well, how shall we do this? He's blunt, so you might as well be. Mr. Aries would rather be let down like a ton of bricks and know how you honestly feel than to be lead on and pushed away gently. He is a force of nature, and like the disco anthem that he is sure to play twenty-four/seven after you dump him ... he will survive!

But if you are too weak-willed to do the dirty deed in the above manner, try this for plan B: get him to do the dumping first. How, Jill darling, how, you ask? You can take two separate but equally effective approaches. You can challenge every single thing he says. Mr. Aries likes to rule the roost and run his own affairs, like a man, a real man, baby. And real men don't like to be told what to do. Start questioning all his choices, and acting like his mother, not his lover. Boss him around for a change. And I don't mean once in a while as a kind of foreplay. I mean constantly. He won't be able to take it. He'll crack and run out with nothing but the clothes on his back and never look behind him. And you can go back to your quiet, orderly little world, with no Aries around to make lots of noise and state the obvious regularly.

If being bossy is not your style, be boring. He needs a high dose of excitement in his daily life, and if you don't give him enough, he will find it elsewhere. And he won't even leave you a "Dear John" ... I'm sorry ... "Dear Mary" letter before he goes.

The Three Faces of Aries

Every sign is broken up into three decanates, each of which gives the Sun sign a distinctive flavor. Keep in mind, though, that the Sun enters and leaves each sign a day later or earlier during different years. Make the proper adjustments for boys born on the cusp of their sign. Wipe that dumb look off your face and just do it. All right, you Aries boys, no whining, just check an ephemeris and see what the exact dates of your (or your pal's) Sun sign were for the year in question, divide by three, and there you will find the correct decanates.

First-Decanate Aries (March 21–31): The Mars Decanate

First-decanate Aries men are known as the most Aries of all Aries. Born in the early part of the Sun's transit through the sign of the ram, these guys possess an extra dose of courage and naïveté. He's the most focused of the three types of Aries and is also the most like a lone wolf. He likes sex and passion but can live without a committed relationship, unless he has some especially romantic aspects in his chart. He is a true original, this guy, and is more serious than his other Aries brothers.

Second-Decanate Aries (April 1–10): The Solar Decanate

These guys need the most attention of the three types of Aries. They are the most likely to want stable relationships in their life, mainly because they know how to give freely, and are such attention whores, that they simply must ensure an audience at all times. Men born during the middle of the Aries season are a little more cautious than other Aries guys, and a little girlier, too. They like gold lamé and frills. (I don't care how conservative or manly he seems on the outside, check that locked trunk at the foot of his bed. What do you mean, how? Ask a Scorpio if you want to know how to uncover someone's secrets!) He's the most family-oriented and the most conventional of all the Aries groups.

Third-Decanate Aries (April 11–20): The Jupiter Decanate

These are the most outrageous of all Aries guys. The Sagittarius influence makes them a little bit more like high rollers in Vegas, and a little bit less focused and driven than the others. They are truly the most fun, but also the least directed of all Aries fellas. If you are looking to settle down with one of these gadabouts, you may have to wait until he has grown up a bit. They develop more seasoned philosophies of life as they grow older. The young ones need to experience lots of travel and adventure before they can turn from boyz 2 men.

If You Have His Chart

Here are some clues, if you happen to know more about him than his date of birth. If he has a healthy sampling of Libra or Taurus in his chart, he is apt to be more romantic and more relationship-oriented than the average Aries. Both those signs are ruled by Venus— the yin to his Mars-ruled yang. A busy seventh house would indicate the same thing. If his moon is in a water sign (Cancer or particularly Scorpio or Pisces), he does probably possess more emotional range and subtlety than the average ram. Lots of mutable signs in his chart (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces) will make your Aries more flexible than the others. What are you waiting for? Get his chart done now!

CHAPTER 2

Taurus (April 21–May 20)

Element: Earth Mode: Fixed Ruling Planet: Venus Erogenous Zone: Neck Best Traits: Sensual, strong, and steady Worst Traits: Stubborn, stupid, and a slave to the TV

In Life

The Taurus gay man is a powerful force to reckon with. He is ruled by loving and gentle Venus and probably has a mellow, quiet manner. You may recognize him by his slow, sexy voice. Almost all of these men are closet singers or musicians (the more confident ones share their talents with the world). Mr. Taurus is artistic, sexy, and obsessed with security. This man simply must have some money tucked away in the bank (or in his lingerie drawer) in order to feel at peace with himself and the world.

He is an earth sign after all, so he can't help but realize on the most primal level that we are living in a material world, and he is a material girl. Most of these boys do have good jobs, or at least possess the ability to make a lot of dough if they want to. They can be lazy though. The most typical Taurus gay man works superhard to make lots of money so that he can later achieve the freedom and time to do absolutely nothing. Later may mean different things to different Tauruses. Your Taurus may come home at night and watch TV as if it were a religious calling. Or he may go out and enjoy the sensual delights the world has to offer ... good food, good sex ... always keeping in mind his dream to one day be able to sit on his butt and not have to answer to anybody.

Although he possesses incredibly refined tastes (I could write a whole chapter on his taste buds), at heart he has simple needs. Unlike his Leo brothers who really desire the good life or his Gemini brothers who need constant entertainment, Mr. Taurus can do just fine with a simple meal (which includes potatoes—his mother's milk substitute) and a bed with either a good book on his pillow or a remote control. He is self-sufficient and can take care of himself without bothering anybody. Once he is in a place in life (emotionally and practically) to do what he really wants to do, he will probably be happiest working in a field that brings his artistic talents and his smart business sense together. And then he can really feel free to enjoy himself, and all the treats the world has to offer.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Queer Astrology for Men by Jill Dearman, Mark Neston. Copyright © 1998 Jill Dearman. Excerpted by permission of St. Martin's Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Title Page,
Copyright Notice,
Dedication,
Introduction,
Part One: The Twelve Sun Signs,
1. Aries,
2. Taurus,
3. Gemini,
4. Cancer,
5. Leo,
6. Virgo,
7. Libra,
8. Scorpio,
9. Sagittarius,
10. Capricorn,
11. Aquarius,
12. Pisces,
Part Two: Compatibility,
Aries,
Taurus,
Gemini,
Cancer,
Leo,
Virgo,
Libra,
Scorpio,
Sagittarius,
Capricorn,
Aquarius,
Pisces,
Also by Jill Dearman,
Copyright,